Open Letter to Parents of League of Legends Players

[Charge me Doctor]

Except the parents can do and say whatever they want (IN GENERAL) because it's their house, their rules, no matter how fluid those rules may be.

I'm not saying this is the best way a household should be, but it is the parents' home and their child is the one leaching off them.

And by doing that they lose all credibility in their kids eyes, which is never a good thing, that's where all these "when i'm 18 i gtfo" come from

[Very Tired]

If I were the parents, I would be more concerned with the toxic behavior my kids have that make the horrible League of Legends the community it's known for than leaving games early.

[Dasani]

Except the parents can do and say whatever they want (IN GENERAL) because it's their house, their rules, no matter how fluid those rules may be.

I'm not saying this is the best way a household should be, but it is the parents' home and their child is the one leaching off them.

They chose to have a kid.

By choosing to have a kid, you are making the conscious decision to give birth to them, provide food, clothes, supplies, education, moral upbringing, and so on until they are old enough to take care of themselves. If you didn't make that choice, and you had a kid "by accident", then you're just irresponsible in the first place.

So you can't blame the kid for leaching off them, it's what they wanted to happen. Unless they are unaware how children work, in which case, back to irresponsible/ignorant comment.

I don't think having a kid just entitles you to command them to be your slave. You have to set rules and limitations for their protection, you have to help teach them responsibility and how to get by in this world. But most chores aren't "this will teach my kid responsibility!" it's more "i dont want to do this anymore, gonna make the kid do it". And to make matters worse, make the kid do it right then, right there, on the parent's schedule. You could say it's their right or whatever, that's not really something i'd care to debate about, but I would argue that I think it's wrong to turn your kid into what is basically a slave.

I think it teaches more responsibility to let them do tasks in their own time as long as they get done instead of standing over them with a belt saying DO IT NOW. I mean that isn't really teaching them responsibility, it's just nurturing animosity towards authority figures.

[Charge me Doctor]

No need to say "FUCKING DO IT NOW! NOWWWWW!!!!" like a psycho. I've also spent a few summers with the wad of all 3 of them before and had to be the one responsible for them for months at a time during such periods and still had no troubles really.

I mean can't you just give your kids a chance? Give them an opportunity to prove they can be responsible about things and do what they are supposed to do instead of just assuming they aren't going to do it? And they might slip up once in a while because they're just dumb kids, but for the most part I think good kids get a lot of flak from their parents that is unwarranted.

Those kids in my life have just put some perspective on this whole situation. Like, it's unthinkable for me to do something like that to them without a damn good reason.

I think if parents would consider that kind of thing along a similar vein as football, and thinking of it like interrupting a football game to take your kid home randomly to take out the trash, it would help put some perspective on the whole thing.

Parents often go this crazy when they feel that they have no power to make their kid do things, and they get to this point by violating their own house rules in front of their kid.

And personally i think that interrupting a game because your kid doesn't listen to you is a bad thing, but interrupting a game because your kid doesn't follow the rules, it's perfectly fine. If you was told that you don't start a new game but you did started it, it's perfectly fine in my eyes to deny you ability to play it, even if it hurts 9 other players around the world. It will work extremely effective if these 9 players are knows by your kid, since they will be able to pressure him for not obeying rules (aka, you was told not to start new game why the hell you did?)

[Dasani]

It's a game. They're kids. They don't get to do whatever they want. How pampered are they if they bitch about now being able to play a video game? First world problems.

And breaking into someone's home and stealing all their possessions isn't as serious an offense as raping and then murdering someone. Does that mean we should ignore the lesser crime?

You're right it's just a game. Ultimately at the end of the day, none of it really matters much. But again, I point you back to football. No parent does that when their kid is on a sports team because they acknowledge and understand they are part of a team and that by doing that, it affects more than just their child. That knowledge and understanding does not exist at all for anything that happens online. It's the same reason a lot of people act like complete sacks of shit online when they are much better people in real life, because they treat people on the internet like they aren't real people. If a parent did go grab their kid in the middle of a game like that, literally EVERYONE there would think they were the biggest asshat of a parent they'd ever seen.

Games aside, how you raise a kid is important. What you teach them is important. You can't control them their whole lives and parents like these seek to control instead of teach. You have to get kids to learn how to make their own choices, the right choices, and for the right reasons. if you never give them that chance, and just try to directly control them, they're just gonna resent you and cant wait to get out on their own and leave to get out from under your oppression.

[Dasani]

Parents often go this crazy when they feel that they have no power to make their kid do things, and they get to this point by violating their own house rules in front of their kid.

And personally i think that interrupting a game because your kid doesn't listen to you is a bad thing, but interrupting a game because your kid doesn't follow the rules, it's perfectly fine. If you was told that you don't start a new game but you did started it, it's perfectly fine in my eyes to deny you ability to play it, even if it hurts 9 other players around the world. It will work extremely effective if these 9 players are knows by your kid, since they will be able to pressure him for not obeying rules (aka, you was told not to start new game why the hell you did?)

Exactly. If you start playing 10 mins before its your bed time, thats on you. Pull the plug, punish his ass. He fucked up. If you were supposed to take out the trash before it got dark and you still haven't done it and it's dark outside, that is on you. You fucked up. Punish their ass.

But if it isn't dark yet, going in there and forcing them to do it instantly and disrupt what they're doing to allow for your outrageous demand is bad parenting. And yeah, parents often violate their own rules lol.

One of my nieces is rather troubled these days because her mother flat out ignores her and she despises her father at this point because he's such a control freak. Anytime she gets to come visit me she never wants to go home and go back to that. I mean they spend a ton of money to put her in therapy and also to pay for her to have a cellphone just so they can keep tabs on her position all the time and what she's doing. There's no trust or decent relationship there. It's really disappointing. I've seen a lot of bad parenting in my life sadly, but it's not really my place to change her situation. She's almost old enough to make her own decisions anyway at this point. She has hinted in the past as soon as she turns 18 she'd rather live with me until she gets her life figured out because she just cant stand being there anymore.

- - - Updated - - -

This response in the thread pretty much sums up my thoughts.

Kids disobey their parents all the time and push the limits of their rules on a regular basis. Letting them go and punishing them later teaches them nothing; you may as well not even have boundaries in the first place. If the child knows the rules and chooses to try and push the limits, too bad for them and too bad for the other players in the game. It sucks, yes, but in the end, it is just a game and a parents right to raise their children as they see fit should ALWAYS come first.



Teachers and bosses dont give a shit about this. If they set you a deadline and you miss it, you aren't going to get a pat on the head and a "Its ok, you got it done in the end so it is fine." All this attitude does is teaches them that deadlines basically dont matter.

I already mentioned doing it by a deadline is important and required. I never once said there was no time limit, I just said as long as they get it done before that time limit, there's no reason to have a tantrum about doing it immediately unless there's good reason. Deadlines matter. But doing something instantly shouldn't be required as long as it is done before the deadline. The only time that would be needed is if they are extremely lazy and always wait to half ass things at the last minute.

And if all you want to teach your kids how to be the perfect employee I feel bad for your joyless children being raised in such an environment. You'd be surprised what kids do when given opportunities. When kids actually love and respect their parents, believe it or not they WANT to please them. They want you to be proud of them, they want to make you happy. If you treat them like a slave their whole life, of course they're going to resent being ordered around and get bitchy and cant wait to leave. Don't assume all forms of parenting end the same way.

I read that specific response you linked, and for the most part I agree. I do think punishing them INSTANTLY is far more important than letting them finish a game when they've already crossed the line. i think that concept is silly. I'd never argue you should let them finish under such a circumstance.

However that person as well seems to be jumping on the "anything i do is right because i care more about raising my child than the game". Well, that doesn't mean anything. It's like justifying murdering people because you love your children. The two things are unrelated. Forcing them to stop a game to take out the trash isn't some high standard of parenting that must be upheld, it isn't illustrating your undying devotion and love for your children. It's using that as an excuse to do what you want to do. It's easy to justify as well. You can say literally anything you force your kid to do is in the name of trying to raise them right, regardless of what it is. It's a meaningless argument and I don't agree with the way that person described it there.

[Jester Joe]

Is it honestly that shocking to you that Penny Arcade did a more drastic response for sake of being humorous still?

That being said, here's more accurately Tycho's feelings, in the text version along with the comic.

I have described previously how the pool of people who write professionally about games don’t really overlap with my life. You can’t really get in trouble for that; most people can’t help being who they are. You gotta take people as they come. They have been alternately “fed” or “shocked” on this grotesque spherical laboratory simply for doing what came naturally to them at every juncture, and now they’re human fucking wreckage, like everyone else.

My “fucking wreckage” is simply inflected differently. I don’t have beef with you until you start telling me how to do my shit, which is what The Open Letter To Parents Of League of Legends Players is about. I only know about it because the pool of people who write professionally about games told me it was reasonable, and - like most people without kids - they imagine themselves privy to some secret band of data that has somehow eluded actual parents. You don’t know shit. Or, what you know is shit. Take your pick.

Anything in the piece about the length of the game, which is an odd length, is good for parents. That’s something they need to know. As a corollary, using this information to determine when a kid has time for a match, also good. Calls to “ground” young people who make poor choices in this regard is another conceptual realm in which we may find agreement. As sad as it may be, there are parents today who did not grow up nerds and so they don’t know how the most popular videogame on the planet Earth actually functions. But when you start talking about when I can and cannot set limits on behavior, or withdraw privileges, because of your Statz or because it might attract the ire of a community already legendary for its player abuse, you’re punching above your weight, kid.

(CW)TB out.

I don't see it as big of an issue as people are making it out to be, or the whole argument of "Well they chose to have kids, so they have to raise them!"

...Yeah, and teach them how to behave. Not "Oh, well if you start the game late, you'll be allowed to finish it you just won't be able to play for a while!".

That being said, it's completely moot, as chances are the only parents who will see that thread are, well you know, the ones who play the game.

[Kurgosh]

A large portion of the online gaming community is American. Here in America, being a complete dickwad to other people just because you can is viewed as a badge of honor.

[Duronos]

I'll be honest though, it's great being at the elo I'm at since you never get an afker. Kids that have parents making them get off the computer barely make it to gold.

[OCDFreaK]

I'll be honest though, it's great being at the elo I'm at since you never get an afker. Kids that have parents making them get off the computer barely make it to gold.

Counter strike is notorious for this. Also TF2 when it went F2P. Server population fluctuates like mad.

[Eon Drache]

Grow up, get a job, live in your own house, do what you want, problem solved.

where I live all the houses for sale want cash up front. And all the apartments are for the elderly or disabled. We even have a building for single woman. But if you're a single guy you're screwed.

[Anium]

Oh kids...
Honestly I'm going to do everything in my power and make sure my future ankle bitters are not going to succumb to a lot of misspent youth / time on games. So yeah stick that in your parenting pipe

- - - Updated - - -

A large portion of the online gaming community is American. Here in America, being a complete dickwad to other people just because you can is viewed as a badge of honor.

And that is why NA is notorious for the grief. Not saying EUW isn't bad but ...

[DMCDante]

But you'd let them drink? Here's the thing, you can shelter kids but it often just leads to a way worse outcome. Good luck with parenting though.

Nowhere in my post have I said I'd let them drink, how on earth did you come to that conclusion. And it's not sheltering, if you think a young 13 to 15 year old should be exposed to the kind of community league of legends has, then I really have no comment on that. It influences teens, I speak from experience. 10 years ago all the "cool" kids insulted each with homophobic and racist slurs and I used it too to be "cool" and I wouldn't want my kid to be like that as well.

You do know headphones are a thing?

Headphones do not protect MY ears from the yelling MY kid does, not the others he might play with. Have you seen league of legends streams? Wannabe pros lose their shit should something not go how they thought it would. Hell my neighbor's kid is a 14 year old and after school hours (around 15:00-17:00) you can actually hear him yell profanities and whatnot on his xbox (guessing it's call of duty not lol but the same crap honestly) while his parents work.

[Jester Joe]

What kind of parent gives a kid a sleeping schedule that doesn't have a set time? Do they just wait until they feel like it's the right time and then say "Go to bed kids!"?

It would be more realistic to tell the kid to not start a new game up 40 minutes within their bed time and then when it's their bed time you check if the game if an ongoing one. If it's a new game then you could just let them finish that one and then make it so they don't get to go on the computer for the last 2 hours of their bed time the next day.

It's not really hard to have a plan.

You obviously don't know kids that well then. I have my own computer I bought, yet since our house computer sucked, I offered to let mine be used, BUT, on one condition, it's gotta be open after 7PM every night.

Yet my brother finds it perfectly fine to queue for his ranked matches in whatever he plays (Counterstrike I think) that goes for like 30-40 minutes sometimes right at 6:55PM.

You literally would have to be breathing down their neck the rest of the first game to make sure they don't hit that queue button.

As for the 2nd part, that's exactly what I'm saying won't work. It just kinda enforces "Hey, if you really want something, do it because you'll get it at the time and not have to deal with the consequences until later!"

Headphones do not protect MY ears from the yelling MY kid does, not the others he might play with. Have you seen league of legends streams? Wannabe pros lose their shit should something not go how they thought it would. Hell my neighbor's kid is a 14 year old and after school hours (around 15:00-17:00) you can actually hear him yell profanities and whatnot on his xbox (guessing it's call of duty not lol but the same crap honestly) while his parents work.

Also this. I'm so guilty of it myself sometimes, but usually it's just an heavy sigh with an "Are you serious right now" while raiding, nothing too big though. My brother? All hell breaks loose, he yells for hours on end. I'm shocked he has a voice still.

[Thychiz]

I agree quite strongly with the letter in question. I was taught from a very young age consideration and respect for others, and while I may be a borderline sociopath now I still am very "in-tune" with seeing things through other peoples eyes and considering how things effect others, whether or not I act on this is a different story.
I've noticed that generally people with this line of thinking are almost always better players too. It's something that is severely lacking in the latest generation, they are all a bunch of "me-me-me" kids, with no thought past 10 minutes into the future or the effects of their actions.
This letter raises much deeper issues than simply "parents who make their children quit games early" if you think about it.

[ElDoorO]

as much as i love online gaming and hate when people leave, i still feel the need to mention that its just a game

So long as you're the same parent who would take a kid out of a football game 15 minutes in because it's their bed time. It's not different.

[hollafame]

I don't play league but since the post was just using it as a focal point then I'll say this -- If you're not old enough to have the freedom of playing video games at your own discretion then you shouldn't be playing anything that could problematic for others if you suddenly have to jump ship.

If you want to take this to a larger magnitude, people waste each others time constantly and for little to no reason in every day life. So in the end -- get angry, then get over it.

[Orkwuzhere]

I don't know what made me stopped reading your post: the avatar, or everything else after reading the subject?

I just can't take you seriously. No one with a brain cell reads that horrible webcomic anymore after Pigbald made asses out of themselves 1-2 years ago with their Dickwolf and Internship drama (I lost all respect for Pig & Bald when they expected to hire someone who'll work 80+ hours for no pay TEH HONOUR TO HANG OUT WITH TEH PENNY ARCADE GAIS!!!!).

e: Holy shit, the art went from ugly to atrocious.

[Toxigen]

If I ever begin to see even the slightest shade of this problem form in my house with my kids...


...that fucking plug is getting pulled. Immediately.

Its just a game. Respect for one's parents and the family's routine far outweighs what little enjoyment they may get out of playing that one last match.


Side note: it turns my stomach when I see a family out to eat at a restaurant and their kids are zoned into a cellphone. Families don't sit down and talk around the table anymore, and its disgusting. Not in my house! My kids won't even have cell phones until age 12, and they'll be talk + voicemail only with no texting or applications.

Call it archaic, but the old-school way of things is far superior to this modern day tech bullshit.

[Kudos]

Time management. Don't start a game when you know there could be the possibility of having to leave for dinner.

Blame the kid who didn't look at his watch, not the parents.