SAN DIEGO COUNTY - http://sandiego.networkofcare.org/mh/home/index.cfm
United Behavioral Health - http://www.ubhpublicsector.com/sandiego/sdindex.htm
Access & Crisis Line - http://sandiego.networkofcare.org/mh...61%5F0&agegrp=
24 hours / 7 days
1-800-479-3339
(619) 641-6992 TDD
Suck it up. Be an Alpha male.
First off, I'm sorry for your loss. Took me about a year, to get over my ex-boyfriend, it can be hard and painful. And while at the moment, it sounds dumb, it will be better. And you will find someone again - someone who loves you as much as you do. Please don't commit suicide, I was in a similiar situation (mostly due to psychological problems and phobias though), and now, as the thought's mostly behind me, I see how much pain I would've caused to my family, how much they love me, and how much they would've missed me. And also, that they're willing to help - as I'm absolutely sure, you're family does too.
After a google search based on your provided location, I've found:
Maybe call them, these are people trained for situations like that. These are professional people that love to help you with all sorts of problems. It's also anonymous as you're worried about your job as you've described. They might refer you to a doctor, as another poster above suggested. Antidepressive medication can really help you in such situations, it makes the process much more bearable. Remember, there's only one you in the whole wide world, and she would miss you - please don't do something to yourself.SAN DIEGO COUNT
United Behavioral Health
Access & Crisis Line
24 hours / 7 days
1-800-479-3339
(619) 641-6992 TDD
Nicole - sorry for my quirky english, not my native language.
@Aveelii
This advice is pointless when you're trying to give it to someone who has only his thoughts on the matter in his mind and nothing else. What upsets one person might upset someone else more and if all he's doing is sitting around thinking about it, he's not going to just get over it just because there are other women out there. He doesn't care about other women right now. HIS woman is what he lost. He was betrayed. I know exactly how he feels. He's thinking a lot of things over and over in his head right now. Mostly wondering how she could have spent so much time claiming to love him but, at the same time, clearly plotting the next guy she was going to go sleep with because she set up a profile on match.com looking for men. That is incredibly fucked up to do to someone who is giving you their heart, their love. That's a waste of that person's time and an ultimate betrayal. Fucking with someone's heart like that is one of the worst things you can do in terms of relationships. She wasted his time making him think they were meant to be and then, as if flipping a switch, turned off and went on with her life looking for new dick like the relationship she was just in was nothing. That is insanely heartless and THAT is why the OP is not going to be able to get over this so easily. Obviously, some people put relationships higher up on their priorities than some other people.
This is evident in some of the replies here suggesting he find a new girlfriend in a fucking bar. The type of girls who go to bars aren't typically the relationship type and the type of guy who'd go to a bar to find a girl like that is the type who wouldn't really care if some girl just fucked over her long-term significant other and would say 'I don't give a fuck' as he was about to plow her.
The only thing the op can do is try to hang on and let some time pass. Time will make it easier to deal with. OP, when I was 18, I was madly in love with this girl who turned out to be an actual insane person with split personalities. Her psychotic episodes would trigger if she wasn't getting enough insulin (diabetic). She abused me psychologically for two and a half years. It was my first serious relationship and she had some weird ability to manipulate people that she used on me and, considering I was much younger and much dumber, she was able to control me for that entire time. The first time she broke up with me, I could have sworn my life was over. The world stopped spinning and all I could feel was this crushing and overwhelming sadness. I thought it was over for me, I couldn't even IMAGINE life going on. She was everything to me and all I did was sit around and ask myself 'how could she do this' 'I thought she loved me' 'why why why' over and over. I stopped functioning for a week, 5 days. I showered because the hot water was the only thing that brought me any semblance of relief and it lasted briefly and I really am not the type to go without one anyway. After 3 days I think I ate some chips. After 5 days I just felt empty, it seemed like I could go on to some degree but every 5-15 minutes, I'd start involuntarily thinking about it again and I'd find myself ground to a halt. Every day after that week, I would eat more and mope less. After a couple of weeks, I was 'okay'. The more time passed, the more I kept busy, the less it bothered me until one day a couple weeks later I just said 'Fuck it' and I was over it. It was my life and I was wasting that time that I would NEVER get back on some bitch that fucked me over and cared nothing about how it affected me. That right there is the process you must now go through.
You have to find a way to distract yourself for long enough that you can just get over it. Friends, family, work, food, movies, TV shows, hiking, animals. Anything that can trigger anti-depressant chemicals in your brain, anything that soothes your muscles and isn't self-destructive. Just distract yourself and your brain will eventually be able to adapt to what happened and you'll find the strength to say 'fuck it'. She royally screwed you over, wasted your time and stabbed you right in the back. Fuck her, you need to accept it and see it like that. She did something despicable to you that I truly understand. I know exactly where you are coming from. But, what she did, who she is... what she is... it's not worth your life.
Last edited by Silver Forte; 2014-11-24 at 08:37 AM.
Time heals wounds. Doesn't feel that way now, may even take a few months, but you will meet someone else and wonder what you were so worried about. I had exactly the same about 11 years ago. Felt ill because I was so upset. now i'm approaching my 10 year anniversary with a new partner and never been felt like that since. Just move on, spend more time with pals, get a hobby and just power forward. people break up every day. it's life sadly.
You're in your thirties and have a careerr? all the better.
Get social. Again: I don't think you realize your man value. Get get big jim and those twins into some new caves. It'll help you forget about her.
- - - Updated - - -
I LOVE Tom Leykis.
I wish I was listening to him a year ago when i was getting attached to wimmez out here.
I personally support people who decide to end their lives. The reason that I do is that I can empathize with pain and hurt. However, before you actually follow through with suicide I think you need to ask yourself - is the quality of my life such that there is little to no hope or chance of it improving? Meaning, are you terminally ill? Do you have a disability such that you can not physically overcome (blindness, missing legs/arms)? Do you have a mental disability such that no amount of medication or therapy will ever improve the "quality" of your life?
Depression comes and goes, and sometimes we can feel in a state of depression that can actually leave us and we'll be OK. Sometimes, there are people for whom the depression will not EVER go away.
Some people will use their own personal beliefs and tell you that suicide is selfish and I'll say that's total bullshit. What's selfish is when you force someone to live a life in which they can not EVER find joy, love and happiness. They believe that because THEY have it that EVERYONE can have it or they believe because one time they got sad and moved out it that EVERYONE should be able to do the same. That's just not how life works.
I would prefer that everyone have an amazing life and a life in which they are enriched and happy. I hope this for you.
do it, stream it live and don't forget to post links here
Infracted
Last edited by Darsithis; 2014-11-24 at 10:10 PM.
I'm not in California anymore, I got stationed in Florida. I have no one here. No family. No friends. I can't go get antidepressants because I have a job that makes it impossible to be able to take them. I am all alone here. She was all I had. She was everything. I can't get her out of my head. I don't want to. I wake up crying. I fall asleep the same way. Talking to someone on the phone isn't going to help because all they will tell me is to get over her. I don't want to get over her. I want her back. I love her more than I love my own life. I can barely breath.
It is not worth it, if you spent years getting your family back on their feet what do you think this would do to them. They would never be able to recover from it. I have tried a few times in the past, my life still isn't right my job sucks I live with my parents because my job sucks FYI I'm 33, I can't find any guy to like me for who I am last relationship was when I was 21, so I know how you feel and time does make things better you just have to deal with it one step at a time, virtual support from me Austra
Seriously. Call the hotline. You'll have someone to talk to who can help and has dealt with similar issues.
Also, all things being equal, you are not in a normal state of mind to see how intense your feelings are now compared to how they would be if you were happily living life in the future with this issue behind you. Pls call the number.
-Nish
Last edited by Nish77; 2014-11-24 at 08:50 AM.
I don't know everything about baseball. Most people don't know 'everything' about baseball. People fall into two two categories. Person A will, when they see I don't know something, try to explain it to me in detail so I understand it. Person B will use their knowledge to make me out to be stupid. Person B is no friend of mine.
Please call the Suicide Hotline for your country and get help! They are supposed to keep quiet about everything you tell them and can point you to doctors who can further help you if you're suffering from a real depression.
Also, think of your loved ones. You parents, your siblings if you have any and your friends. I tried to kill myself, when I was sixteen. Cut my wrist and took like every pill I could find in the house. My mom found me while I was still half conscious - I'll never ever forget that scream, I still remember it now, eleven years later. It'd be like stabbing their heart. Go talk to them, tell them how you feel. They are your family and friends, surely they'll be there for you.