Rise of the Feminist Tinder-Creep-Busting Web Vigilante

[Halyon]

You can't just accuse anyone of being a stalker just because you think they are.

I never did. Some of these men do this multiple times though, so if the same patterns show up over and over, there's something to it. Awareness isn't "AMAGAWD that guy is like nuclear waste, avoid at all costs AAAGGHHH!" and more like "Heads up, that guy might be batshit insane, employ caution" and i use 'guy' here for both men and women.

Sortof like a crowd-sourcing, and I see nothing wrong with that as a concept. There will be people who can do it properly, and others abuse it, like with every goddamned thing ever.

[Deleted]

She tries to play santa claus.

lol

I don't even know what to say.

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I never did. Some of these men do this multiple times though, so if the same patterns show up over and over, there's something to it. Awareness isn't "AMAGAWD that guy is like nuclear waste, avoid at all costs AAAGGHHH!" and more like "Heads up, that guy might be batshit insane, employ caution" and i use 'guy' here for both men and women.

Sortof like a crowd-sourcing, and I see nothing wrong with that as a concept. There will be people who can do it properly, and others abuse it, like with every goddamned thing ever.

I didn't say you personally did this, I mean someone can't just decry someone as a stalker, even if they think they are one. That brings up all kinds of discussions about what that does to a person's reputation, and just because someone is accused of this, doesn't mean it's true. And even if someone has a reason for such an accusation, what someone thinks constitutes a stalker can differ from person to person. Just messaging someone several times in a row, and getting angry over being ignored could be seen by someone as being a stalker. Or having that kind of tendency.

I don't know what you mean by sort of like crowdsourcing. Are you actually suggesting people should make it public when they think a certain person might be a stalker?

[Halyon]

I didn't say you personally did this, I mean someone can't just decry someone as a stalker, even if they think they are one. That brings up all kinds of discussions about what that does to a person's reputation, and just because someone is accused of this, doesn't mean it's true. And even if someone has a reason for such an accusation, what someone thinks constitutes a stalker can differ from person to person. Just messaging someone several times in a row, and getting angry over being ignored could be seen by someone as being a stalker. Or having that kind of tendency.

I don't know what you mean by sort of like crowdsourcing. Are you actually suggesting people should make it public when they think a certain person might be a stalker?

Crowd-sourcing of behavior that could be cause for concern. Accusations with merit are best left to experts. With some grains or spades of salt, sharing information is perhaps the best tool to shut out the troublesome people, regardless of gender, to make a better, and safer, environment for the rest. At least that's what I see it as.

Like say make a site were you can report someone for shitty behaviour (like if they act stalkerish or are particularly nasty in some manner) but you won't get to post their real name, adress, number, e-mail, etc, so you don't get the 'false rape accusation' thing going, unless shit hits the fan. Like you can then see if a pattern matches something someone else has said. Revealing the persons username might be fair though, as it's just that, a screen name, and people can have multiple accounts or change the screen-name etc.

Probably not the most effective idea, I realize that, but yeah, that's what I'd see the only way for 'outing' people would be useful for.

[Kasierith]

I have personally never understood the purpose of dating sites; it's circumventing the most vital aspect of starting a relationship: mutual interests. Same job, same school, same hobbies, same music, same scenes, same games.. meeting on something that can essentially serve as a basic scaffold for maintaining the relationship.

I have, however, been on several online roleplaying sites; both the kinds where you post in a forum to recruit people, and in formats where you look at profiles and see if another individual is interesting to rp with. I always reply to everyone, unless 1) I've already turned them down and they're trying to "change my mind," or 2) I fell asleep or went off to do something. The reactions of some people are pretty insane, when the basis of my rejection is "you aren't interesting enough" or "I'm doing a 3-5 multipara and even though I'm online am not doing anything with anyone else" or "your posting style was so boring that I'd be more interested in doing something with a caveman; go back to grade school to learn to write properly." Or just I was sleeping so waking up to 12 posts of "WHY WONT YOU TALK TO ME!!!!" does the opposite of endear me towards their cause.

In terms of doxxing.... I hate that even more than persistent one line whiners. It's the most absolutely immature thing you can do in the context of the situation. People like that need to grow up.

[Halyon]

Yeah, except humans are humans and will abuse the fuck out of such a system just to get back at people or just generally be jerks.

"We didn't really hit it off" turns into "Date arrived an hour late, immediately began conversation regarding if I still had an 'extra kidney' and if I was 'into ice baths'."

This is the general thing with everything in existance though, hence I also said to take it in moderation. I however think, in the internet age, information is important, due to the ease of being anonymous. If enough rumors about a certain person crops up, from individual people (who're unknown to eachother), then it's worth paying heed to them. Were if you can spot that the people spreading dirt on someone else, then they're probably out for revenge or falsely shaming/accusing someone, and unless it happens again with unrelated people, you should probably disregard it.

@Kasierith - Most people write about interests, jobs kids status etc, so they're not disregarding that. Many people have found their life-long partner over the internet, not always through dating sites, but a fair share has. It also serves as easy casual hook-ups for the ones who want that. Depending on the site, it can also be fairly safe to do it that way. This is also related to the subject of crowing rumors about unsavory people.

[Daethz]

Anything sexual related in nature provokes the "uncivilized" portion of our brains.

[Khaeix]

He's cute.

I think it's strange people lie online about themselves if they want to date someone.