When I found out about the six month too early release and the future layoffs, I immediately went out, found some people to help me, and started approaching investors, looking for some extra money that would give us that extra 6 months. We failed to find some, though. The situation was just a bad one -- the game was almost done, SOE and MSFT made some sort of complicated deal that I was not privy to, a lot of money had already been spent... it just wasn't something an investor could easily wrap his head around. So that extra $$ for an extra 6 months just never happened. I learned a lot, but I was also away from the office a LOT during the last 4-6 months before we launched in Jan 2007.
Anyway, I certainly made my share of mistakes. Ultimately, the death blow of sorts was the regime change with Microsoft, and all of their MMO guys leaving the company and the new group assigned to us not being fans of MMOs and wanting us to abandon our core design and turn Vanguard into a WoW-clone. All of my stress and anxiety ultimately came from that event. But now I know how hard I can push myself, how involved or in love with a project I can safely become. I know more about managing larger teams and setting up middle management properly. I think I was a decent CEO and now I think I could be a good CEO.
I've certainly seen the posts where people have urged me not to take a CEO role with Visionary Realms. They look at what happened with Vanguard and the mistakes made and that's their opinion. I certainly respect their opinion, but I don't think it's taking everything into consideration that should be. Like I said, I know myself so much better now and can look back at my mistakes and be determined not to repeat them. I like taking the negatives that happened with Vanguard and turning them into positives by doing a better job this next time around. If I don't, then I'm simply a defeated ex-CEO. And I don't want to leave it at that. I want another shot at it.