Most embarrassing stories you have ever heard?

[ChipsAhoyHoesAndABoy]

Title says it all, want to know some embarrassing stories

[Deleted]

I once walked around College with my fly undone and people could admire my lovely bright pink boxers, it was only when i was safely at home that i realized i'd walked around for a good few hours baring my underwear.

(It was only like an inch or so open, but when it's bright pink against dark jeans...)

Worst i have...

[Honeybear]

My brother peed himself on the train on the way back from Disneyland, and a trickle of urine moved slowly down the train, disgusting the passengers who were sat on the floor because there was no room XD

[Deleted]

My brother got his pants pulled down during squash (the sport where you hit a ball against a wall) to expose his underwear.

he wasn't wearing any though...

Also, Honeybear, that story just gets better and better the more you read of it.

[lazypeon100]

When I was 15, the new smash bros/wii had just come out. I was so excited for it, was playing online with friends (yay friend codes I guess?), and while I sat on the arm of our leather couch (instead on the damned thing itself) I somehow managed to slide off, fall down and hit the coffee table on my way down. The fall also managed to break my arm. I can't think of anyone else in who is able to say they broke their arm playing video games.

[May90]

Once in a high school, when I moved to a new school, I mistook a women restroom with a men restroom. Also the locks on all doors were all broken. So I'm sitting there, doing my thing, and then hear two girls enter the restroom. I am like, "WTF?!", but I am in the middle of the process and cannot do anything, so I hope they don't notice me. Suddenly the door blasts open, a girl walks in, but she doesn't look in my direction, she looks at her friend and continues talking to her. Then she bumps right into me, sitting there with my pants down...

DANG!

[Auxis]

I work in a fruit and veg department. We can sell whole watermelons, customers just need to ask a worker to get one for them because they are out back and not on display. A customer asks if we have any whole watermelons because he wanted one in a few days. I told him yes, and he just needs to ask so someone can go get it for him on the day. For some reason, he proceeds to tell me that it's for his friend. I tell him again, that he just needs to ask and someone can get it for him, as I sort of don't know how to respond and I kind of have work to do. He then tells me it's for his friends birthday, and at this point I don't know what else I can do other than be polite.

Then he says its a racist birthday present for his friend because he's black. And at that point I'm like "uhhhhh...". I was feeling a bit embarrassed/shocked, as there were a few other customers around. I quickly told him the same "ask someone when you come in" thing, said goodbye and went on my way out back.

Sort of had to take a moment to compose myself after that.
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Also: A few years ago I was in Queensland with my mum visiting our relatives. It was just me, mum, and my 2 cousins (girl cousin who is in her early 20s, and her teenage brother) sitting at the table playing cards of some sort. I'm sitting on one side of the table with my mother, and the cousins are across the table. Mother is texting, and we are doing whatever we were doing with the cards. Suddenly, mum passes me her mobile, and tries to indicate for me to read the text. The text was roughly along the lines of "ur flys undun". Now, I had literally no idea what the heck it was indicating for whatever reason, so I decided to do the next best thing and read it out loud...

[Forumchibi]

Not as good as some of the other stories here, but what the hey.

Back when I was in college living in an off-campus house, I had my house key and my personal room key on the same lanyard keychain, and usually locked my door when I was going out. Around that time we were having an ant problem in the kitchen next to the entryway, and so I came home one day, saw more ants, and immediately grabbed the vacuum cleaner.

The next thing I know, the vacuum is making a strange grinding noise, I smell smoke, and immediately turn it off and open the front door to vent the room. I run upstairs to my room to get my large fan to help blow the smoke smell out, and of course, my door is locked... but my keys are missing.

I go back downstairs - nope, didn't leave them in the door, but I had just used them when I came back home. Not on the floor or ground inside or outside. I decide to look for them later after I figure out why the vacuum was about to explode.

I turn the unit over, and wrapped around the bottom brushes of the vacuum cleaner is my lanyard with my keys. Whoops.

Also, one of my roommates slept through the vacuum, the screaming, and the running up and down stairs to my room like a mad man. I didn't think at that point that anyone was even home at the time, but he emerged from his room a couple of hours later half asleep, and never even realized I almost caused a fire.

[Auxis]

That reminds me. My parents were away for the week for their anniversary, and they were coming home this particular day. There was a frozen chocolate chip muffin in the freezer, and I thought "Oh, I'll have that!". Put it in the microwave and cooked it for 2 minutes, without even thinking. I went outside, got the mail, brought in the bins, and when I came into the house the kitchen was filling up with smoke. The muffin was charred to the nines, and smoking from the center. I tried to cover up the smell with Glen20, but apparently the burning scent gets burnt into microwaves.

[Nihilan]

The greentext stories from /b/.

Yes they are fake, but many of them are so hilariously awkward that i cant help but cringe when reading them.

However, they are absolutely not for the faint of heart or the easily offended. Special Snowflakes need not apply.