Why does one gender get upset when the opposite gender gets fanservice?

[Pull My Finger]

Saw lots of guys hating 50 Shades of Gray and ladies hating sexy girls in video games; lots of gays hating yaoi and ladies hating the sexualisation of lesbians, too. Why's that? What's wrong with sexy stuff that is not meant for your half of the population?

People feel threatened by fictional characters that have been sexualized with great effort. They feel inadequate when they see the opposite sex lose their minds and drool over a film celebrity or an anatomically impossible cartoon character. Your average Joe/Jane can never live up to the appeal of some actor who gets paid to spend 6 hours a day in the gym, has personal trainers for fitness, nutrition and whatnot, and sits in the make-up room for two hours before they put them in front of a camera, under flattering lighting conditions. Then they CGI and color grade the hell out of the footage and real people kind of look rather unassuming compared to this artistic figure.

[Daita Tetsu]

idk, was there a huge outcry from straight dudes over Wolverine's ass in the last X-men movie? Who cares, douchebags' gonna douche.

hugh jackman was so oppressed after doing xmen he made that shitty robot boxing movie #endthematriarchy

but seriously, the wrong people have been breeding that we have problems like this

[Xilurm]

The hating on movies thing is stupid. It's a movie - STFU and don't watch it if you don't agree with it. Wanting to censor movies because you're offended by them is asinine.

Fuck that and fuck you.

(not the OP and no1 here)

Games too. But people get offended quite alot these days.

[Realsykes]

Insecurities.

Entitlement.

Boredom.

Misplaced anger/other emotional drags.

More is at work here, the one's who are guilty just won't admit it, though.

[Xilurm]

double standards

http://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/aD0OR4O_700b_v1.jpg

Women tend to get more vocal about it that's for sure.

[Cthulhu 2020]

The outrage about 50 shades isn't for the sexualization, because there really isn't much of it. It's about the abuse.

[Xilurm]

The outrage about 50 shades isn't for the sexualization, because there really isn't much of it. It's about the abuse.

Yeah, apparently it was BDSM. But that's not what BDSM is about.

[Endus]

Saw lots of guys hating 50 Shades of Gray and ladies hating sexy girls in video games; lots of gays hating yaoi and ladies hating the sexualisation of lesbians, too. Why's that? What's wrong with sexy stuff that is not meant for your half of the population?

I have no problems with "sexy", for either gender. I have issues when it's misrepresented, or mischaracterizes things.

50 Shades of Grey, for instance; I haven't read it, but the excerpts/etc I've read definitely show that the relationship is an abusive relationship, not a loving BDSM relationship; it should be a horror story, not a love story. But it's represented as a love story.

By way of comparison, go watch Secretary, with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal. It's just a better film, in every way, and a healthier BDSM relationship; if the two of them are both damaged (and the film is clear that they are), they're each the best salve to the other's pains and needs. It also explores the power dynamic of a BDSM relationship much more healthily.

double standards

<Barbie and He-man pic>

This comparison irks me.

He-man is a fantasy archetype. His archenemy is a guy with a skull for a head, and he rides a giant green tigercat. No matter what I do, I'm not gonna be riding a green tigercat or wielding a magic powersword.

Barbie is always presented as a representation of normalcy. She's a girl, like anyone else. Nothing about her is represented as fantastical, which means she tacitly represents a supposedly achievable goal.

If you wanted to compare She-ra and He-man, that would be a reasonable comparison (but She-ra is also, ironically, not as ridiculously proportioned as Barbie). Or compare Barbie to a more "normal", real-world male figure; either Ken from her same line, or something like G.I. Joe. Those are still obviously very fit men, but they aren't as impossibly figured as Barbie herself (or He-man, but they aren't as fantastical as He-man clearly is).

On the broader notion of women being sexualized in comics/video games; I do take issue with the idea that a woman in a skintight lycra suit is "sexualized", but a man in the same suit is a "male power fantasy". They're both sexualized. They're both power fantasies. And if you want examples of how that male figure is sexualized for women, just look at the covers of bodice-tearer novels; there's almost always a shirtless buff dude:


(images snagged from a quick google image search).

These books are aimed at an almost exclusively female audience, so clearly, this is a sexualization of the male figure intended for women. And I'm okay with that. And I'll point out that the same applies to superheroes clad in lycra.

That doesn't mean comics and video games are without sin. The "superheroine pose to show off boobs AND butt" is stupid and contrived 99% of the time. But it isn't nearly as one-sided as some people make it out to be.

[Realsykes]

You know what most guys do who get called out for not being swole enough?

They go to the gym. They do something about it. Instead of just accepting a so-called , "fate," or slowly convincing themselves that they can't change and so on. It goes back and forth.

The women who are active or who care enough make changes. I'm a firm believer that if you care about it enough, if it's truly something you want, you will do something about it and put forth your all. When someone complains to me how unfit they are and that they're doing everything they can, I just smile and nod.

If you want it bad enough, go fucking get it. Willpower, people.

[Pull My Finger]

double standards

That's pretty simplified and not quite fair. It's easy to scream double standards.

I mean, who do you think creates discourse? Do we have some external council to start topics, some kind of comittee? Who makes something "a thing", if not people themselves?

The things is: the talk is always about female objectification because women started to address it big time. They went ahead and made it a topic. Men just simply have a lot of catching-up to do. They don't like admitting insecurity, they don't want to appear troubled or "weak" or admit feelings of inadequacy. They fear it diminishes their masculinity. It just doesn't fit the stereotype. A real man don't have time for BS, a real guy has to "man up" and be cool. And that's why you don't hear about this stuff as much as you hear about female issues.

It's a very important factor that can't be ignored if one is seriously reflecting on the whole thing. The latest couple of male generations have been the most vocal ones in this regard. We do have this new breed of snivelling and rather pussified guys. So that's kind of changing by now.

[taliey]

Well I too would like to be showered with attention.

But then I realize I have better fucking things to do than to manufacture faux outrage and complaints about things that take up at most, 10 seconds of my life.

[Polyxo]

If only more men looked like He-Man. /sigh

Dat haircut

[Xilurm]

So it's ok for the male to be sexualized but not for the female because the game/comic isn't targeted only for men? How the heck does that work?

[Noradin]

I thought people hated 50 Shades of Grey because it has a dumb story.

Shh. That doesn't fit the narrative.

[Tydrane]

Saw lots of guys hating 50 Shades of Gray and ladies hating sexy girls in video games; lots of gays hating yaoi and ladies hating the sexualisation of lesbians, too. Why's that? What's wrong with sexy stuff that is not meant for your half of the population?

Hey, my hatred of 50 Shades has nothing to do with women. It's about society in general preferring mediocrity to something of quality - read an excerpt of the books (that's as much as I can stand to read of them), they're fucking atrocious. Or, just look at how many people LOVE Game of Thrones but have never read a Song of Ice and Fire book (not saying that GoT is bad, but the books are vastly superior).

[Deleted]

Not a fan of 50 shades of grey. Someone gave me the book to read last yearish, I haven't read even half of it yet. I don't even know where it is anymore.

It seemed pretty bad to read, at least to me. <.<

[ElDoorO]

Anyone actually in to S&M hates 50 shades. That's gender agnostic. It's just all kinds of wrong in the S&M field. It's almost exactly what you don't do in real life.
In fantasy land -- it's GREAT but the REAL problem comes from the new comer S&M folk who don't understand the lines between reality and fantasy very well. This makes for a dangerous combination and a lack of safety. Many of the most fun I've had was in the form of pure fantasy that could never happen in real life and we both enjoyed it knowing good and well it could never happen. We've also had realistic fantasies that we did pull off in real life. 50 Shades does nothing to show respect to these.

I've had women tell me this: "I want you to do everything even if I might not like it." -- umm what? Could you be a little more specific there? You're essentially, possibly, asking me to rape you in a way you don't like with no way of saying no. Now only one of my sub's would have actually been cool with that (she was *hardcore*) but the rest, I tried to make fairly clear what expectations where at the start and how to stop if something goes wrong.

Then you walk in to the dangerous TPE / 24x7 servitude. I've met one like this and it was nice and all but the problem was she expected me to be a mind reader. She wanted to live to serve me but at the same time have me do things she wanted without having to tell me. No can do buddy, I need you to speak up if you need / desire something. I can't read your mind. Now sexually this sounds fun and all until you realize you can't have sex 24x7 and need to dictate the rest of their lives... which is like running two or more lives at once. The importance here is to offer them a safe way out in these situations (e.g. here's $500 and a plane ticket to wherever your need to go to start over). This is the real world -- you don't want someone to feel trapped. They won't have fun and enjoy themselves that way.

50 Shades, for all intents and purposes, is porn for women. Much like Romance Novels are porn for women -- but 50 Shades is, simply, dangerous. It's been great to get people to learn that being kink is acceptable though but it's been horrible in the realm of safety. Binding someone with rope without having the appropriate tools to cut the rope in an emergency is a Bad Idea (TM) and many won't think about that until there's an emergency and it's too late.

I can but merely speculate a sexual insecurity of the relevant genders due to their failure to discuss their interests with their partners.

I play hot chicks in games because I like the female body a lot. I'm horny. Go figure.
If a chick I'm dating reads porn, watches porn, or goes to movies with very attractive male figures -- I'm not insecure about that. Enjoy yourself. You know it's fantasy, I know it's fantasy, and to be frank -- if that ultra hot male model offers you a one night stand I'd totally let him do you just for the once-in-a-lifetime event.

Love.. that's where it really is. Everything else is dynamic and fluid but requires communication.

tl;dr: People are insecure fucks who can't talk about it because they are afraid because fear of judgment dominates them.

[Endus]

People keep saying to watch that other movie, but what I question is: why do people think '50 Shades of Grey' was trying to accurately show the 'correct' BDSM relationship? It's not a documentary. It's not meant to give people information. It's a movie. It's for entertainment purposes only.

And what it portrays is an extremely abusive relationship, where the man is abusive towards the woman. And it portrays that abuse as "romantic". That last bit is the issue; if this were a movie about how awful a person Grey was, there would be no uproar.

Same goes for Twilight, which 50 Shades started out as fanfiction of (and I've actually read Twilight; I got it as a gag gift for my birthday a few years back and read it pretty much just so I would be well-informed as to how godawful it is). They portray abusive relationships by controlling shitheads as if they were romantic.

Imagine if someone wrote a book about how a girl felt it was so romantic that her boyfriend loved her enough to beat the shit out of her for no reason. That's no different than what 50 Shades is doing; portraying classic abuse as if it were romantic.

If some guy/girl wanted to go into the Military and needed info/tips on Basic Training, are you going to go tell him/her to watch 'Full Metal Jacket' or some other Military movie? Perhaps G.I. Jane?

No, of course you wouldn't.

It's more like telling someone about what a great love story the Hannibal Lecter series is, and that Lecter is just soooo dreamy, with such great taste in food.

[Themius]

I have no problems with "sexy", for either gender. I have issues when it's misrepresented, or mischaracterizes things.

50 Shades of Grey, for instance; I haven't read it, but the excerpts/etc I've read definitely show that the relationship is an abusive relationship, not a loving BDSM relationship; it should be a horror story, not a love story. But it's represented as a love story.

Speaking of:

Bonomi's first study, published in 2013, used the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's definitions of emotional abuse and sexual violence to conclude that "emotional abuse is present in nearly every interaction" between Christian and Anastasia and that "sexual violence is pervasive." The second, published in 2014, found that women who read "Fifty Shades of Grey" were more likely than those who didn't to have had an abusive partner and to have engaged in risky health behaviors like binge drinking and disordered eating (though certainly the research did not imply that the book caused these effects).

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/amy-b...#ixzz3Zg9ztbyy

I never read the book but wtf O_O:

AB: Every interaction involves abuse. Christian stalks Anastasia, intimidates her verbally, and socially isolates her. That's the name of the game in abusive relationships: isolating someone from family and friends.

She tells him she feels demeaned, debased, and abused, and he says, "Well, you need to embrace those feelings and deal with them the way a real submissive would." He minimizes her concerns. And he uses alcohol and sexual violence to impair Anastasia's consent — he begins a lot of sexual interactions when he is genuinely angry with her. Those are two big red flags.



Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/amy-b...#ixzz3ZgAX7uft

[GennGreymane]

what does the scouter say about your power level?

its over 8000!!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

He-Man has nothing on you, baby.

awww yeee babe