Do you believe in prenuptial agreements?

[diddle]

My son and his girlfriend have been together for many years and have lived with each other for quite some time. They have a great relationship, and although it's not a huge issue that has caused a lot of strife part of me thinks it should be discussed between them more.

He suggested getting a prenuptial agreement, just because that is common advice. She stated that she wouldn't want to marry someone who wanted a prenuptial agreement because that means the person isn't completely devoted and is already preparing for the worst. She thinks if you don't see yourself spending the rest of your life with the person without doubt why bother getting married.

I understand her line of reasoning completely but at the same time I'm conflicted. This wasn't a big argument or anything and they are still very happy together, and my son is completely ready to marry her without a prenuptial agreement regardless.

What do you think of prenuptial agreements?

[Deleted]

Get one.

Not thinking there is even a minute chance of the worst happening is foolish. If I become injured and an in a coma for a prolonged period of time (brain dead), I'd like my wife to be able to move on without any unnecessary complications.

A lot of people do the whole "true love means you don't need one", a Truce Scotsman argument. I'd rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.

[Deleted]

I think both sides have very valid points. All comes down to personalities really. What kind of prenup did he discuss? I see prenups as very simply matter of fact safty net. The simple fact is, shit happens, couples fall out, even the very certain ones. I'd hate to have a fortune going into a relationship and get double whammied on a POSSIBLE way out.

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Get one.

Not thinking there is even a minute chance of the worst happening is foolish. If I become injured and an in a coma for a prolonged period of time (brain dead), I'd like my wife to be able to move on without any unnecessary complications.

A lot of people do the whole "true love means you don't need one", a Truce Scotsman argument. I'd rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.

I think you are referring to a will and not a prenup in this case?

[Templar 331]

I can see it both ways. Why marry someone if you don't plan on spending the rest of your life with them? But on the other hand, if a divorce does occur he's going to be on the bad end of it.

[Deleted]

Entering a relationship where you have significant assets (This is relative to the person) and safeguarding them is smart.

Most relationships nowadays are, at best, going to have a slim chance of lasting longer than 10 years; Very few make it past 25.

It's a shame people take a dim view of being financially responsible in the face of soppy love, but your son is right in safeguarding his assets; Prenuptials also can be used to mandate a split if he wishes to avoid going to court and to make it quick and painless.

I'd love to say that relationships always last forever, and ever, and ever; But they don't, and the world can be cruel and loves to fuck the naive.

[Rukentuts]

Divorce rate is 50%. It isn't a foolish thing to have in this day.

[Blueobelisk]

As I said in that thread about the guy whose wife gives 20% of their income to charity: if you ain't no punk, holla we want prenup.

I'd never get married without a prenup. Even if the girl was richer than me. Unless she was like. Bill Gates daughter or something.

[Deleted]

I think both sides have very valid points. All comes down to personalities really. What kind of prenup did he discuss? I see prenups as very simply matter of fact safty net. The simple fact is, shit happens, couples fall out, even the very certain ones. I'd hate to have a fortune going into a relationship and get double whammied on a POSSIBLE way out.

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I think you are referring to a will and not a prenup in this case?

Living will aside, if they wished to divorce me while I'm in a coma etc. I'd like it to be a simple process.

[Hyve]

Both are right, technically speaking.

His Girlfriend is right to think that, because if you are planning for the worst, then why are you getting married? At the same time, it's stupid to pretend bad things don't happen and plans change.

[Reeve]

Always IMO. If I ever find myself in a serious long term relationship I think may end in marriage, I'll try to seed the idea in her head early that I believe in always getting a pre-nup, always, regardless of how much you believe in forever.

[Pitkanen]

If you have property/capital going in, or they do, get a prenup.
If you have debt, or they do, get a prenup.
Inheritance and pretty much all assets gained while married is going to be fair game in divorce court regardless of the prenup most likely from what I've read.

Demanding no pre-nup would be a non-starter from me, but I have a small block of family land, surrounded by extended family land, that no "wife of 1-9.99 years" is going to pry away from me (then most likely ransom back to me).

[Kaykay]

Depends on their personal situations. If they are about equal in what they bring to the household, it doesn't matter quite as much. Since they are both investing the same.

If one or the other bring in alot of debt while the other has a significant savings or a great paying job, that's an unbalance that is hard to ignore. I would even go so far as to say, it would be almost insulting to insinuate that this difference is meaningless.

It's a tightrope between the fact that it is extremely uncharming to appear greedy, but at the same time, you didn't spend all your studies and hard work just to get guilted into giving it away.

Where i come from women work as much as men, so things might be different if one of the two has no income, due to societaly expectations and not choice.

Ideally both parties would have an income, living expenses are shared. And everything from there is just pampering and gift giving

Nothing worse than feeling guilted into giving a "gift", which a highly uneven marriage is.

[Deleted]

Always. I would never even consider marrying anyone without setting up a prenup first. I think it's foolish not to.

[diddle]

if you ain't no punk, holla we want prenup.

I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger. They both have jobs, he does make a bit more than her though just because he was raised with the same "breadwinner" mentality that I was.

[Mehrunes]

"I don't intend to get injured or die in an accident. Hence, insurance is pointless. Hurr." That's the same logic as the argument against prenup given here. You get it because bad shit happens. In terms of divorce rates and longevity of marriages these days, shit happens a lot. It's irresponsible to not protect yourself financially in the chance of a divorce. The one earning more is already going to be fucked with the 5 meter dildo of alimony anyway.

If you have property/capital going in, or they do, get a prenup.
If you have debt, or they do, get a prenup.
Inheritance and pretty much all assets gained while married is going to be fair game in divorce court regardless of the prenup most likely from what I've read.

That depends. Country laws, in terms of US and other federations also state laws. Depending where you live you can also have a wide range of movement in creating the prenup itself.

[Kathandira]

I feel that anyone who declines the agreement, is the one who expects the worst and wants to be sure they can get the upper hand when the time comes.

If you are 100% devoted to the relationship, you should not be concerned, and therefore the agreement would just be a formality.

[Daws]

You buy car insurance in case you get in a crash.

You buy house insurance in case your robbed or the house is damaged.

These are events which may never happen but if they do you'll want the protection they provide so why wouldn't you want a prenup?

Also big advantage a prenup can prevent your other half or you from turning into a vindictive SOB should a divorce occur, better to work out the what if rather than the now I'm going to make you suffer.

[Fugus]

I am an avid believer in the Prenub.

Even if you are 100% devoted to the relationship and fully expect it to last the lifetime, unless you are going into it with nothing, it is always a good thing to have. Because if, by some chance, your relationship fails with you on bad terms, as a man, you are on the bad end of a lot of hurt when she is out for blood.

And looking at the divorce rate, your chances of being among them are pretty significant and I have seen some good girls go vicious in that court room between getting half the stuff, possible child support or heaven help you, Alimony, one of the biggest BS things on the planet since women have joined the work force.

Let alone the girls who go for the guy because he his money or is in the Military for access to the benefits.

If she isn't willing to marry him with a Prenub, evidently she doesn't love him too much. Either it lasts and the Prenub is useless or it doesn't and they have that to fall back on. To force him to go in without it is to force him to her mercy on the way out.

[Deleted]

Its a practical 'just-in-case' safeguard, why wouldn't you have extinguishers even tough you're pretty sure your house won't catch fire?

[the game]

IMO marriage isn't worth it these days. lately til death do you part seems to mean for 5 years and the couple doesn't want to work through problems in the marriage. There's rarely goo dedication loyally to a marriage anymore. So yeah I agree with the prenup.