The person above you critically fails the action he describes. What is the outcome?

[Pivotal]

I buy a new game off of steam.

You then subconsciously realize its steam winter sale. suddenly you have no money left and you'll never figure out why.

I'm going for an all-nighter before work.

[ghostkitteh]

Unfortunately, you just started your new job as an airplane pilot. You fall asleep, hitting your head on the controls so hard, autopilot fails. Your plane plummets to the ground, killing an innocent band of Christmas carolers.

I perform an ancient snow dance.

[Hellravager]

Unfortunately for you, the dance was actually for calling a meteor and luck was on your side that it actually worked, you have 5 minutes to live.

Preparing to go to sleep.

[Thorison]

Unfortunately for you, the dance was actually for calling a meteor and luck was on your side that it actually worked, you have 5 minutes to live.

Preparing to go to sleep.

You put on your best business suit instead of your pajamas and fall asleep in the bathtub.

I prepare to run a marathon.

[Tyrgannus]

You put on your best business suit instead of your pajamas and fall asleep in the bathtub.

I prepare to run a marathon.

You forgot to tape your nipples and they chafe to the point of bleeding.

I am checking my Facebook

[Thage]

You forgot to tape your nipples and they chafe to the point of bleeding.

I am checking my Facebook

You accidentally Like a picture in your crush's beach album, three years deep.

I order take-out.

[ghostkitteh]

Due to a complication in communications, you order so much food you go bankrupt, lose your job, and end up homeless.

I do jumping jacks.

[Televators]

I do jumping jacks.

As you land, your ankle breaks, exposing the bone. As you fall down, a toddler trips over you, landing face first on your exposed bone shard and is rushed to the hospital with a lacerated spleen. The parents break your other leg and while you lie helpless, an old homeless man pees on you and steals your phone.

I sat down to enjoy a dinner with my grandparents.

[Thorison]

I sat down to enjoy a dinner with my grandparents.

Your grandfather pulls the chair every time you attempt to sit down, utterly humiliating you.

I throw a snowball at a random person on the sidewalk.

[GennGreymane]

Your grandfather pulls the chair every time you attempt to sit down, utterly humiliating you.

I throw a snowball at a random person on the sidewalk.

Its Chuck Norris, we never hear from you again.

I am at the mall.

[Nalnik]

By sheer coincidence, you are dressed exactly the same as the performers in a flash mob. Not being in on it, your performance is noticeably poor. You are boo'd out of the mall and never can purchase what you went there for.

I program my thermostat.

[Doctor Amadeus]

By sheer coincidence, you are dressed exactly the same as the performers in a flash mob. Not being in on it, your performance is noticeably poor. You are boo'd out of the mall and never can purchase what you went there for.

I program my thermostat.

And it opens a portal to Jurassic Park


I make Banana bread.

[GennGreymane]

And it opens a portal to Jurassic Park


I make Banana bread.

Your boss makes a surprise visit and you offer a slice, it turns out your boss is allergic and they die, causing tons of legal turmoil since you may have been rumored to not like your boss.

I peel an orange

[zorkuus]

I peel an orange

Sauron awakens.

I buy a yacht.

[GennGreymane]

Sauron awakens.

I buy a yacht.

It turns out that your bought it on credit and your fortune had gone dry, you are now penniless and are still expected to pay for the yacht, you declare bankruptcy and begin your new life as a riff raff


I get a job as a lawyer

[Thorison]

I get a job as a lawyer

Due to a clerical error your payment for the Bar exam was never processed. Your license to practice Law is revoked, and your clients sue you for all your money.

I get a haircut at Supercuts.

[Sanctify]

I go take a shower.

You're ready to get into the shower, for some reason you undress before you're in the bathroom, you head in ready for that hot water to cleanse those tight knots in your muscles, so distracted by the relief you dont realize that someone is already in there, at this point you have already swung the shower curtain open to find your very obese, very hairy uncle occupying the shower. Only, hes not just showering.

I get a haircut at Supercuts.

You sit down in the barber chair, disgusted at the poor driving you witnessed on the trip to the Supercuts. You keep rambling on about how you dont know how the the idiots on the road today passed their driving tests, when you suddenly jerk you head to the right out of pure irritation. You find your nose in very large breasts, you feel immediate relief, great relief, infact you feel a little dizzy from the relief..You look up at a pair of confused and horrified blue eyes, realizing now you've indirectly stabbed yourself with barber scissors. You die.

I am about to discuss peace talks with the great Kim Jong Un.

[THE Bigzoman]

You are assassinated by a jelly Dennis Rodman for taking away what little relevance he has.

I'm walking into the club VIP.

[Doomchicken]

The club gets hit by a nuclear missile.

I'm currently sitting at my desk.

[GennGreymane]

The club gets hit by a nuclear missile.

I'm currently sitting at my desk.

You look at your desk to a picture of your family and realize how much of your life you are wasting at your office job. You decide to quit your office job and rush home to tell your wife, who is in bed with your best friend, Genn Greymane. Shocked, appalled, and betrayed you leave the country and move to Thailand where you have a good life for many years until you are greeted by a beautiful woman. You causally have conversation and get her phone number, you go on many dates and eventually marry. On your wedding day she tells you that she needs one thing from you, as you lift her wedding veil.

You say "anything".

She says "I need about 3 fiddy"

All of a sudden you realize that this beautiful woman was actually a 50 foot high dinosaur from the Mesozoic era.

That goddamn lochness monster struck again.





I am writing on MMO-Champion