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  1. #1

    Why are you expected to love someone just because they are related to you by blood?

    I'm obviously talking about your biological family. People often say "love your mother" or "love your family". But why? Why should I love them just because they are related to me by blood? Shouldn't you rather love someone because of how well you get along with them and not because they are genetically related to you? I cut off contact from my own family long ago cause I'm an atheist and they are conservative muslims. I sure as hell don't love them. Why should I love people that are completely intolerant of my beliefs? I do care about my close friends. Far more than I ever cared about my biological family. Yet, people always get weirded out when I tell them that I don't love my family. Why is that so strange? Why am I expected to love a collection of bigots just because they are related to me? Doesn't it make more sense to love people for their personality and not their biological relationship to you?

  2. #2
    Oh please, go fuck yourself

    Infracted
    Last edited by Darsithis; 2015-03-07 at 11:24 PM.

  3. #3
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    Completely agree with you really, you get to choose your friends but not your family, this is what I think makes friends more significant, if they're good ones.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by ohshift View Post
    Oh please, go fuck yourself
    Are you related to the OP?

  4. #4
    Elemental Lord Reg's Avatar
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    I don't love my family. In fact, I haven't seen anyone from my family in roughly 14 years.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by ohshift View Post
    Oh please, go fuck yourself
    Dad? Is that you?

  6. #6
    Warchief Arcanimus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Omgodzilla View Post
    I'm obviously talking about your biological family. People often say "love your mother" or "love your family". But why? Why should I love them just because they are related to me by blood? Shouldn't you rather love someone because of how well you get along with them and not because they are genetically related to you? I cut off contact from my own family long ago cause I'm an atheist and they are conservative muslims. I sure as hell don't love them. Why should I love people that are completely intolerant of my beliefs? I do care about my close friends. Far more than I ever cared about my biological family. Yet, people always get weirded out when I tell them that I don't love my family. Why is that so strange? Why am I expected to love a collection of bigots just because they are related to me? Doesn't it make more sense to love people for their personality and not their biological relationship to you?
    I think you're overreacting.

    Also, I'm pretty sure you're only supposed to not hate them until they do something you're unable to live with.

    I might just be an emotionless husk, though.
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  7. #7
    Well, it's convenient and makes the holidays less awkward.
    .

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  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Arcanimus View Post
    I think you're overreacting.

    Also, I'm pretty sure you're only supposed to not hate them until they do something you're unable to live with.

    I might just be an emotionless husk, though.
    But there really wasn't anyway to live with them. I was an atheist and all they ever did was try to convert me and yell at me because I've fallen under the command of Satan or some crap like that.
    Last edited by Omgodzilla; 2015-03-07 at 11:29 PM.

  9. #9
    The Insane Revi's Avatar
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    I wouldn't fault anyone for not loving a family member if they had done something really bad, but I do think you should at the very least try to love them. Unconditional love is a great thing to have.. That doesn't mean you have to show it or always get along, but I think not having that makes you just a little bit more alone in the world.

  10. #10
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    I hope you wont cannibalise them.

  11. #11
    people expect it because its human nature to be at the very least more inclined to care for people who are related to you. humans are pack animals and tribalistic, the closest thing we still have to that these days is the family unit.

    plenty of people dont love their family for a variety of reasons but its the norm for a reason.
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  12. #12
    When people say they hate their family because X, I tend to assume their family is average and they themselves are just pricks.

  13. #13
    Immortal SL1200's Avatar
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    Kids.... You won't undersand until you grow up. When you do you'll be embarrased at yourself for making this thread.

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    I love those who love me. Gladly, my father, mother, dog and girlfriend love me, so, for me, they are my family. Doge.exe and GF aren't blood related, but I interact with these beings almost daily, and that's what makes it family for me.
    I have some very... intense blood-related family members. I don't dislike then, because I generally don't dislike people, but I don't love then. Blood isn't a excuse for instant love! I'll only hate someone who purposely tries to make my life harder. Blood-related or not.

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Simulatio View Post
    When people say they hate their family because X, I tend to assume their family is average and they themselves are just pricks.
    ultra-conservative muslims that think atheists and homosexuals are arbiters of evil =/= average.

  16. #16
    Well I'd guess a lot of people are taking a strong stance against bacon not as serious unless they touched you in inappropriate places while hating bacon.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by SL1200 View Post
    Kids.... You won't undersand until you grow up. When you do you'll be embarrased at yourself for making this thread.
    I love my family, they have "earned" that love in the sense that they care about me and I care about them. At least the family on my mothers side, never cared for the people on the father side.

  18. #18
    Elemental Lord Reg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SL1200 View Post
    Kids.... You won't undersand until you grow up. When you do you'll be embarrased at yourself for making this thread.
    I am almost 30 and haven't seen a member of my family since I was 15. Am I old enough yet to understand?

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by cFortyfive View Post
    Well I'd guess a lot of people are taking a strong stance against bacon not as serious unless they touched you in inappropriate places while hating bacon.
    When I was a kid, I would sneak over to my friend's house and try some of his bacon. The first time I did it, I nearly had a heart attack cause I thought my mom find out and bash my head in. It was awesome though and the fact that my family was preventing me from eating bacon because some 1400 year old book said so was just another reason for me to hate them. It wasn't the only reason but it sure as hell made them look like bigger jerks in my eyes.

  20. #20
    Scarab Lord Nachturnal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vellerix View Post
    Completely agree with you really, you get to choose your friends but not your family, this is what I think makes friends more significant, if they're good ones.
    I believe this sums it up pretty well. I grew up in a pretty nice environment, single mom, always by myself. Very arrogant older sister, lazy, some times a wee bit abusive. Younger brother, pretty ghetto.

    I've cut ties with them the moment I moved out to go to college. I just never felt close, I never felt 'love' for them. Just felt like a group of people I had no choice but to stay with for a certain period of time.

    I really like the simplicity of what you said Vellerix. We certainly don't get to choose our family, definitely get to choose our friends, which is why I've had an enormous amount of love and respect for the people I've met in my life and who I've chosen to keep close. I'm not incapable of emotions, especially love. I understand being close to family is somewhat of the 'norm', however I do believe you aren't obligated to owe your family anything, even love them for that matter.

    All in all, my family was average. However, we barely interacted. No family dinners, no get togethers, no trips, no bonding. Just people living under the same roof. My mother found God, sort of damned me for not believing in all that religious mumbo jumbo. My sister the hypocrite constantly spewing how we have to love each other and bla bla.

    Do not regret my decision to cut ties at all. I consider my friends of many years family.
    Last edited by Nachturnal; 2015-03-07 at 11:41 PM.

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