general depression, recent fit of it.

[SqueektheWeek]

so this topic is probably going to get a bunch of flak from "suck it up panzie" style people but lately ive been having a problem with some life choices ive made.

I'm 28. i never went back to school, i drink maybe once every 5 days (I know its not helping as it is a depressant), and the love i once had for my other, the mother of my child and the twins i love that are not mine even though ive been with her 4 years and they are 6, has turned sour and become hatred for one another.

lately i just dont want to look in to any of their faces except my boy. i just kind of hate where i am. i know its my fault.

Im just trying to get my head clear and looking for some kinda quick fix.

cry for some help when no other cries for help have been answered. #we'renotsupposedtohaveemotions

[Shadowmelded]

There's no real quick fix. Mindfulness is the new rage though. Supposed to help with the downward spiral of negative thoughts that people often say overwhelm them before they realize what's happened.

[SqueektheWeek]

mindfulness sounds like it would just make me crazy.

[Celista]

It's winter...stop drinking, take some vitamin D.

Read this. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2738337/

[FishHead]

Why the hell would you marry used goods? You brought this on yourself.

[SqueektheWeek]

Why the hell would you marry used goods? You brought this on yourself.

I havent married anything. I dont really hold marriage in high regards. its just bs now a days.

this guy is probably a hoot at parties.

[glo]

so this topic is probably going to get a bunch of flak from "suck it up panzie" style people but lately ive been having a problem with some life choices ive made.

I'm 28. i never went back to school, i drink maybe once every 5 days (I know its not helping as it is a depressant), and the love i once had for my other, the mother of my child and the twins i love that are not mine even though ive been with her 4 years and they are 6, has turned sour and become hatred for one another.

lately i just dont want to look in to any of their faces except my boy. i just kind of hate where i am. i know its my fault.

Im just trying to get my head clear and looking for some kinda quick fix.

cry for some help when no other cries for help have been answered. #we'renotsupposedtohaveemotions

So your relationship isn't working out and you feel poorly now, right? Pretty sure that's normal. End it and move on with your life. Also, depressants and depression aren't related in the way you think they're related, even though they share similar spellings.

[Acidbaron]

Everyone gets to that point one time or another, just keep busy and moving on last thing you want to do is constantly dwell on things you had high hopes for that failed, that will surely make you crazy.

[MichaelTrent]

so this topic is probably going to get a bunch of flak from "suck it up panzie" style people but lately ive been having a problem with some life choices ive made.

I'm 28. i never went back to school, i drink maybe once every 5 days (I know its not helping as it is a depressant), and the love i once had for my other, the mother of my child and the twins i love that are not mine even though ive been with her 4 years and they are 6, has turned sour and become hatred for one another.

lately i just dont want to look in to any of their faces except my boy. i just kind of hate where i am. i know its my fault.

Im just trying to get my head clear and looking for some kinda quick fix.

cry for some help when no other cries for help have been answered. #we'renotsupposedtohaveemotions

There is nothing worse, then going through hell of depression. You wake up each day, not knowing if you will make it
'till night, or you will simply give in, and end it all yourself. The drugs sometimes help, and sometimes make it worse.
Felt like I had no control whatsoever over my own life. But with some help from my family, the people who truly love me, I
managed to get myself out of that hell-hole. It took me a while, but I managed to teach myself how to push trough the day, and keep on fighting.
In the end, it all comes down to helping yourself get up and fight, because without that no one can truly help you, no matter how much they would want to.
To conclude, help yourself, so you could go out into the world, and start truly living, and that will be a cure on it's own.
lookingupstuff.com/mentalhealth/2015/02/06/how-to-destroy-depression/

[Independent voter]

Depression and mourning can be similar in feeling but they're different. You can go into mourning when you have a break up with someone you loved, they're not dead but you're still losing them. Mourning usually lifts naturally in a month or three, enough time passes and you eventually accept things they way they are.

[belfpala]

Why the hell would you marry used goods? You brought this on yourself.

At my age there's no such thing as non-used "goods."

OP: Try to remember things you enjoy doing. Hobbies, whatever. Or maybe start a new one.

If that doesn't work, see a professional. We're not qualified to give what might be medical advice here.

[drwelfare]

Several years back I just accepted my life as a loss and went with it. Once you know that you dont have to think or worry as much.
You can burn up your time and money on drinking and drugs or just do something to piss the rest of your life away, while hoping it ends soon.

Trying to get "Help" may just get you drugged up or spending a few days in the nut house if you say the wrong thing, and by all accounts I hear the nut house is worse than jail.

[Revi]

Everybody is used goods once they date and breakup - kids or no kids.

Just do one of those born-again virgin things, apparently you can repeat as needed.

[Louisa Bannon]

...has turned sour and become hatred for one another.

Whatever it was, it wasn't mature love. That's not how mature love works. I know others may disagree with how I do things but I am still in contact with almost everyone I ever dated seriously my whole life long. I don't hate anyone - hell, I probably still love them. It just didn't work out. My current partner and I have even occasionally vacationed with some of my former partners. You can imagine whatever you like, but everyone kept to their own beds. Its just that these friendships were deep and persist. It's great actually. Best advice here is to make sure that serious affairs are based on some profound friendship feelings and not just sexual interest alone. If all you want to do is bang someone, don't be surprised that such a desire wears off.

And about the general sense of depression. Yeah, you are going to be down from a break up. Totally normal.

Never do anything rash when you know you are feeling down. Sleep on it. Whatever crackpot thing you were thinking of doing will likely seem quite foolish come the next day.

Get some sunlight. Get some exercise. Stop drinking. Try to sleep better. Take time out to be at peace - maybe take a nice bath. Take a new lover. Hug your pillow for 30 seconds or longer. Etc.

Things get better over time. You'll be fine.

It doesn't actually hurt you to fake it until you make it here. Pretending happiness sometimes feels like happiness and becomes actual happiness. You basically are your nervous system so if you can fool it into feeling well, you will actually be well.

[Nahuun]

I hate to say it but there is a difference between love and lust. When you "love" a person and are committed to them, that is it. You can't see yourself without them, no matter how hard times got. Lust, on the other hand, comes in waves. It usually lasts a few years tops, then the relationship falls apart. You end up questioning what you ever saw in that person and in most cases, lust is mutually broken.

Love is a choice which is why it is not an emotion like lust. You choose to love your children, not because you have to, I mean heck, you may down right despise them when they get older and treat you like crap (happens all the time) but you always choose to love them and you are committed to being there for them.

As for depression, you likely aren't depressed, you are just getting bombarded with emotions you can't handle. On one had you have your child and the relationship you built with her kids, on the other hand, you can't stand to be in the relationship with her anymore. You are pulling in two directions - which often times does feel like depression.

I hope all gets better for you.