I'm 18 and dating a 30 year old, how do I tell my mom?

[Darththeo]

You are closer in age to the kid than her.

[Luko]

I think a large part of the people giving advice assume you're not living at home. I don't think you've specified.

If you are indeed living at home, be upfront with your mom out of respect. Seriously. "Hey, look. I'm dating this girl I'm crazy about. I was hesitant to tell you because she's 30 years old and I see how that could come off a little weird, but I felt like you needed to know." Do people not already talk to their parents like this?

If you're not living at home, I'd still recommend the same course of action but you've got a lot more freedom in this scenario. Just remember, the longer you wait to tell her, the more it's going to seem like you were hiding it from her when she (obviously) finds out.

[Forsedar]

You don't need to tell them her age. If they ask you- tell them- if not then who cares. If you really have feelings for her, take her to your parents and just be proud. You will get massive brownie points and thinks will be gravvy. If she makes you happy she makes you happy.

I moved across the country for a girl I met on the internet. Do you think my parents were thrilled? Of course not. 1.5 years later my parents no longer care and are happy that I'm happy. If you guys stay together, your parents will just get more and more attached to the idea of you being with her.


My father is 12 years younger than my stepmom, so its somewhat the same age difference. I hope all works out well.

[Luko]

You are closer in age to the kid than her.

Ouch, lol.

[Deleted]

Doing it wrong, totally met the right person when I was 18! She was only 6 years older, but dad literally did not care. Told me to go enjoy myself. Maybe if he'd known I'd move to Sweden a year later he may not have said that, but hindsights a bitch innit!

Well, you are a huge traitor for leaving the glorious kingdom; But since you're raping and pillaging Sweden i guess you're forgiven.

And ah well, at least i have Lisa.

[MerinPally]

You're 18, have had two 1 year relationships and several 5+ months? So either that's a lie of you're greatly overestimating the relevance of those to what an actual relationship is. You've been together 2 months, things are not "getting extremely serious" or I hope for the love of god they are not. It's not going to last, so I don't know why you're bothering but just sit down and tell them. If things are as "serious" as you say then why would it matter?

[Deleted]

don't listen to all the kill-joys.

if you love her and she loves you, don't give up. However you gotta ask yourself one question. Are you up to the ask of being daddy for her kid? Chances are, you'll spend a lot of time with it, you didn't tell us about the kid's biological father, so I'm not exactly sure how much being daddy will be necessary but yeah.

[MerinPally]

Well, you are a huge traitor for leaving the glorious kingdom; But since you're raping and pillaging Sweden i guess you're forgiven.

And ah well, at least i have Lisa.

I believe it's pronounced "Jill" as can be seen by the shape.

[Deleted]

Well, you are a huge traitor for leaving the glorious kingdom; But since you're raping and pillaging Sweden i guess you're forgiven.

And ah well, at least i have Lisa.

I thought you were going to link Liagala first.

[Xanjori]

I thought you were going to link Liagala first.

Same lol, was a bit "wtf" for a moment. Btw, aren't you meant to be asleep?

[Deleted]

Same lol, was a bit "wtf" for a moment. Btw, aren't you meant to be asleep?

I was, I couldn't sleep.

[Mormolyce]

"Hey mom I've found someone else to do my washing for me!"

Seriously just tell her like you would any other girlfriend.

Why do you have to tell your mom?

Because if he's out past his bedtime he'll get sent to his room with no dessert.

Sorry.

[Vargas]

While the OP is old enough to make his own decisions, I'd have to question what sort of woman would be interested in someone who while legally an adult is still seen as a kid by many. I've seen several similar relationships fall apart spectacularly because of either the age difference or the woman just being perpetually stuck in childhood.

[Deleted]

Truthfully i do think the relationship will crumble, but at least OP can tap dat before it does.

I'd wait a few months more before doing the introductions though OP, saves any awkward discussions and hopefully further ones when you break up.

[dloc76]

As long as you don't bring up your 10th anniversary, your mom should be ok with it.

[Not Againnn]

she would want u to grow some and be a man about it. who cares what mommy and daddy think. it sounds like you care more about what other think of your relationship than the relationship itself.

[Zepher]

Just go all Bobby Boucher on her (mom) if she gives you grief...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQ97vRx4TOw

In case video is a no no.... "And I like Vicki, and she like me back! And she showed me her boobies and I like them too!"

Seriously though, enjoy life and all that the wonders it brings you and don't sweat the small stuff.

[MerinPally]

What if OP is sleep walking and he's actually the 9 year old with an Oedipus Complex

[OzoAndIndi]

and she is some desperate 30 year old.

Desperate wasn't really the word I was thinking. Maybe more something along the lines of...emotionally immature. I intend no offense by that at all, but just from the perspective of being in my 30s...yeah.

It might make for a good fit right now, but if she's incapable of emotionally being a 30-year-old and doesn't really change at all, honestly I would not be surprised if you eventually outpace her in that department and eventually start to notice. Or maybe she'll grow along with you and it will remain a good fit.

'Course, maybe at 30 she's just trying hard to still feel young.


That said...

Well, I guess maybe you could just preface the discussion with the fact that you understand she/they (your mom/parents) may not agree with it, but as an adult you're not doing anything wrong and wanted her/them to be aware that the woman you're seeing is 30.

Or, if your friends think she's that young, then perhaps leave her age out of it for a while. Let your parents come to know her as a person first rather than a number up front. If they end up liking her, well hopefully the shock of her age will be easier to tolerate at that point. Beyond that, only you really know how they handle things.

[Revi]

Really, none of us can tell you how to live your life, but in my opinion you should end things before they get too serious. Ignore the social stigma, and consider a few things:
Do you want to, and are you capable off, being the father of a 9 year old?
Do you ever want children of your own, and if so, are you ready for it within few years?
Are you willing to settle down, and are you capable of sharing expenses when you move in together?
Do you two share similar goals and hobbies? Are you at similar stages of your lives?
Do you REALLY want all this, or are you just unwilling to give up the sex?

I was in a very similar situation to you once. She was 12 years older than me, 8 year old daughter. We were friends for a while, which was fine, but then it evolved to friends with benefits. Sex was absolutely amazing, but eventually I realized she was developing feelings, so we sat down to talk and both agreed to end it before it got any further, because it could never work and it would not have been fair to her daughter.

Unless you're absolutely 110% committed to making this work, not only with her but with her kid, you need to end it. Considering you find it relevant that people can't tell her age, and that the sex being good is a reason to enter a relationship, this doesn't sound like a good bet.