Applying to grad school....

[calinass]

I still cant tell you what kind of job I want to be in, in 20 years. I want to be working in a lab, in chemistry. Which means that yes, I could be going into industry now, working a 9-5 job. But I know myself and I dont want to do that quite yet. I worked a retail job before that was about the same (10-6, left around 6:30) and that kind of pressure to be social and selling was not what I wanted and left a bad taste in my mouth. So yes, I could go to industry, Im just hesitant about it. That leaves grad school. I could get a masters or a PhD, and from what I have been told by other grad students is that people kind of look at Masters as a failed PhD....which in some cases is true, some not. Its a stereotype.

I enjoy school. I've enjoyed learning, Ive enjoyed being busy. Without schoolwork in the summer I feel bored. On break, I feel bored. It gives me something to do and I love that feeling. So if we extend that for another 2-5 years, I would not mind that at all. Im iffy about being a TA, because I know how hard it is for me to explain things. So I'm super iffy on that.....and I know that my first year will be more or less me taking a couple classes and me TAing.

Honestly? If I was to pick the two options right now, I feel like grad school is the better choice for me. I said better, not best...because I still dont know what the best choice is for me. I know my goal is to ultimately be doing something chemistry related, but beyond that I dont know.

[Monkk]

Hi, a bit of rambling thought to follow, but hopefully it helps.

I got my PhD several years ago in Biology (a hard science, so maybe more applicable to chemistry than other areas discussed here). Due to other opportunities that arose for me, I actually switched gears into healthcare, but I have just a couple of points you should consider.

I would suggest as others have to think seriously about where you want to be in 5, 10, 20, etc years. Of course professionally but also personally. If you mentioned your age I didn't catch it, but think about what you want in family, location, free time, etc. Science (especially academic science) can be incredibly rewarding for the right type of person, but it is also incredibly demanding. The small-ish number of open positions, combined with international competition, means that schools can be very choosy with who they hire as faculty. Everyone I know that has been successful has been more or less passionate about the field, or at least very dedicated. Even liberal arts colleges nowadays are requiring a not insignificant research program of their faculty with undergrads. Most especially in the successful research 1 schools (think the big state or ivy league schools) where most of the research is done, if you aren't absolutely myopic and almost obsessively passionate, don't consider it.

Also think about whether you'd like to teach more, do more primary research, or just use it as a springboard into some part of industry, because that will determine what questions you pursue and the course of your grad career.

You should most likely in a hard science be paid through a research or teaching assistantship (I would be surprised if anything else was expected of you in the US), so criticisms about money aren't valid, unless of course you are passing up other opportunities, or need to make better money for some reason. Just don't divide your pay by the number of hours you will put in, because fast food work might start to appeal to you. But, even with this, if you are single, young, and responsible, you should break even on the deal.

All this being said, I had an absolute blast in my PhD because of the people and the generally progressive environment. Which leads me to my last comment, which is that you should also look hard and ask many questions of what you want/expect so you can ask those questions of the professors you talk to and their lab minions. I was able to rotate through 3 different labs my first year and make my decision after, which might not be possible for everyone, but I do know that the right personal/professional fit between faculty and grad students, and between the grad students, can absolutely make or break your experience.

Finally, just remember that probably 2/3 of success is showing up. Be intelligent with your hours, and if you go the grad route, always keep your eyes on the prize, and keep working on publishing and finishing your dissertation. Entirely too many people procrastinate for literally years in grad school and end up spending years longer to get less done than they could have. No one is necessarily going to push you, you are expected to push yourself.

Edit:
Just read your last post, and don't make the mistake of considering grad school a continuation of undergrad. Your goal is a long-term product (dissertation), not a grade or learning a concept, but actually taking a body of knowledge, digesting it, and doing something real with it. While you might take classes and ta or whatever your first couple of years, your real work SHOULD be to read the literature like a fiend to be able to plan a project that you can then start on in earnest in year 2-3. Grad school is not a continuation of school, it is a full to overtime job that will for the most part dominate your life, with time limit and a degree tacked on the end of it. Even the dissertation is secondary, publication is king. Publications in good journals, and how you can get there and contribute, should always be in your mind. It's great and can be a blast for what it is, but publication is what it's all about.

[calinass]

I cant seem to imagine myself anywhere in 5, 10, 20 years. I really cant. Is that my biggest problem out of anything else? I dont think I am interested in being a faculty. I dont want to write grants all day, because that just seems stressful. How I understand is that post-docs and professors are grant machines to get tenure, once they get tenure they still have to produce a lot of grants. I dont know how hard grant writing is but it doesnt seem that fun.

I dont know what you mean by primary research, but I know if I get my PhD I have either the option to be faculty, or like you said, spring myself into some industry work.

What do you mean by look at what I want and expect out of PhD/grad school? I Like, what the grad school expects of ME?

I feel like if I have the drive to get a BS degree when I failed at it before, I have the potential drive to get a PhD or masters. Will the professors help with the dissertation in the sense that they will give me some ideas on what to do?

I really dont know who I can talk to, or if Im asking myself the right questions when I come to grad school. Ultimately I dont know. Thats the thing. I just dont know, and I hate saying that.

[Monkk]

Not knowing I think is fine, don't get down on yourself in any way for that. Keep in mind, though, that you inherently focus very intensely on a very small area of one specific field (chemistry) and a small set of questions by committing yourself to graduate work. So while not knowing is absolutely fine, many of us don't at various times, I think committing yourself to a long term course of action that will narrowly focus your energies at the same time might not be ideal. If you are just getting done with your bs, maybe consider working for a few years? Take anything I say with a grain (or a whole shaker) of salt as I don't have a lot of information and I don't know you well, but there is nothing wrong with working either. I actually worked in an unrelated field for 3 years before going back to graduate school, and wasn't any worse off for it, maybe even better off in some ways.

Working in the field might provide you with more insight into what area you would like to focus on, and might even provide you with outside funding or some sort of direction after the degree, although I don't know the chemistry field and how things work specifically.

Don't look at grad school (or any job for that matter) as a 1-way street. Of course you are looking for a job and a paycheck, and they are looking for an employee, but to the extent you can, think of what you want out of it and don't be afraid to ask, think of it as a partnership.

Are there any professors that you like/respect from your undergrad? I'm sure most would be happy to talk to you, maybe put out feelers with a short email message, and you can schedule a time to talk to them in person. I think talking to professionals in the field might benefit you, and most people are very open to talking about this stuff. Even if you just pick a couple faculty out of the campus chemistry directory, you might get better information than from any of us.