Page 8 of 8 FirstFirst ...
6
7
8
  1. #141
    Geeez Bigzoman, sex isnt the be all to end all of a stable relationship.

    "Would you please let me join your p-p-party?

  2. #142
    Quote Originally Posted by THE Bigzoman View Post
    You would probably have fun like a good chunk of people do when they find parnters to explore their sexuality with.
    I'm not just looking for sex, my issue is that she wants to be in a relationship with me and I don't wish to be in one with her, add on the prom thing and then you have my problem. This isn't a sex fix problem situation.

  3. #143
    The Unstoppable Force THE Bigzoman's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Magnolia
    Posts
    20,767
    Quote Originally Posted by Mapathy View Post
    Geeez Bigzoman, sex isnt the be all to end all of a stable relationship.
    Why in the world should a stable relationship be, especially when we consider the OPs age?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by LokoKun View Post
    I'm not just looking for sex, my issue is that she wants to be in a relationship with me and I don't wish to be in one with her, add on the prom thing and then you have my problem. This isn't a sex fix problem situation.
    Well if she isn't showing signs of being interested in having sex with you I think you're still safe in the wanting a relationship regard.

    Prom isn't anything serious man. People go with people that aren't serious all the time. Say that a relationship isn't your goal atm, proceed, and see what happens.

  4. #144
    Quote Originally Posted by THE Bigzoman View Post
    The altrenetive is applying emotions where they aren't warranted or needed.

    And theres absoultely nothing wrong with pursuing someone with consensual sex as an endgame.
    The alternative would be not to be promiscuous or slutty.

    There's nothing wrong with lower self-esteem and objectification? And you say this as a black man?

  5. #145
    The Insane apepi's Avatar
    15+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Location
    Mostly harmless
    Posts
    19,388
    Quote Originally Posted by LokoKun View Post
    I'm not just looking for sex, my issue is that she wants to be in a relationship with me and I don't wish to be in one with her, add on the prom thing and then you have my problem. This isn't a sex fix problem situation.
    Prom still has not fucking happened yet? My old high school already had theirs.
    Time...line? Time isn't made out of lines. It is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round. ~ Caboose

  6. #146
    The Unstoppable Force THE Bigzoman's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Magnolia
    Posts
    20,767
    Quote Originally Posted by Raybourne View Post
    The alternative would be not to be promiscuous or slutty.

    There's nothing wrong with lower self-esteem and objectification? And you say this as a black man?
    Why would this lower her self esteem?

    And again, theres nothing wrong with just wanting sex.

  7. #147
    Sex isnt something that should be rushed into, its better to wait and find a willing partner.

    "Would you please let me join your p-p-party?

  8. #148
    Quote Originally Posted by apepi View Post
    Prom still has not fucking happened yet? My old high school already had theirs.
    It happens at the end of may

  9. #149
    The Unstoppable Force THE Bigzoman's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Magnolia
    Posts
    20,767
    Quote Originally Posted by Mapathy View Post
    Sex isnt something that should be rushed into, its better to wait and find a willing partner.
    And we know this girl isn't willing how?

  10. #150
    Quote Originally Posted by THE Bigzoman View Post
    Why would this lower her self esteem?

    And again, theres nothing wrong with just wanting sex.
    Promiscuous types tend to have lower self-esteem. Also being used just for sex tends to do that. In this context the girl is obviously looking for something more meaningful, but for some reason you keep pushing your way of life on them.

    There's nothing wrong with wanting it. It's what you do with that desire. It's ultimately how you act and the kind of person you are that matters.

  11. #151
    The Unstoppable Force THE Bigzoman's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Magnolia
    Posts
    20,767
    Quote Originally Posted by Raybourne View Post
    Promiscuous types tend to have lower self-esteem. Also being used just for sex tends to do that. In this context the girl is obviously looking for something more meaningful, but for some reason you keep pushing your way of life on them.

    There's nothing wrong with wanting it. It's what you do with that desire. It's ultimately how you act and the kind of person you are that matters.
    Who said anything about porking the promiscious (though I don't see the problem in that either)

    You can be kind to someone, have sex with them, and go your serperate ways. The last one is just life.

  12. #152
    Over 9000! Poppincaps's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Twilight Town
    Posts
    9,498
    Quote Originally Posted by THE Bigzoman View Post
    Why would this lower her self esteem?

    And again, theres nothing wrong with just wanting sex.
    Because from what the OP has suggested, she wants a serious relationship. If she has feelings for him then it is very unlikely that they can go into a friends with benefits type deal. Friends with benefits => Relationship = easy. Relationship => friends with benefits = not easy. It's hard enough to be in a purely sexual relationship without someone catching feels.

    So, it is likely that the only way he can hit it is if he manipulates her into thinking he wants a serious relationship.

  13. #153
    The Unstoppable Force THE Bigzoman's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Magnolia
    Posts
    20,767
    Quote Originally Posted by Poppincaps View Post
    Because from what the OP has suggested, she wants a serious relationship. If she has feelings for him then it is very unlikely that they can go into a friends with benefits type deal. Friends with benefits => Relationship = easy. Relationship => friends with benefits = not easy. It's hard enough to be in a purely sexual relationship without someone catching feels.

    So, it is likely that the only way he can hit it is if he manipulates her into thinking he wants a serious relationship.
    His reasoning is essentially based on an "eww porn" incident.

    I think he'll be fine.

  14. #154
    V
    Quote Originally Posted by Poppincaps View Post
    Because from what the OP has suggested, she wants a serious relationship. If she has feelings for him then it is very unlikely that they can go into a friends with benefits type deal. Friends with benefits => Relationship = easy. Relationship => friends with benefits = not easy. It's hard enough to be in a purely sexual relationship without someone catching feels.

    So, it is likely that the only way he can hit it is if he manipulates her into thinking he wants a serious relationship.
    That's on the list of things I don't really want to try... Seems like a bad idea to do that with her.

  15. #155
    The Lightbringer Kerath's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Gumdrop House, Lollipop Lane, Happy Land.
    Posts
    3,788
    If you're certain that you don't want to take things further, I think your best bet is to be honest and upfront with her. Try and be nice about it - but do try and make sure that she's clear on where she stands (or does not stand) with you. Speaking from my own experience, I find uncertainty and the feeling of being strung along to be worse than outright rejection.
    You can offer to still go to prom with her as friends - best to leave that ball in her court and see what she wants to do about it, I think.

    I would take relationship advice from Bigzoman with a pinch of salt. Sorry Bigzoman, but you seem pretty clueless beyond a 'hit it and quit it' kind of deal.
    Avatar and signature made by ELYPOP

  16. #156
    Quote Originally Posted by Kerath View Post
    If you're certain that you don't want to take things further, I think your best bet is to be honest and upfront with her. Try and be nice about it - but do try and make sure that she's clear on where she stands (or does not stand) with you. Speaking from my own experience, I find uncertainty and the feeling of being strung along to be worse than outright rejection.
    You can offer to still go to prom with her as friends - best to leave that ball in her court and see what she wants to do about it, I think.

    I would take relationship advice from Bigzoman with a pinch of salt. Sorry Bigzoman, but you seem pretty clueless beyond a 'hit it and quit it' kind of deal.
    Thanks for the really solid advice. I think that's the method I'm going to use, I know the feeling of being strung along and I won't force that on anyone else.

  17. #157
    I'll end this thread now with the conclusion of what happened. We had a nice long talk after school with each other and it turns out we both had the same exact feelings. We just wanted to be friends and not taking things any further since we didn't want to hurt each other. I told her I'd still like to take her to prom and she said she'd love to go still. I wasn't going to NOT take her to prom because her Junior Prom ticket sales already ended and we're not going to that, plus she already bought her dress. I'm not a douche-bag.

    Anyways, that's the conclusion of this story. I'm officially single (Not like I wasn't REALLY single before) and I would like to thank everyone in this thread for the plethora of great advice and information that helped me get through this and hopefully will help me in the future.

    You're all beautifully amazing people,
    ~LokoKun

  18. #158
    Good luck and have fun at prom :3

    "Would you please let me join your p-p-party?

  19. #159
    Quote Originally Posted by Mapathy View Post
    Good luck and have fun at prom :3
    Thank you

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •