Am I racist if I don't want my daughter to have African-American hair?

[Tyraena]

I'm biracial (white mother/black father), and my wife is white. She's pregnant with our first child, and the baby will be a girl.

I just saw this documentary;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m-4qxz08So

And I know it sounds messed up, but I don't want my daughter to have to go through all of what I saw in that video. Obviously I'm far more concerned about her being healthy, and having all of her fingers and toes in the right place, but I'm also pulling for her to favor her mother's hair texture.

So, am I wrong for wanting my daughter to have hair more like her mother's? Yes or No?

Depends on why, I guess. If you want it because you think it would be in her best interest, then your good.

If you want it because you don't want her to look African-American, then you might have some issues.

[Vermicious]

I'm biracial (white mother/black father), and my wife is white. She's pregnant with our first child, and the baby will be a girl.

I just saw this documentary;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m-4qxz08So

And I know it sounds messed up, but I don't want my daughter to have to go through all of what I saw in that video. Obviously I'm far more concerned about her being healthy, and having all of her fingers and toes in the right place, but I'm also pulling for her to favor her mother's hair texture.

So, am I wrong for wanting my daughter to have hair more like her mother's? Yes or No?

Based on this info, you've got a 50% chance either way... I think 'nappy' hair is a dominant trait.

However, this article http://genetics.thetech.org/ask/ask107 says there's a possibility of an inbetween texture, so there may be more than one gene involved.

[Kiradyn]

I'm black.

...Where it counts

But yes, a website dedicated to... "Black hair" would be better suited than an off-topic website populated by gamers in mid 20's.

I went to one of those websites. They called me a racist and trolled the thread until it was locked and deleted.

[Deleted]

I went to one of those websites. They called me a racist and trolled the thread until it was locked and deleted.

Well, shit.

I guess GenOT it is!

[Kiradyn]

Why can't she keep it natural? I love natural hair on African American women.

I think these women look beautiful.

I think they look beautiful as well (especially the top two), but many women don't feel the same way, and want the straighter, more European look.

[Deleted]

You're not a white male - hence you can't be racist.

You better be trolling.

[Rixis]

Only if you'd be sexist for wanting a son. Liking or disliking things like that is completely natural. People always have ideals on things, eye colour, hair colour/style, gender etc.

[Vyxn]

don't concern with your daughters hair there is more important things to concern your self with like her health
anyways hair styles change all the time straight hair is the thing now by the time your daughter is born and grows up curry hair will be the thing and she wont have to do a thing and all the white woman will be running to the beauty parlor and having chemicals put in the hair to have curls

[Deleted]

Does it matter a single bit what hair your daughter has ?
Pretty damn sure you should be worried about other things that could go wrong before she is born than if it will have so called "african-american" hair.

Whilst on the subject "African-American" is a dumb fucking term anyway. Not like you are part born in Africa and part born in America. You are whatever country you are born in, EX American, Canadian, Nigerian, Icelandic, English, Scottish you get the picture. In this case your worried that your daughter will have tight curly hair, Big fucking deal if she has. Even if she has red curly hair you will love her.

[Halicia]

Only if you'd be sexist for wanting a son. Liking or disliking things like that is completely natural. People always have ideals on things, eye colour, hair colour/style, gender etc.

is it any more or less racist to say "I will like my child less if she has African American hair" then it is to say "I will like my child less if she has African American skin" ?

As silly as I think racism is, the part that disturbs me is that people would actual think like that about THEIR CHILDREN.

[Basemath]

You're not racist for wanting that, no. You're shallow.

[Deleted]

A hypocrite probably. But surely not a racist.

[Deleted]

I think these women look beautiful.

Agreed.

@OP, I don't think it's racist to be concerned about the pressure (not to mention the expense and risks) she will face if she has your hair. Just don't make a deal of it if she does, rather than adding to that pressure.

[Fus Ro Yay]

Grats on the kid!
and to be honest i don't think you are, all you care about is her well being, be it the cost of hair maintenance or whatever.
you're not discriminating or hating on anyone, you're just being a good parent.
Best of luck!

[Rixis]

is it any more or less racist to say "I will like my child less if she has African American hair" then it is to say "I will like my child less if she has African American skin" ?

As silly as I think racism is, the part that disturbs me is that people would actual think like that about THEIR CHILDREN.

I dare say there are people like that, I wouldn't know how to classify them, they may desire the child to look more like them. If you're in a relationship with someone of the other skin colour, I'd hazard a guess you're not racist though.

Maybe people that think like that are doing it for the child's well being, in so far as they know that others are racist, and the child being more white would have an easier time. It's hard to think of a black woman having a child to a white man and hoping the kid was black/more black due to racist ideals than others reasons, but, you never know, once you enter people into the equation.

[Deleted]

No.

Its ridiculous how guilty people are supposed to feel about this stuff nowadays.

you hit the point twice

[BMBLB]

do you want it more like her mom's because it looks better or for her own quality of life?

if the first one, depends. i'd have to really dig into your brain to figure out why exactly you think it looks better to make that judgement. if the second one, no.

at the end of the day, if she wants to style her hair a certain way, then it's your responsibility to discern her motivations and if it were me, in most cases let her. but she's only gonna be a quarter black too, so her hair will most likely be naturally frizzy and long, not nappy.

[Deleted]

Not at all. Nor would a non-violent gathering about violent acts against black people. At least that's what I'm being told where I'm going; though I can hardly understand the others because of their tall, triangular white masks.

[prwraith]

My biggest fair is having a kid with autism or some other handicap so I genetically screen all potential mates.

Don't care, I want to be able to raise a normal kid with the maximum chance of normalcy possible.

[Kiradyn]

Have you watched the documentary? It's allot of work and can be expensive.

Allot of parents hope/wish for certain features in their child - it doesn't make them shallow.

Yeah, people just don't realize what a woman with more black African hair goes through just to try to match the western beauty standard.

I understand that she's going to be 25% black African at least, but i just don't want her to have to deal with some of the shit I saw in that video. It legitimately scared me.

@ those talking about the health being more important; Reread the OP. Of course the health of the baby is paramount to all other things, including this.