DiD I give my buddy bad advice?

[Deleted]

Some people have standards others dont... Personally from an outside PoV you sound like a doormat person

Not sure what that has to do with me finding a partner attractive?

ETA: It has nothing to do with standards. It's not like I'm willing to go for someone who I don't find attractive. It's just I genuinely find a wide variety of body types attractive. In fact providing their face is attractive I'd be hard pressed to find a body I didn't find attractive.

[Lodreh]

...If so, that's perfectly reasonable for him to bust out the ultimatum...

Ultimatums in general should be avoided. If someone is doing something you don't like... tell them about how you don't like it and offer some alternatives... if they do not take the initiative then just leave. They should want to change for themselves or out of compassion for someone they care about... not through fear of losing someone... that only builds resentment.

[Wildtree]

The trick is to avoid getting involved in other peoples shit.

This............... Is............ It!

[Itisamuh]

Direct ultimatums are pretty much a death sentence to relationships. I would even say that him breaking up with her, waiting for her to ask why, and telling her that he sees no drive in her to take care of herself would have a better chance of working. Phrasing is everything; an ultimatum is essentially a threat, and that will just put her back up.

[THE Bigzoman]

Or, maybe that just isn't something that's massively important to them. Maybe there are more important things to these people, like creative endeavours, or their loved ones or whatever. Maybe they just like food and it's not a result of some psychological issues, and so long as they're not about to collapse of heart attack at any second they don't care if they're a bit chubby. Maybe they actually think they look attractive, and so it has nothing to do with not caring about their appearance. Keep in mind I'm only talking about being slightly overweight in this case, rather than getting into the argument about morbid obesity. Or perhaps they are trying to lose weight. How do you know what point they are in their journey? You've no right to make that judgement.

You are refusing to look at this from any perspective save your own. Just because for one person being as healthy as possible is a goal, doesn't mean that's the case for everyone. Although from what I hear that isn't a goal for you, so you're being rather hypocritical.

It is one of my goals actually. I've admitted to putting on some weight over the last couple of months and never said this didn't apply to me.

So again, there's no inconsistency.

[Deleted]

It is one of my goals actually. I've admitted to putting on some weight over the last couple of months and never said this didn't apply to me.

So again, there's no inconsistency.

So again - how do you know that some other fat person isn't trying to lose weight? I'd of thought that of all people, someone else struggling with their weight would have empathy.

And at the end of the day, why does it matter? They're not you, it doesn't affect you. Hell, if they're just slightly chubby it probably doesn't even effect them. I literally can't wrap my head around why someone would care.

[THE Bigzoman]

So again - how do you know that some other fat person isn't trying to lose weight? I'd of thought that of all people, someone else struggling with their weight would have empathy.

And at the end of the day, why does it matter? They're not you, it doesn't affect you. Hell, if they're just slightly chubby it probably doesn't even effect them. I literally can't wrap my head around why someone would care.

Did you read the OP? I didn't just flat out jump to this conclusion. I even asked my buddy if there were any factors that contributed to her new habits. I made a suggestion only after I saw that it was, in fact, bothering him to a certain degree.

[Deleted]

Did you read the OP? I didn't just flat out jump to this conclusion. I even asked my buddy if there were any factors that contributed to her new habits. I made a suggestion only after I saw that it was, in fact, bothering him to a certain degree.

Oh, I thought we'd moved on to a more general discussion about judging people.

[THE Bigzoman]

Oh, I thought we'd moved on to a more general discussion about judging people.

In a general sense, I made it pretty clear that there were exceptions to the rule.

Assuming not external factors are driving you to eat and you are "just cause"

For those that don't value it, my point sill stands.

[Varvara Spiros Gelashvili]

We're making progress.

You're getting a cult following I see o.0.

[Annoying]

The trick is to avoid getting involved in other peoples shit. Pal of mine asked me for advice about breaking up with his fiance, I laughed at him, brought him a beer and made him play monopoly on the itbox with me.

So basically any advice is bad advice.

I just give off-the-wall crazy advice. That way, I'm basically not giving advice, but I'm still "giving advice".