1. 2014-05-15, 06:14 PM #1
    zixi
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    I never knew a love....

    A love that could be sweeter
    No matter what my mind says
    Your music gives me fever
    The moment that we danced
    Your arms felt like a cradle
    And when you took my hand
    I was no longer able

    It never felt so right before
    I need to be with you much more
    I can't believe this kind of fate
    We can runaway...

    Is it love?
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  2. 2014-05-15, 06:15 PM #2
    tss
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    No, it's not.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dextroden View Post
    You are a carbon copy of what you long so hard to fight in the streets. An extremist. Someone so desperate for strife to prove you are the ubermensch, err, Real American.

    Alt lite. Sounds like you're having an alt fright. Unable to sleep at alt night. Maybe you should relax and fly an alt kite. Go down to the diner for an alt bite. You shouldn't be treating people with alt spite. Eventually, everything will be alt right.
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  3. 2014-05-15, 06:15 PM #3
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    Does not rhyme all the time, you are not a poet and ought to know it.
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  4. 2014-05-15, 06:16 PM #4
    Puck
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    Quote Originally Posted by RICH8472 View Post
    Does not rhyme all the time, you are not a poet and ought to know it.
    Poems don't need to rhyme to be poetry. There are many different forms.
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  5. 2014-05-15, 06:16 PM #5
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    That's gay
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  6. 2014-05-15, 06:17 PM #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Puck View Post
    Poems don't need to rhyme to be poetry. There are many different forms.
    Yeah crap ones don't rhyme.
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  7. 2014-05-15, 06:22 PM #7
    Forgettable
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    Quote Originally Posted by Puck View Post
    Poems don't need to rhyme to be poetry. There are many different forms.
    True, but if it doesn't rhyme it at least has to sound good.
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  8. 2014-05-15, 06:24 PM #8
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    What is love?
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    {MMO-Champion General Rules} {Off-Topic Forum Rules} {Video Games Discussion Forum Rules}

    "I would let Anduin ravish me." - aiko
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  9. 2014-05-15, 06:34 PM #9
    Cosmic Janitor
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    The rythm is off. It doesn't have to rhyme (don't half ass it though, either it does or it doesn't), but it needs a certain rythm or melody to be good. I can't figure out how to read most of it without stumbling.
    Last edited by Cosmic Janitor; 2014-05-15 at 06:39 PM.
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  10. 2014-05-15, 06:42 PM #10
    zixi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haidaes View Post
    The rythm is off. It doesn't have to rhyme (don't half ass it though, either it does or it doesn't), but it needs a certain rythm or melody to be good. I can't figure out how to read most of it without stumbling.
    TRY with this:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loG4AlwzmO8
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  11. 2014-05-15, 06:42 PM #11
    Forgettable
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    Quote Originally Posted by aikoyamamato View Post
    What is love?
    Baby don't hurt me
    Don't hurt me
    No more
    Watt is love?
    Baby don't Hertz me
    Don't Hertz me
    No Morse
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  12. 2014-05-15, 07:02 PM #12
    Cosmic Janitor
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    Quote Originally Posted by zixi View Post
    TRY with this:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loG4AlwzmO8
    Ah witch an arbitrary echo where needed and mumbling the words. Got it.
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  13. 2014-05-15, 07:06 PM #13
    zixi
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haidaes View Post
    Ah witch an arbitrary echo where needed and mumbling the words. Got it.
    You're a talker.Listening to talkers makes me thirsty.And hungry.Think I'll take 2 chickens!
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  14. 2014-05-15, 07:10 PM #14
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    It must be love. Love, love! DUDU
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  15. 2014-05-15, 07:15 PM #15
    Cosmic Janitor
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    Quote Originally Posted by zixi View Post
    You're a talker.Listening to talkers makes me thirsty.And hungry.Think I'll take 2 chickens!
    Yeah yeah, okay. With the video i can read it fluently enough, though I still think the pausing is akward for an actual poem, fits the music style though (which I don't like).
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