Online Dating Differences for Men and Women

[Tyrgannus]

I was in a debate with someone about whether men or women had it harder for online dating. Admittedly, we were mostly referring to heterosexual online dating and I fully admit to not being well versed on the dynamics of homosexual online dating both for men and women, but sure enough we disagreed on who had it worse. Apparently a redditer recently posed as a woman and couldn't last 2 hours adding more fuel to the fire, but it didn't sync up AT ALL with anything I've heard from my personal life. Period. I always hear of those horror stories getting reported, but we cling to sensationalism and extremes in our drama-crazed society more than we'd like to admit. It's easy to make a story sound bad, but is it truly indicative of reality? I decided to investigate myself, but first some background.

Recently there has been a huge push to show how downright creepy some men on the internet can be. Things like Byefelipe's instagram account add fuel to a fire of an argument that no one would want to think of debating if they wanted to be seen as something other than a douchebag ever again. Apparently, there is harassment everywhere from the street, to online dating, and everywhere in between. Harassment. Abuse. Fear. Power. Hatred. Misogyny. Well, I find this odd to be fair. Sure, it's every fifth story nowadays but how many people do you know in real life that have hit a woman? How many do you know personally that are blatantly chauvinistic and misogynistic? Why is it that everyone I have ever met (both men AND women) seem to have encountered only a handful of truly abusive and sexist people out of the hundreds or thousands they've met in there entire lives? I've unfortunately met a few myself, but the way it's being talked about nowadays I should cry in a corner and hate myself for being part of the worst demographic this world has ever seen: men.

I made my own fake dating profile as a woman. I like to relate to people and wanted firsthand, albeit admittedly dishonest, experience on what it is like to be a woman in online dating. IT'S AMAZING! It's downright glorious. I haven't had an ego boost this great in years. Not what you were expecting, eh? In one hour, I had about 60 people like my profile and about 90 view it. I only received about 4 messages in the first hour and ALL of them were polite and grammatically correct. This is NEVER reported. You always hear the horror stories and are called a monster if you're skeptical, but color me skeptical now. I have so much power. I have men eating out of the palm of my hand. This is such an ego boost and I don't have to do anything. I can pick and choose because there's actually a selection. I can read profiles and weed ones I'm not interested in. I am not invisible.

As a man, my real account has existed for over a year, and in that time has received about 11 messages, all of which are replies to conversations I actively had to start. I receive less profile views in 3 or 4 months than I did in one hour. I meticulously worked and reworked my profile and even had friends help me with what photos to use. I poured my soul into it. Nothing. Desert. Rejection. Invisibility. Yet, I'm supposed to blindly believe that 100% of men have it easier than 100% of women and that we 100% don't understand what 100% of women go through on a day to day basis.

Funny that the word "empowering" is used so much nowadays. I have never felt so empowered as to when I pretended to be a woman.

[Deleted]

Link to your profile please?

[Crissi]

Depends on your attractiveness. My stuff gets a handful of views, and getting messages replied to is like pulling teeth. Im also a 6/10 in the looks department so its like "whatever". Missing out on how fun a person I am.

If both the m,an and woman are atractive, the woman will get more views and comments. Get an average looking woman, and they'll be more like what the guy tends to get. Hardly anything unless they actively try, and even then most of the time you dont hear back.

[Jonexe]

Media bias and sensationalism. It's the same thing that the media outlets do for racism, politics, murders, etc. They only show what makes someone say "Oh my god!" and then pay attention to the story. 'Good' news is not money making news. Much like if you watch your local news station you'd think the entire city is full of murderers and thieves; reading news about online dating is going to make it seem like woman are abused 100% of the time and that all men that use online dating are horrible people out to get you.

[Wyrllish]

I'm surprised this is shocking to anyone.

[Deleted]

Depends on your attractiveness. My stuff gets a handful of views, and getting messages replied to is like pulling teeth. Im also a 6/10 in the looks department so its like "whatever". Missing out on how fun a person I am.

If both the m,an and woman are atractive, the woman will get more views and comments. Get an average looking woman, and they'll be more like what the guy tends to get. Hardly anything unless they actively try, and even then most of the time you dont hear back.

I refuse to believe that is the reason, if I was not poor and a faggot I would marry you myself (you would have no choice).

[Independent voter]

I remember reading this thing about how closely the graphed curve of how many replies a woman got closely matched the graphed curve of how many interviews she got job wise. It's an unfair world.

[Theinquisition]

I was in a debate with someone about whether men or women had it harder for online dating. Admittedly, we were mostly referring to heterosexual online dating and I fully admit to not being well versed on the dynamics of homosexual online dating both for men and women, but sure enough we disagreed on who had it worse. Apparently a redditer recently posed as a woman and couldn't last 2 hours adding more fuel to the fire, but it didn't sync up AT ALL with anything I've heard from my personal life. Period. I always hear of those horror stories getting reported, but we cling to sensationalism and extremes in our drama-crazed society more than we'd like to admit. It's easy to make a story sound bad, but is it truly indicative of reality? I decided to investigate myself, but first some background.

Recently there has been a huge push to show how downright creepy some men on the internet can be. Things like Byefelipe's instagram account add fuel to a fire of an argument that no one would want to think of debating if they wanted to be seen as something other than a douchebag ever again. Apparently, there is harassment everywhere from the street, to online dating, and everywhere in between. Harassment. Abuse. Fear. Power. Hatred. Misogyny. Well, I find this odd to be fair. Sure, it's every fifth story nowadays but how many people do you know in real life that have hit a woman? How many do you know personally that are blatantly chauvinistic and misogynistic? Why is it that everyone I have ever met (both men AND women) seem to have encountered only a handful of truly abusive and sexist people out of the hundreds or thousands they've met in there entire lives? I've unfortunately met a few myself, but the way it's being talked about nowadays I should cry in a corner and hate myself for being part of the worst demographic this world has ever seen: men.

I made my own fake dating profile as a woman. I like to relate to people and wanted firsthand, albeit admittedly dishonest, experience on what it is like to be a woman in online dating. IT'S AMAZING! It's downright glorious. I haven't had an ego boost this great in years. Not what you were expecting, eh? In one hour, I had about 60 people like my profile and about 90 view it. I only received about 4 messages in the first hour and ALL of them were polite and grammatically correct. This is NEVER reported. You always hear the horror stories and are called a monster if you're skeptical, but color me skeptical now. I have so much power. I have men eating out of the palm of my hand. This is such an ego boost and I don't have to do anything. I can pick and choose because there's actually a selection. I can read profiles and weed ones I'm not interested in. I am not invisible.

As a man, my real account has existed for over a year, and in that time has received about 11 messages, all of which are replies to conversations I actively had to start. I receive less profile views in 3 or 4 months than I did in one hour. I meticulous worked and reworked my profile and even had friends help me with what photos to use. I poured my soul into it. Nothing. Desert. Rejection. Invisibility. Yet, I'm supposed to blindly believe that 100% of men have it easier than 100% of women and that we 100% don't understand what 100% of women go through on a day to day basis.

Funny that the word "empowering" is used so much nowadays. I have never felt so empowered as to when I pretended to be a woman.

I had a match.com account for a while and it was awesome.

I wrote a decent profile about myself thatw as professional and fun. no doucheyness or anything else. I was looking for a relationship. I had at least 4 responses a week and most of those resulted in dates. Mainly I found the women on the site to be working professionals that didn't have time for the dating scene. I was very impressed with the quaility of the women I found on the site.

I guess it must be a pain in the ass for some women, cause alot of dudes that use sites like these are dickbags. there are some great dudes on there though, if your willing to wade through the muck.

I also had a cougarlife.com account for a while, and it usually got me laid, but eventually that got old.

[Deleted]

I had a match.com account for a while and it was awesome.

I wrote a decent profile about myself thatw as professional and fun. no doucheyness or anything else. I was looking for a relationship. I had at least 4 responses a week and most of those resulted in dates. Mainly I found the women on the site to be working professionals that didn't have time for the dating scene. I was very impressed with the quaility of the women I found on the site.

I guess it must be a pain in the ass for some women, cause alot of dudes that use sites like these are dickbags. there are some great dudes on there though, if your willing to wade through the muck.

I also had a cougarlife.com account for a while, and it usually got me laid, but eventually that got old.

I see what you did there!

[Crissi]

I refuse to believe that is the reason, if I was not poor and a faggot I would marry you myself (you would have no choice).

I adore you RICH <3

However, that's the only reason I can think of :s

Oh, and then theres the majority of messages i DO get being from guys over 40! Im sorry, ut a 12 year age difference is just gong to be too large and awkward.

[Mask]

Not too surprised about your findings. It's neat to see the results, though.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

I think it depends on the individual. Had no luck so far then again women that do look aren't to y liking and I'm getting alienated from girls online(Radical feminists).

[Crissi]

I think it depends on the individual. Had no luck so far then again women that do look aren't to y liking and I'm getting alienated from girls online(Radical feminists).

Nooo, must save you from the dark side!

anyways, while it may look like im moping, Im ok with it. I'm not going to change my awesomeness just to appeal to more dudes. Might try makeup more often though...

/waggle

[EyelessCrow]

As a man I've always thought of online dating as luck. Luck that they will read my message, luck that they will look at my profile, luck that I will get a response.

Why is that? It's because women have to wade through waves of filth to get to a message from a guy that doesn't have his shirt off saying "yo babe nice tits" in message #14506.

I used to think it was me, when I'm out in the world I can strike up a conversation easily, on a dating site I feel like I don't exist. I've realized this is probably how it's working by reading profiles of women that say "I will ignore messages talking about *blah blah blah*"

Even still I just straight up delete messages with "hey".

[Deleted]

I adore you RICH <3

However, that's the only reason I can think of :s

Oh, and then theres the majority of messages i DO get being from guys over 40! Im sorry, ut a 12 year age difference is just gong to be too large and awkward.

I am almost 31, am I well past it?

[Theinquisition]

I see what you did there!

LOLZ

Well what sucked is that, while it was easy to get laid, they usually were looking for a relationship, and were SUPER FUCKING CLINGY.

EVEN if their profile said they were looking for NSA FWB

I never tried Tinder, but my buddies swear by it.

[Spectral]

I was in a debate with someone about whether men or women had it harder for online dating.

There's no serious debate to be had there. Women are just in a much, much better place when it comes to dating, online or off.

[Theinquisition]

I am almost 31, am I well past it?

holy shit im older than you?

*kills self*

[Crissi]

I am almost 31, am I well past it?

Psh, Im 28. Early 30's dudes are my prime target right now Too bad you swing for the other team.

[Theinquisition]

Psh, Im 28. Early 30's dudes are my prime target right now Too bad you swing for the other team.

Ahh oh, I better watch out.