3 Stikes:Why boys vanish after the third date.

[Jester Joe]

There's a force that will sweep them.

Just need the right broom.

Plus, pursuing a woman for over a year? Nothing is worth that.

I think we've already clashed enough about this before in the past, probably just have different types!

But I know some people who would literally hate sex, but want a relationship. They just don't have the drive, I'm not sure what causes it again, maybe lack of hormones, but they do exist, and ain't no broom gonna sweep that.

Well, unless you like, ooze medicine of some sort that would fix that on them.

[slime]

There's a force that will sweep them.

Just need the right broom.

Plus, pursuing a woman for over a year? Nothing is worth that.

Well, if she is really rich and paying for everything - then I would still date her gladly... and probably just be fucking someone else.

[Endus]

If I consider someone as a potential partner, seeing them 3 times isn't anywhere close enough for me to have sex with them if I want it to be a relationship. I want to be sure they're not just there for the sex, thus waiting with it. Have had too many who have just gotten out of there once they've gotten to have sex.

Would be easier if the guys who just want to fuck you and then nothing more would say so from the start instead of trying to get you into almost a relationship just to have sex with you and then leave and you end up getting sad.

While I recognize the desire for guys to stick around (I'm a relatively relationship-oriented dude myself, FWIW; I don't "hit it and quit it"), sex is a pretty integral part of a romantic relationship. It's arguably THE core difference between a romantic relationship and just a friendship.

I don't agree with arbitrary "put-out" timelines, but if the dating isn't gonna turn into a physical relationship, then I'm not really sure why I'm spending time trying to establish a romantic relationship with someone who clearly isn't interested in the same kind of physical intimacy that I am. Doesn't mean I'm saying "put out by the third date or I'm done", but if it gets to the point where I feel you're avoiding taking things to that next step, then I have to ask myself, why?

If it's me, then it isn't gonna work out, because you're not that into me and you're stringing me along.
If it's you, then we either need to talk about it, so you can let me know what's holding you back, or I'm gonna assume it's me, and that you're stringing me along.
If it's something else, then clearly you aren't ready for a romantic relationship, and we're both wasting each other's time (this includes things like not being over your ex, just having a major life crisis, etc).

I think pretty little of dudes who just want another stamp on their "girls I've scored with" card, but avoiding physical intimacy isn't really a healthy option, either.

[Deleted]

Largely an American phenomenon btw.

My experience in Europe when not having been married or in a long term relationship was that normal people met through social activities or work and stuff "developed" or didn't. In a case like that you probably know someone better than "3 dates in" even if you end up sleeping together after only spending time alone together once. Though maybe the recent rise in popularity of internet dating means it has started to take place outside the states too.

The three rule thing does seem like a widely accepted unspoken rule in the US though. Seems a bit daft and a form of prescribed behaviour.

[Deleted]

Well, unless you like, ooze medicine

Plsno. Wat.

[nextormento]

I don't understand how people that are interested in sex don't just vanish after the first one without sex.
If you are looking for sex, what's the incentive to sexless dating?.

[ro9ue]

I guess you haven't met the girls who refuse to even do anything for people after a year. There ain't no force on Earth that will make them put out in two dates.

Oh those girls definitely exist. They just aren't ones I'll date... ever. As I got older I pretty much cut to the chase. If I want to fuck a girl I let it be known and whatever happens happens. But I'm not going to go on 23 dates before I can feel a boob. Da fuck.

[Fencers]

2. Given how sex is viewed a lot better now, the whole "i'm not like that" doesn't fly for me. Not only is promiscuity a good thing, but non religious people who say this are full of shit. It's basically saying "i've done it for others, just not you". There's always that one guy that a girl has put out for in at least two dates guaranteed.

LOL. No.

This is actually total bullshit. Myself and no girlfriend I ever had has acted this way.

My girlfriends could be fibbing. Possibly. But most women talk very personally with their girlfriends and I trust mine are truthful. Though barring this, my sisters have not behaved in this manner and I know this factually.

However, even assuming one of my sisters slept around without my knowing- the statement is utter bullshit generalizing that holds no weight except to say the person making the statement is doing so from a very heterosexual, male sexual dominance view of sex.

[Jester Joe]

Oh those girls definitely exist. They just aren't ones I'll date... ever. As I got older I pretty much cut to the chase. If I want to fuck a girl I let it be known and whatever happens happens. But I'm not going to go on 23 dates before I can feel a boob. Da fuck.

Oh I have no problem with that being someone's decision, I just wanted to point out there are women out there who won't put out that easily.

[Revi]

Sex should happen when it's natural. Shouldn't be forced because of some "3-date" rule, but if she's actively avoiding it I'd take that as a lack of interest.

[Endus]

I don't understand how people that are interested in sex don't just vanish after the first one without sex.
If you are looking for sex, what's the incentive to sexless dating?.

Eventual sex.

Really, it would be better if they stuck with those hook-up apps, or visited prostitutes. The three-date rule is basically a way to evaluate what your time is worth, and the cost of the dates, and whether it's "worth it" to "pay" more for the sex you're expecting to get. A prostitute would generally be about the same price, and without wasting anyone's time with dishonesty about the expectations.

That's why I said in my post, I think physical intimacy is a big part of a romantic relationship, but I don't set a deadline it has to occur by; I just need to know it's on the table; if it isn't, you're not interested in a romantic relationship, and you're stringing me along. That doesn't mean "sex now", it means you need to find me attractive and want that kind of intimacy, because if you don't, why are we dating?

[Mayhem]

You think most people will have sex with someone after only meeting them twice.
In fact, not just most people, you said "every girl, guaranteed".
That's just clearly ridiculous, 2 dates is an extremely low number for most people.

The majority of my dates ended between the sheets.

[Revi]

Well yeah, I don't think anyone is talking about "forcing" anything. But the criteria doesn't seem any more unreasonable than any other entry on the laundry list of things that people will turn down potential partners for.

Just seems arbitrary. If you don't like her, stop seeing her regardless of sex. If you do like her, why throw that away because she haven't put out?

[Deleted]

Plus, pursuing a woman for over a year? Nothing is worth that.

Pursued one woman for 3-4 years. Only spent a matter of hours together. Still the most worthwhile thing I've ever done with my life.

If sex is nothing but a physical act to you, then you're welcome to hold that view; women who think similarly won't have a problem, and women that are into the emotional and sensual side of things will get away from you before anything happens, so there's no real harm done.

But I like women that'll make me wait. I make them wait as well; it's part of the fun. We stimulate eachother with thought-provoking conversation to make sure the relationship has lasting potential (You can sleep with literally anyone; only a handful of people will meet your conversational sense perfectly) and then play the suspense and tension game with the sex; see who holds out longer, and stuff like that. Sex is more fun if you utilize everything that surrounds it as well.

[THE Bigzoman]

Just seems arbitrary. If you don't like her, stop seeing her regardless of sex. If you do like her, why throw that away because she haven't put out?

Usually theres a lack of good chemistry in those situations.

[Deleted]

A three date rule? This is a thing?

It just seems like such an odd criteria for a relationship really.

[Kalis]

The majority of my dates ended between the sheets.

It doesn't count if you are the only one between the sheets.

[Deleted]

The majority of my dates ended between the sheets.

Your new avatar makes it hard to read your posts seriously...

[THE Bigzoman]

A three date rule? This is a thing?

It just seems like such an odd criteria for a relationship really.

It's not criteria for a relationship.

[Mayhem]

It doesn't count if you are the only one between the sheets.

You can do better.

Your new avatar makes it hard to read your posts seriously...

Well, let´s see if i find a more seriously looking potato.