What was the funniest way you injured yourself?

[tumppu]

Dunno if "funny" is the right word for these, but:

- As a kid, I wanted to try if I could stick my finger under the needle in a sewing machine and pull it out faster than the needle comes back down. I could not. Apparently the doctor in the hospital described the injury as "nice zigzag threadwork".

- Still as a kid, we were playing "chicken" of a sort with a pushed lawnmower, the kind which has rotating blades along the axle, you push it to make the blades spin. We were jumping away from the front of it in the last minute. I jumped a bit too late. The bone in my big toe split into two parts right down the middle.

- As a slightly older kid, we tried rock climbing. I made it ~4 meters up a 5 meter rock face and slipped. Only a twisted ankle that time.

- Paintball as an even older "kid", I got shot in the mouth once, while only wearing goggles, no mask. That paint tastes bad, but no other injuries. Bought a mask the next day.

[Fus Ro Yay]

I broke my arm once.
playing football.

[Toccs]

- Paintball as an even older "kid", I got shot in the mouth once, while only wearing goggles, no mask. That paint tastes bad, but no other injuries. Bought a mask the next day.

In England you have to wear a mask, but evenw ith it you can still be shot in the ear which is quite painful.

[Erolian]

Uhh first one I was probably ~9 years old riding a bike with a piece of PVC pipe that was probably around 6 feet long if I had to guess. Who knows why I was 9. Thought it was a good idea to hold it out in front of me and the front end got stuck on the ground and as I was riding a bike I obviously flew straight into it at full force. Still have a small circular dent/outline in my chest to this day although you can only feel it.

Second one I'm 15 and me and my friend are laughing hysterically about how a cat jumped out from under a bed and scared the shit out of him by hissing and grabbing his foot. So he turns and just walks straight into the fucking wall and falls onto the floor. I guess he was thinking he was going to go down the hallway. At this point I start laughing even harder because of how ridiculously stupid it was. I just could not stop laughing and then I suddenly passed out and woke up a few minutes later. Should have probably tried to breathe during that somewhere.

[Deleted]

I once tried to jump off my friends porch into a pool, however, I didn't notice that my foot had got stuck in a wierd-ass position under the fence... I ended up jumping off, but only getting as far as a stuck foot would get you. I slammed into the wall below in a cartoonish fashion with a huge pain in my foot that luckly only got sprained.
Still laugh about it sometimes, must've looked so darn stupid.

[Juozas]

Racing my cousin down the hill, riding inline skates. Not wearing any protection at all. Tripped over a small branch, somersaulted, I think I spun around my center of gravity at least a couple of times. Landed on my bare back and skidded several meters over the asphalt. Now if anyone would ask me how is that funny, I'd refer them to any "skating fail compilation".

Riding my bike, lifted up the front wheel to get on to the sidewalk, only to see the front wheel detach itself, and go on it's own way, leaving me wondering, why did I not tighten the bolts that hold it properly. Faceplanted.

Making a pipebomb with my buddy, somehow I got the idea that I could just chop with an axe through the small plastic pipe instead of using a saw like any sane person. Chopped the tip of my left ring finger off. I was both laughing and crying at the same time, while dripping blood everywhere. Went back up, found my dad watching TV, "don't tell mom but I chopped my finger off".

Right about that time, during my teenage years, CKY videos, and later on Jackass, became a thing, and that was whole new era of stupid. To put it in words of Roger Alan Wade - if you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough.

[Stormkhan]

Excited and dancing. Broke my back and the last 4 years have been grim...

[aryianna]

I cut my wrist with a frozen pierogi trying to separate two that were frozen together. When they pulled apart it slid across my wrist and cut deep enough I was bleeding. I think suffered the taunting of trying to commit suicide by pierogi from my friends. Come to think of it, I'm not sure why they are my friends.

[Sunnydruid]

When I was in high school my mother used to wake me up(I never woke up for my alarm because, when I did bother to actually go to school, I hated it). She would always have to call me 3-4 times for me to get up and she would always lie and say that I only had 10 minutes to get to school when really I had 40, it made me rush around and get moving.

So one day she calls up to me "SUNNY GET THE HELL UP YOU'RE ALREADY LATE - I WAS OUTSIDE DOING SOMETHING AND DIDN'T CHECK THE TIME" I thought...shit I'm going to get another suspension for tardies. So I jump up not even thinking, still basically asleep, and sprint straight into a wall. It was literally like the comedy movies you see where someone walks into a revolving door or a really clean piece of glass. I just walked right into this huge wall. I broke my middle toe instantly. When I say broke it I mean I actually managed to push the bone further in then it should be and crack the bone. Wow, talk about some serious pain. I yelled and my mother was rolling on the floor laughing(we have a dark sense of humor in our family). I couldn't walk putting full weight on that foot for about 3 weeks, never told my mom it was broken because I know the docs couldn't do much but rebreak it and put it in a stint and that sounded awfully painful at the time. I still can't even bend that toe. It doesn't hurt it just doesn't bend anymore and you can feel where it broke.


Number 2- I was cutting a bagel from the bakery with a serrated bread knife and cut so fast and hard it literally split my nail in 2 and into my skin. That actually made me cry a bit from the pain.

Number 3- When I was much younger I had a really really bad temper. I guess it was puberty at the time making my hormones go crazy, none the less it was bad. I was skateboarding with my best friend and I couldn't land a trick or something of that sort so I thought it was a great idea to punch a nice solid brick wall. I don't know if I thought I was The Hulk or what but the bricks definitely didn't move. I ended up basically crushing part of my knuckle off, I still have that scar today.

[Annoying]

I've had my nose broken 3 times. All 3 were putting my face above my dog's face, followed by them jerking their head up.
I also broke a vertebra by missing my rolling chair when trying to sit down. I've got wood floors, and sat too close to the edge, and it rolled right away.