Straight single guys that refuse sex or even a kiss from an attractive girl.

[Noomz]

So what do you think of straight guys that refuse sex?

That they've got dignity.
They're expected to be like that becaue of the patriarchy. Yeah that word probably just scared you, but it's true.

[Temp name]

He's allowed to do whatever he wants.. If that doesn't involve kissing someone, then good for him. Personally, I wouldn't have done it either.

[Graeham]

That they've got dignity.
They're expected to be like that becaue of the patriarchy. Yeah that word probably just scared you, but it's true.

What do you mean by 'patriarchy'?

When I was growing up and as a teenager it was often women trying to get me to kiss them rather then other guys trying to encourage me to do it. I found it pretty uncomfortable since I didn't want to kiss some of them even if we were friends. Granted, I'm only 'half straight' as a bisexual guy but still.

[Ayporos]

Just because you're a straight guy, doesn't mean you have to fuck everything that moves. It's stupid stories like this, and the bullshit standards of society, which is the reason why I hate everything.

[Speedlance]

It was expected that a guy would automaticly do it, which is wrong. I personally wouldn't, however my friends know my well enough to not put me in that situation, they know where I stand. I need to almost love a girl before I kiss her, why else would I need to kiss her?

[Deleted]

It's normal for a man (especially a young man in his "prime") to be hungry for sex constantly. But normal doesn't necessarily mean it is right in all situations. Although I personally don't understand his views, it would be no reason to harass him.

Yes, maybe he have a female friend who is on the threshold to become his girlfriend, and he do not want to jeopardize the relation by have some one night stand necking/sex with some unknown girl, and feel its arrogant to say I have a girlfriend before she is it

"

[Selah]

Good on him for not wanting herpes. Not sure why anyone cares, guys are not driven by sex alone.

[Lady Dragonheart]

Honestly, if a guy didn't want to kiss me on the preference of wanting to know me first... I could respect that. Yeah, it would feel backhanded even if it was what he truly felt, but it would peak my interest in him.

My husband was like this, so I understand. Several girls in college tried some daring things to sleep with him or taste his lips, so to speak, but he was apparently quite earnest in wanting to experience love with the passion of sex and/or intimacy (kissing being the subject). In all honesty, it feels like a dream how I managed to snag him from what his lady friends have told me...

[Tankitbetter]

That they've got dignity.
They're expected to be like that becaue of the patriarchy. Yeah that word probably just scared you, but it's true.

v
Clearly the patriarchy.

Not the female in the story who threw a tantrum.

[May90]

First world problems... I think all 3 sides acted foolish here. The guy was stupid for refusing a simple kiss, the girl was stupid for taking the refusal so seriously, and the public was stupid for telling the guy what he "should" have done.

As for the sex one, it's actually very funny and double-standarded. A guy asking an attractive girl for sex will be shunned by everyone as acting inappropriately. Yet, if a girl asks him for sex and he refuses it, again, he is criticized for not delivering what he is supposed to deliver to the girl. It is as if females were fully entitled to choose guys to have sex with while they had to just wait to be picked and had no right to refuse.

[notorious98]

So what do you think of straight guys that refuse sex?

The same thing I think about straight girls that refuse sex. They're not interested or attracted or a multitude of other reasons. At least he didn't succumb to peer pressure to do something he didn't feel comfortable doing. Good for him.

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First world problems... I think all 3 sides acted foolish here. The guy was stupid for refusing a simple kiss, the girl was stupid for taking the refusal so seriously, and the public was stupid for telling the guy what he "should" have done.

As for the sex one, it's actually very funny and double-standarded. A guy asking an attractive girl for sex will be shunned by everyone as acting inappropriately. Yet, if a girl asks him for sex and he refuses it, again, he is criticized for not delivering what he is supposed to deliver to the girl. It is as if females were fully entitled to choose guys to have sex with while they had to just wait to be picked and had no right to refuse.

Simple for you, perhaps. Maybe not as simple for him. Just because you see it as harmless doesn't mean he looks at it the same way. It doesn't make him foolish.

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What do you mean by 'patriarchy'?

When I was growing up and as a teenager it was often women trying to get me to kiss them rather then other guys trying to encourage me to do it. I found it pretty uncomfortable since I didn't want to kiss some of them even if we were friends. Granted, I'm only 'half straight' as a bisexual guy but still.

"Patriarchy" meaning the double standard set up for men and women in this case. If she had backed down and said no, nobody would be calling her a bitch or an asshole. But because he did it, that's what he is. Because he's "supposed to".

[Itisamuh]

I've refused both plenty of times, and I've been made fun of for it (by friends, nothing serious) but I can't recall ever being called a jerk over it.

[The Glitch]

Good for him, he shouldn't have to cave to peer pressure, nothing wrong with him for feeling like that, everyone's different, and should stand up for what they believe instead of falling into the normal stereotypes the world pushes on us.

[Graeham]

"Patriarchy" meaning the double standard set up for men and women in this case. If she had backed down and said no, nobody would be calling her a bitch or an asshole. But because he did it, that's what he is. Because he's "supposed to".

Ah, well there's definitely a double standard and lot of pressure for men to act in a very specific way when it comes to women so I'm in agreement.

[Krommm]

People expect you to let loose and if you don't you are immediately branded a loser or in this case, gay. With your example, I wouldn't have hesitated to make out with an attractive girl, but you have to give the guy props for taking some hate just for standing up for his beliefs. Not everyone is quite as easy as most of us.

Nothing wrong with the guy, he is just not conforming to society's peer pressure and indoctrination. Straight guys that refuse sex usually have good reasons to answer your question. Of course if you do anything outside of the norm, then you are immediately /insert negative branding term here.

[OreoLover]

patriarchy. Yeah that word probably just scared you

...see me tremble...

Really, that's repeating another negative expectation.

[De Lupe]

First world problems... I think all 3 sides acted foolish here. The guy was stupid for refusing a simple kiss, the girl was stupid for taking the refusal so seriously, and the public was stupid for telling the guy what he "should" have done.

As for the sex one, it's actually very funny and double-standarded. A guy asking an attractive girl for sex will be shunned by everyone as acting inappropriately. Yet, if a girl asks him for sex and he refuses it, again, he is criticized for not delivering what he is supposed to deliver to the girl. It is as if females were fully entitled to choose guys to have sex with while they had to just wait to be picked and had no right to refuse.

How is having personal standards high enough to not be intimate with a stranger stupid? I would have done the same thing as him.

I compliment him on not succumbing to the peer pressure of the group. If anything, they're the jerks for trying to make him feel like he did something wrong.

[Deleted]

Some people are shy and will never engage in kissing a stranger or having sex in public, even if they are among friends. You should never take someone by surprise with something like that.

[Priestiality]

As has been pointed out, people are different. I've only ever tried the "meaningless sex" thing once. It was awful. Being intimate with someone I love, or at least feel I could love if that makes sense, has always been better. Maybe it's just projection bias but I can't comprehend this whole "bro culture" of "fuck everything that moves and brag about how awesome and masculine I am while shunning the women that sleep with me as 'dumb whores'" thing. That type of behavior, to me, just screams that that person has serious self-esteem issues.

[Mihalik]

I'm a pretty get go guy, yet there have been quite a few cases when I dodged a kiss or more from a girl. Not necessarily because they weren't attractive, but either because I (ME) specifically wasn't attracted to that specific girl, because she was a friend or because while I was single at the time, I was very much into another girl.

That itself is not odd. The whole calling the guy a jerk is a bit too much tho.

(Actually something similar happened to me once, playing drinking games I was asked to kiss a very good female friend of mine, she at the moment being quite drunk was very much interested in doing so, it was quite hard to explain at the moment why I didn't want to do it, but pretty much everyone understood right away.)