Disclosing that you have HIV.

[Mystrome]

Going to attempt to look at it from both sides...

If i would have the virus, I'd probably be torn between telling and not telling. If it was a person i haven't met before, i'd probably hold off until i got a sense of where things are going. If it was someone who i've known for some time already and started to get romantic feelings for i would probably be quicker to tell her. As long as i haven't told her i carry the virus i would feel guilty about it. At the same time, i'd be scared to tell because of the negative reaction i could get.

If i would be dating a girl who had the virus and i have no knowledge of it, i would want to know about it as soon as possible. I'm not sure how i would react, but i'd probably be scared initially, maybe enough to not date her again. Not just because it could affect my own health, but also could lead to getting my feelings hurt. I honestly don't know if i would be able to overcome my initial reaction. I hope i would, but i might not. I would probably get quite upset if she took 'too long' or things 'too far' before telling me, possibly resulting in me not wanting to ever see her again. Tough either way really. Not sure what 'the right moment' would be if i'm perfectly honest.

This is how i look at it right now. I know it's hypocritical of me, but that's how i feel about it when i'm being honest. I might react completely different if i would actually be in either situation.

If a friend or family member would tell me he/she has HIV, i wouldn't turn and run away. I know very well HIV is highly managable these days, not the death sentence it used to be. You don't get HIV from giving a hug, or lending a shoulder. I've heard reports of some people being immune, and i think recently there was a case where someone actually got rid of the virus. I don't think it will take much longer than 20 or 30 years before a working cure for HIV will be on the market. By then, this will be a non-issue.

[Orange Joe]

Damn, the threads I find of this forum...

If you have HIV, don't date!

HOW FUCKING STUPID ARE YOU PEOPLE?

You are done, you are nothing but a deadly/expensive, disease carrier. Deal with it.

Sucks it happened to you, but fuck off.

If you quietly have sex with someone, just because it feels good to you and have HIV... You, just committed a crime against all of humanity.

Take your meds and whack it to porn please.

Or do HIV carriers have their own gender now?

That could fix it.

Infracted

Please do the world a favor and take your own advice.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

Please do the world a favor and take your own advice.

I don't agree with his presentation but the message has a valid tone. Be responsible and empathetic.

[Darsithis]

I don't agree with his presentation but the message has a valid tone. Be responsible and empathetic.

How does that have a valid tone? If you have HIV, don't date, you're not allowed, because you're a disease carrier and you should be alone forever. That's not a valid tone, message, or presentation.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

How does that have a valid tone? If you have HIV, don't date, you're not allowed, because you're a disease carrier and you should be alone forever. That's not a valid tone, message, or presentation.

I said, be responsible, disclose your HIV status at the right time. Don't just hide it and then have sex with said person and give it to someone else. That just makes the disease even more of an issue. It doesn't mean don't date. Date whoever the fuck you want. Just be responsible with your disease. Like I said, valid tone, he just communicated horribly.


He was acting like making them second class citizens or whatever would be better. Not necessarily so, it just means don't be irresponsible,reckless,careless etc etc.

[Fexus]

I said, be responsible, disclose your HIV status at the right time. Don't just hide it and then have sex with said person and give it to someone else. That just makes the disease even more of an issue. It doesn't mean don't date. Date whoever the fuck you want. Just be responsible with your disease. Like I said, valid tone, he just communicated horribly.

The tone was the worst thing about his vitriolic rant.

[Orange Joe]

I said, be responsible, disclose your HIV status at the right time. Don't just hide it and then have sex with said person and give it to someone else. That just makes the disease even more of an issue. It doesn't mean don't date. Date whoever the fuck you want. Just be responsible with your disease. Like I said, valid tone, he just communicated horribly.

That wasn't his message though was it.



His message was, fuck off, you are infected, go jack off in a corner.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

That wasn't his message though was it.



His message was, fuck off, you are infected, go jack off in a corner.

I still saw what he was trying to say albeit it was a very horrible presentation.

[Fexus]

I still saw what he was trying to say albeit it was a very horrible presentation.

He literally said people with HIV should not date or have sex. He didn't even address this issue of disclosure.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

He literally said people with HIV should not date or have sex. He didn't even address this issue of disclosure.

I know that. I don't agree with him.

[Orange Joe]

I still saw what he was trying to say albeit it was a very horrible presentation.

I think you are only focusing on 1 line, while I see the whole thing.

[Fexus]

I know that. I don't agree with him.

So you don't agree with him, and the way he presented it. Why did you say his message had a "valid tone"? I think I'm just confused.

[NatePsy]

If they're pursuing a relationship where there's physical contact? Yes, it's very important that they tell the person they have HIV.

[Darsithis]

I know that. I don't agree with him.

I know you don't agree with him but when you say he had a valid message, you're implicitly agreeing with it all.

[edmorte]

If you're romantically involved with another party, mentioning you have a life threatening disease is of paramount importance; For some people it's an immediate deal breaker.

That resumed it pretty much.

[Wildtree]

Not sure if it was mentioned, certainly didn't see it on page 1 though
The thread question is Do you have to tell?
The answer is, that this depends on where you live.
In some states/countries you do in fact have to tell, unless you wanna be booked and end up behind bars.

The morally correct answer too would seem to be Yes.
Ergo... disclosure is not a good choice, and can even be illegal.

[Xargoth6634]

I'd want disclosure pretty early on if it were a dating thing. If it's friends hanging out that's turning romantic, I'd say before things got too physical. I think that if a person were enough of a great match for me and was doing the whole med thing I could be with someone who had HIV, but they'd have to be honest with me at the start, explain their meds and seem responsible about taking them and being serious about the process. I dunno, life's too short to pass up on a great match for you, especially with all the info that's been shared in this thread about medical advances and such. Just my take, though.