Respect the dead

[TheBeardedOne]

Does anyone else find the respect the dead mantra no matter how bad or stupid they were in life weird?

I was on a car forum earlier and the death of a younger memeber came up as he crashed at sppend in a uni campus into a tree and killed himslef. One person asked how he died and got his head ripped off for not been respectful of the dead. I mean gods sake the kid was speeding in a car park area and lost it into a tree. He is lucky he didn't kill innocents.

As far as i am concerned if you are not respected in life you don't deserve any in death. Thoughts?

[Celista]

I think it depends on the situation and what was said.

[Deleted]

I think people are looking for reasons to get offended.

[Wildtree]

Incidentally, asking how someone died is not showing disrespect. So /endthread there.

Yes....... I believe there's more to the story.
Asking how someone died is not in any way disrespectful.

[TheBeardedOne]

How we treat our dead reflects on who we are in life. If you wanna be seen as an asshole, feel free to talk shit about dead people you didn't know. Otherwise, show a bit of respect and acknowledgement that you can die just as easily, in far worse (or sillier) ways.

Incidentally, asking how someone died is not showing disrespect. So /endthread there.

This is just one example. There is a general trend to forget all the bad things people did merely because they died.

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Yes....... I believe there's more to the story.
Asking how someone died is not in any way disrespectful.

Apparently to some it is.

[theostrichsays]

Growing up it was more meant towards the idea of if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, at least how adults applied it. I don't remember anyone acting like we couldn't ask about, or talk about a person, rather people seemed to take stretch the truth, or flat out lie about a person once they passed.

[AeneasBK]

Ironically I kinda agree with the sentiment except in cases where people drive dangerously and kill themselves.

Funny old world.

[Wildtree]

why don't you link us to the forums, so we can make better judgment?

[Independent voter]

If they're dead they are no longer in the game, they can't compete with you. Might as well show some grace.

[TheBeardedOne]

Growing up it was more meant towards the idea of if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, at least how adults applied it. I don't remember anyone acting like we couldn't ask about, or talk about a person, rather people seemed to take stretch the truth, or flat out lie about a person once they passed.

I am not really saying talk smacj about the dead. But it seem to be tradition to glorify them and make out they were good when reality was different

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why don't you link us to the forums, so we can make better judgment?

Forum is a bad description. Its a private facebook group linked to the forum

[Deleted]

I think it's stupid no matter what. The dead are dead, no one should give a shit about disespecting them, because they're dead duh.

[Jester Joe]

I would imagine it's not just about the dead themselves, but realizing they have family grieving their loss, no matter how bad of a way it might of been to go.

[theostrichsays]

I am not really saying talk smacj about the dead. But it seem to be tradition to glorify them and make out they were good when reality was different

In a sense I agree with you. I generally just show people enough common courtesy not to say bad things about an individual, if I'm not around them personally, it was how I was raised.
When it comes to glorifying people after their death, I absolutely agree. After the changes to law in Kentucky about pain killers (clinics), heroin became really popular really quick. A number of people overdosed within the first 6 months of the law changes, and if you were to hear people tlak of them, they all sounded like upstanding citizens who never hurt anyone, and was a boon to society, when in truth most of them were too strung out or dope sick to do anything, much less something good. It is dishonest, but I guess it helps people cope with the loss.

[Deleted]

I think there is a line that has to be drawn between shit talking dead people, being respectful of dead people, and glorifying their life beyond the truth.

When a person who did bad things dies, I don't think it's right to pretend those things never happened, and if someone is generally a bad person, acting like they were a pillar of their community or something is... pointless.

That said, the person IS dead. I don't really think dieing washes away all your guilt, but in a way you do pay for it. A guy speeds and wraps his car around a tree killing himself, and what. What does shit talking him do at that point? Should we act like doing what he did was okay? No, being talking about how much of an idiot he is? What purpose does it serve? He can't like "not do it again in future" because he's dead yo, and like, was it dangerous to other people? Yes, but he's gotten the ultimate punishment for that already. It's like, you get caught selling coke or something, and you go to prison because you had a lot on you. When you get out, like... yeah you still did the thing you did, but you've gone to prison for it already like, you've paid for what you've done. Sometimes if you do really bad things then maybe jail time doesn't necessarily cover it, like, punishment doesn't fit the crime, but if you die like... what more punishment can you get?

And if you're not shit talking a dead person to punish them somehow, then what are you doing it for, because it serves no other purpose than potentially upsetting their friends and families. There's stuff to be learned from such things, for example, don't speed in residential areas and wrap your car around trees, but that can be taught in a way that isn't "So there was this idiot, dave, who was speeding and now the fucker's dead and it serves him right so don't be like dive"

I don't think asking how someone died, in a vacuum, is shit talking or being disrespectful, but we don't know the full story. If it's like considered common knowledge, or something you could find out easily, then asking about it doesn't really serve any purpose. Like, if you just heard your friend's daughter has gone missing, it's probably not disrespectful to be like "oh my gosh what happened?" but waltzing up to Madeline McCann's parents and being like "yo guys whats up, remind me again how your kid daughter ended up going missing" is like, serves no purpose other than to upset the family, you could have found it out yourself in like 10 seconds even if you didn't know.

From what you've said about like, it being a group where people know each other enough to know other members have died and so on, I imagine the details of his death were common knowledge, so it was probably taken as someone asking just to bring that topic of conversation up again so as to remind people of it and upset them. Maybe that wasn't the case and mistakes do happen where people are offended by accident without you realising you did a bad thing, but... that's probably how it was taken.

[Deleted]

I don't respect the dead, i'll show respect to those who are mourning the dead (assuming I didn't like them in life). If someone I hate dies I am not going to suddenly talk shit about them in the company of those who liked/loved them - leave them to mourn. I probably won't waste my time and other's as to why I didn't like them, unless they were a twisted sicko who done loads of crazy things.

I'll say sorry for your loss and will be comforting to those who are grieving, but that doesn't mean I have any respect for the person who died.

[Deleted]

An asshole is an asshole even when dead.

That said I won't go out of my way to shit talk said asshole, it's not my preferred way of life to continually bemoan others.

[Xargoth6634]

Even if I think the world's better off without someone, I don't really celebrate their passing. Even with people like Saddam and Bin Laden, felt to me more like something that had to be done. But eh, I don't believe in karma or that anyone's coming back from the dead if I talk shit about them. Just always felt kind of tacky to shittalk dead people. They're dead, you're not, good enough.

[apepi]

How about respect people in general and not just the dead.

[TheBeardedOne]

How about respect people in general and not just the dead.

Not mamy people deserve any respect

[Conspicuous Cultist]

Micheal Jackson is a pop legend.