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  1. #1

    You ever just feel like your life has just been kind of a waste of breath?

    So, I was reading a post on reddit earlier, about peoples' "Truth-of-Dare stories". And it really got me thinking... my life has really been just completely and utterly meaningless. I've never even just "had fun" before.

    I'm always "the responsible one", even when I was a teenager. I was the person who people liked hanging out with, and could always count on, but never got invited to parties, to the movies... The moment I wasn't of use, I just ceased to exist to people, including my own "friends" (none of whom I've stayed in contact with). I was always nervous around girls to begin with (namely because I didn't go to school until high-school; long story), and never being involved in anything just made high-school a hellish experience.

    Thing is, I guess I hadn't really thought about it in a while, but things haven't really gotten any better. I'm 26 now, and I've never so much as *held hands* with a girl, let alone share a kiss or have sex with. I mean, it definitely used to be my appearance; I was really overweight, and only started really focusing on taking care of myself fairly recently. But honestly, I don't even know that I'm the kind of person now who can even *have* fun.

    To put things into perspective, the last time I actually "celebrated" my birthday was about three years ago, when I turned 23. Well, the night basically went that I got to have a single drink before realizing that all of my "friends" were getting hammered, so I wound up having to spend the night taking care of them, before finally driving them all home. Since then, I've moved away, and cut all ties to anyone I used to know, save for my immediate family.

    I wish I could say things felt like they were getting better; I mean, I'm dieting, working out, looking to go back to college soon, but I just feel like I'm just destined to never be "happy". At the age I'm at now, everyone is kind of settled into their lives and looking for stability, but all that's going through my mind is "Why didn't *I* ever get to have fun? Why didn't I get to just 'enjoy life' and sleep around"?

    Right now, my future is basically looking like "Try to get a stable job, and then just do that until you die". I don't know anybody, I'm not charismatic or confident enough to go out and make new friends, and I'm definitely not good-looking enough to just ask a stranger out. The past ten years of my life has been a waste, and I'm even less optimistic about the next ten.

    I'm sorry for typing all of that shit out, it's just not something I normally think about. I've grown so content to just being isolated to my own little world, that I never inconvenience anyone else, that I feel like I've become a zombie. Just... empty and hollow. I've spent so much of my life alone, I just don't think I'm even capable of fixing whatever's wrong with me now.

  2. #2
    The Unstoppable Force Super Kami Dende's Avatar
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    Maybe get off internet forums, stop playing games and go socialize? Most of your issues you just described are easily fixable by YOU and no one else.
    To say you don't think you are capable of just changing things in your own life means you have given up without trying.
    Stop being a Debbie-downer and look for the positive things you COULD have in life, constantly just sitting around going "OH WOE IS ME" will not change things.

  3. #3
    Merely a Setback Kaleredar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bovinity Divinity View Post

    That and maybe see a professional. It sounds like you're heavily depressed.
    I'm going to echo this sentiment. You'll find much more constructive advice from a professional than from an internet forum.
    “Do not lose time on daily trivialities. Do not dwell on petty detail. For all of these things melt away and drift apart within the obscure traffic of time. Live well and live broadly. You are alive and living now. Now is the envy of all of the dead.” ~ Emily3, World of Tomorrow
    Quote Originally Posted by Wells View Post
    Kaleredar is right...
    Words to live by.

  4. #4
    Warchief Tucci's Avatar
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    Whenever you feel like your life is meaningless just remember this...

    The odds of you being who you are, what you are, where you are in the UNIVERSE, where you are on earth, in the time you are are basically impossible. People never think of this and they take it all for granted. You have to stop and think about it once in a while and you have to realize that there isn't a single person on the planet that has control over your life but you. If you want to be happy, you have to go make yourself happy. I fully, 100% understand, trust me, I do. But there's a lot of time to change and to grow. Your mind will change and then your life will change. But you have to make it happen. A lot of people tell me they can't do something because of their job, their friends, family, life in general...it's bull. You can do anything you damn well please, maybe it's not easy but you always have that option.

    http://visual.ly/what-are-odds

    That actually doesn't even factor in a lot of other things.
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  5. #5
    I guess that's just kind of it. "Go socialize"... I don't even know what that entails, what it even means. Go sit at a bar by myself, and just hope someone sits close enough that I can force myself into conversation with them? That seems rude, and kind of pathetic. Like I said, I've cut all ties with previous friends and most of my family, so it's not like there's some gathering of people I might know happening.

    I dunno, maybe I'm just better off just trying to push all of that stuff from my mind again. Maybe there's just something 'broken' with me now, because I don't even feel like trying anymore. I used to be such a bleeding heart when I was younger, the complete, sappy romantic. Now, I can't even remember what it was like to have butterflies in my stomach when I think about someone.

  6. #6
    My advice, go talk to someone....getting advice online from all of us is nice and all but sounds like you might have a little depression. The only thing I would stress to you is, don't worry about being something you're not, worry about being who you are, be honest with your self and remember to keep your head up, at least your not in Iraq or N.Korea starving to death or being shot to death....life could always be a lot worse...

    Oh and as far as girls, you have plenty of time, you'll find someone someday. =) I didn't get married and have kids till I was 31 years old....
    Last edited by Kickrockz; 2014-08-15 at 06:26 AM.

  7. #7
    Deleted
    I think many more people than you would imagine have felt like that at some point. I just remember the good times I've had, and try to ensure I have more of them. We don't necessarily need our purpose to be revealed to us, just enjoy the time you have, it's limited.

    Also, don't measure yourself against others, this will be incredibly hard and require a great deal of thought, but think about what you want, think about what would make you happy, identify what is making you unhappy, and from there, take baby steps to fixing the problem.
    Last edited by mmoc2aff718493; 2014-08-15 at 06:34 AM.

  8. #8
    Herald of the Titans BarelyLegalBear's Avatar
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    Just remember, you're not the only having issues. I see that you may be going through a rough patch in life i understand what you're going through. I went through kind of a similar experience but i don't suffer from anything at all. Even thought i am 18 and what you're about to read might make you cry.
    I wrote this 2 years ago: https://answers.yahoo.com/question/i...4133245AA9Gwpy
    Now this is me back when i was clueless about that so called word "life". I was completely lonely, felt like i HAD no one there for me. Part of my family sided against me at a point in time. My problem was that i lacked any sort of confidence and i felt that life was not worth living at all because i hadn't experienced what others went through. After that post, sometime in November of 2012 i went to a mental facility and i kid you not, there were crazy ass people there. I was just a wee bit scared but you wouldn't believe what i did. I was bad as hell, i had a roommate and we would somehow scare the kids by making coyote noises. I was messing with the doctors and i was active as hell in there. I met people that actually tried to kill themselves. One dude i met was about to hang himself, when luckily someone came out and saw him then proceeded to save his life. Let me tell you something though, i thought i wanted to kill myself because i sat at a lunch table myself however there was a cafeteria full of people waiting for me to meet them. I was never suicidal, i was lonely and that suicidal phase i pulled off kind of ruined my chances for the military (have to wait 5 years) and it was ALL for attention. My stupid ass ruined my own life.
    Then a year later i post this:https://answers.yahoo.com/question/i...6161103AADEjKP
    I know you may think this stuff has nothing to do with the thread but it will all add up in the end. I'm currently 18 years old and i am going to fucking college NEXT Tuesday. Look HOW far i made it into life. That little stunt i pulled may have been a setback but it did not stop me from getting my diploma.
    Sometimes i have considered life to be pointless but why not give my life a reason to be worth living. I have the power in my hand to do just about whatever i want to do in life. I've considered Law Enforcement and i've actually been thinking about giving the Coast Guard a try. I want to save people for a living, however i want to be the one outside doing all the saving.

    Life is full of obstacles, we may fall every now and again but it is something worth living. Life may feel like complete hell to you but it really isn't. You just haven't had a good taste of it. There is a woman out there for you just like there is one for me. I lack A LOT of confidence but does that stop me from trying? No, it simply shows that i need to get up, go outside, stand up tall, look that pretty girl in the face and tell her, "Woah, you have big tits, errr i mean a beautiful smile! My name is Steven, what is yours?"

    This is your wake up call. Life is not a waste of breath. It is worth every single little breath we take. You will find something that makes you happy, you will find a job, you will live a stable life, etc. You just need to get up and realize that we are not worthless. We overcome so many things in life but i know you will make it. I believe you have a greater purpose than you think. You are a wonderful person to me, now you just have to believe in yourself and you should be on your way to a greater life. You are destined to be something, you just have to put a litttle effort into it. I sit in my room everyday, isolated from the real world. I want to go out but i have literally no friends yet i live life to the fullest without ANY regrets. I did my part, now its your turn!

  9. #9
    Great people like T.S. Eliot didn't score until 26 too.
    Stability is a lie.

  10. #10
    Deleted
    Well, the only "meaning" your life has comes from what you attribute to it. We have no "meaning" or "fate" or "purpose" given to us either by some so-called intelligence or "creator", nor by nature. We're simply here until we are no more.

    What exists once you have died and no longer exist yourself is completely and utterly meaningless from your point of view; your point of view will have stopped. There won't be your point of view at that point.

    Hence, what you've done, what you "leave behind" is basically, when you understand all of the above, completely meaningless. If you, right now, feel like you should "make the world a better place", or leave something for your loved ones, then that only has meaning for you right now. If you can't live without doing any of that, then by all means, seek a way to do so. However, if you truly take off the blinders, you'll come to the realization that once you die, it's all pointless.

    This is why you shouldn't worry about what your life will "amount to". There won't be any "summation" after your death, nor any judgement. How people will remember you is irrelevant, as at that point the world won't exist, because you won't exist. It's hard for people to get this, because they keep looking at themselves through other peoples' eyes constantly, and they keep on doing so beyond the point when they themselves stop existing.

    Just live every moment the way that moment feels good to be lived, and at the most, plan for the near future; don't make plans for the end of your life, and especially don't make plans for other people for once you've stopped existing, unless the satisfaction of such faux altruism is something you truly crave and need.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    At the age I'm at now, everyone is kind of settled into their lives and looking for stability, but all that's going through my mind is "Why didn't *I* ever get to have fun? Why didn't I get to just 'enjoy life' and sleep around"?
    Typically because the people who did those sorts of irrational thrill-seeking activities wound up teen pregnant, broke, or dead by your age.

    Quote Originally Posted by Claymore View Post
    I'm sorry for typing all of that shit out, it's just not something I normally think about. I've grown so content to just being isolated to my own little world, that I never inconvenience anyone else, that I feel like I've become a zombie. Just... empty and hollow. I've spent so much of my life alone, I just don't think I'm even capable of fixing whatever's wrong with me now.
    I suppose surrounding yourself with a small body of peers could help. The important thing is finding meaning and purpose in your own actions. Have you considered doing some volunteer work on the side? Worst case scenario you walk away with a bit of extra polish on your resume, best case scenario you meet someone new and get that feeling of doing something new and worthwhile you clearly crave.
    Quote Originally Posted by Aucald View Post
    Having the authority to do a thing doesn't make it just, moral, or even correct.

  12. #12
    You need high self-esteem. So you need to improve yourself. Focus on the things that make you different instead of avoiding them. Be the best at something, even if it doesn't matter and nobody knows about it. Then, be the best at some other thing. And another. You will slowly see your self-esteem raising.
    Girls are not a problem. If you lack experience, start hitting on ugly/fat ones. They are not easier, but you will not see them as threatening so you will be more confident and you will have a higher success rate. After you achieve some success, you will have more confidence and this won't be a problem anymore.

  13. #13
    Deleted
    Stop being emo, turn of the computer and go outside.

  14. #14
    I'm pretty satisfied with my life tbh, it's way above good enough. I'm not a millionare nor do I get to fuck Mirranda Kerr on a daily basis, but I got a place to stay, got food everyday, I get to play PC games and I have some sort of social life with coworkers, people at the gym and friends/family.

    I highly recommend going to the gym, it will significantly improve you as a person, also if that is not your ball game, you can try bicycling, it has exploded in popularity in Norway at least and there is like 10-15 competitions you can enter every season, ranging from 50km til 600km, but mostly around 50-100km area.
    As far as gym goes, you will quickly notice that you will get attention from girls after a while, simply by being in there, just give it your 100% and it will show.

  15. #15
    Banned Video Games's Avatar
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    Literally everyday. Thank god for games and anime.

  16. #16
    Merely a Setback breadisfunny's Avatar
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    i feel like that everyday.
    r.i.p. alleria. 1997-2017. blizzard ruined alleria forever. blizz assassinated alleria's character and appearance.
    i will never forgive you for this blizzard.

  17. #17
    Titan draykorinee's Avatar
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    No, I have 'wasted' some of my life, and I would change things, but I'm married with 2 kids and have a career in nursing so, certainly nothing wasted long term. I wake up every day knowing my place in history as a nobody, but the hope that my kids will grow up to be decent human beings and procreate is enough to suffice a feeling of satisfaction.

  18. #18
    I used to feel like that - and then I discovered purpose and reasoning, 2 goals worth pursuing. Hell, its even worth your lives.

    I think we've all taken materialist viewpoint of our lives, never taking into consideration other things, like spirituality (not religion mind you), hope, and resilience. I often live my life understanding that negativity persists - but it is how we react to it, that defines our life, how we cope and such. Bemoaning a bad situation is futile - rather, take it as a learning experience, and learn to avoid it when you can (that is, if the option is available, otherwise, you're going to have bite the bullet).

    The best counter to malaise (which is what you're essentially describing, or depression), is to have a sense of purpose, a sense of appreciation for oneself that isn't derived from others, but created through acceptance for who you are, and the strength to (dare I say?) love yourself, despite the flaws you may have.

    After all, when everything is gone, you have yourself for consolation. And that's more than enough to rebound from these funks.
    Whoever loves let him flourish. / Let him perish who knows not love. / Let him perish twice who forbids love. - Pompeii

  19. #19
    Fluffy Kitten Yvaelle's Avatar
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    Things for you to do:

    1. Go outside, take walks or run or bike or something - mixing up your routine alone is worthwhile - but exercise will get you in shape - and produce dopamine. It sounds dumb, but it's true - it will improve your mood, your attractiveness, and your self-confidence.

    2. Spend a night this weekend 'being' the friends you envy for having fun - go to a club or whatever you feel you missed out on, have some drinks, dance, talk to people - make some friends - if you feel social anxiety coming on - remember that you are not you - you are your friend from highschool or w/e that always had fun while you were trying to be responsible. Be irresponsible - not forever, nobody likes those people in the end - but have some of those experiences so you can move on with your life without regret. They get boring and repetitive fast.

    3. Consider professional counselling - most of the time its you talking to yourself and solving your own problems - but they are there to listen and to push you in the right directions, and they do it well.

    4. Figure out what matters to you, not your friends or family or etc - and make yourself happy - regardless of what that requires (except harming others, obviously). For me, I like video games - I like reading, I like staying awake until the sunrise, and running around like a ninja in the park - at night - while listening to metal, or industrial, or future music. Some people think those are weird hobbies - but their opinions don't matter, what matters is that that's what I enjoy - and it's what I do with my time. I don't like clubbing, I don't like ball sports, and I don't like beaches - I like good conversations over wine/beer though - sometimes at pubs, and I like snowboarding and wakeboarding, and I like warm rain and cool nights.

    Life is about figuring out your own shit, for yourself, and doing what you need to do to make yourself happy - other people aren't going to do it for you - and it's different for everyone. Maybe you like taking baths - cool - accept that about yourself, and turn it into an art-form: figure out the best bubble bath stuff, and the best candles, and the best lighting and music - and commit yourself to being yourself.

    Sometimes, after figuring out who you are, what you enjoy, and what you need to do to make the life you want happen - you will encounter people who think that you are pretty cool, and want to hang around you - cherish those people (if you also think they are cool) - sometimes it won't work out, they want to be someone you don't like - or vice versa - and you go your own way. Don't change yourself for others, or you won't end up liking yourself - but hopefully, if you meet the right people - you won't ask them to change, and they won't ask you to change - and you will have found real friends/loves.

    That's how to do life properly, IMO
    Last edited by Yvaelle; 2014-08-15 at 08:09 AM.
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  20. #20
    OP, i'm pretty sure that in your current state you could really use some outside help. What i mean is, you need to seek help of 2 professionals - psychologist and psychiatrist.

    First, it's very hard for you right now to perform any steps of improving your life by yourself, so psychologist might help you with that by "forcing" you to start doing little steps one by one, helping you along the way and controlling your results (no matter if the results are positive or negative, in any case you get experience which is most important).

    Second, it's very likely that you are in depression which is slowing you down greatly. This is where psychiatrist comes in - he will appoint the right meds for you so you can start to feel better. This will greatly help you in your work with psychologist. It's important to note, however, that the meds don't start to work right from the beginning - they need to "accumulate" in your system for some time to take effect, so don't give up on them and be patient.

    I hope this helps.

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