"Playable on the toilet" - what games aspire to now?

[Saucerian]

So HS is the fastest growing game ever. I can't say I'm enthused.

Surely anyone like me who's loved video games since the days of Atari or the NES can't really be happy about this. Over decades now I've watched the genre evolve as hardware improved and game design improved in turn. The interactivity, depth, and beauty of the medium grew.

And now we have this. This is not evolution so much as decay. Games made for a market that cares so little about games they can't be bothered with them if they're not playable a few minutes at a time while defecating, but somehow also doesn't mind being suckered out of obscene amounts of money via overt P2W and microtransaction designs.

I'm aware games have always had to make money and have always been designed for it, to an extent. But never before like this. Arcade games ate quarters just by being really difficult. Now, studios hire behavioral scientists and hone their game designs to resemble slot machines as closely as possible.

A few months ago I erased every single game from my phone in frustration. I decided pretty much anything else would be time better spent, like sleep. But I know people like me are the tiny minority. The worst part is I'm not sure it will ever go away. It costs almost nothing to crap out games like this. Throw it on an app store, hook whoever you can, and when they're bored of it in a month, repeat. Ad infinitum.

Yes, I think crap works as a metaphor for the state of gaming on all levels. Crap games, for people who want something to play while crapping, by companies who don't give a crap for the medium, and crap on their customers with the most sinister, casino-like money harvesting designs yet. I hope for the day the masses decide gaming like this isn't even worth bothering, and stop giving companies money for it.

[Post]

If you ignore all the amazing games that come out that you can't play on the toilet sure.

[Pull My Finger]

Uh ... aren't you sweeping with very broad brushes there?

What exactly did you expect from mobile phone games? To aspire to the virtues of Zelda, Baldur's Gate, Half-Life and all the greats? Do you buy "50 Shades of Grey" hoping for a read that holds up to Ecos "Focault's Pendulum"?

And why lump Hearthstone in there? It's a card game, for God's sake. A damn fine one at that. It is what it is. Why not make - or play - a small, immediate, instantly fun game every once in a while.

I agree that most games out there are crap. But products like Hearthstone aren't the culprit.

[grimsanta]

1. Hardware, and therefore graphics, do not make the game. Just because something is beautiful to look at doesn't make it a great game.

2. You're confusing two different markets of games. The fact that I play hearthstone has taken nothing away from the fact that I still play other games.

3. I don't understand what you have against phone games. I personally think Hearthstone is great because of its simplicity. Yes, there are a lot of completely crappy phone games out there like Candy Crush, but there are fun matching games like Ani Sachun (korean game), plants vs zombies is OK, hardest game ever is fun if you like a challenge, etc...

[Nachturnal]

Uh... They're mobile games. What are you expecting? Full-fledged Mass Effect universe games? On your iPhone? They're meant to be quick, and enjoyable during down time, or on the move.

On the toilet, in the train, at the store, on the bus, on the plane, doesn't matter. They're meant for quick bursts of enjoyment. There are some nicer somewhat full-fledged games on mobile platforms, but you can only do so much. Ipad's aren't exactly rocking GTX Titans.

Does it suck that most mobile games have micro-transactions? Well yeah sure, but it's expected at this point, and it shouldn't be an issue if you have a modicum of self-restraint. You're riding on the premise that mobile games should be on par with consoles/pcs.

[Deleted]

Thing about HS and games like that is that they CAN'T loose players, simply because there is no subscription. For example I have HS on my acc, I mean why not, it's free and I played it like twice when it came out, yet I still count as one of the players. It's same for LoL example, I tried it once 3 years ago, yet I still count as player. Everyone I know and their mother has HS on his/her acc, but do they play it? There aren't 30 million HS "players" who are willing to spend money on it, it's just a big number of accounts who have HS on, not actual players who play it daily and spend cash on it.

[Nutri]

I can play pretty nifty games on a PS Vita while taking a crap. Can even play GTA V via PS4 remoteplay during my morning dump if I wanted to.

[Tech614]

Never understood people who take 30 mins to do number 2.

In and out in 2 mins tops.

Eat some damn fiber people.

[Kelimbror]

Eat some damn fiber people.

You won the thread. Both overt humor and sound advice.

OP, your complaint is as contrived as it is weightless. No games aspire to be something you play in a specific situation, but developing any game for a mobile platform will ensure people can play them while not being restricted to a keyboard + mouse at a desktop computer.

This has been happening since we had handheld games since 1976, popularized by Nintendo in 1989, and fully developed in our current era of smartphones and tablets.

[Cattleya]

You seem to have an irrational hate for HS. I don't even play it because card games aren't my thing, but I can admit it's a great game.

Anyway, yeah, mobile games are generally supposed to be played in short bursts and/or on the move, that's kind of the point. Keep the giant immersive worlds where you don't get anywhere in less than 30 minutes confined to PC and consoles.

Slightly related, simple control schemes are an absolute must in mobile games for me. Most action and/or 3D mobile games have a control scheme that's a pain in the ass on my Nexus 5.

[RoninaThorstone]

OP, your complaint is as contrived as it is weightless.

Agreed, it's quite pedantic. *adjusts monocle*

[Mister Cheese]

You realize marketing is trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator right? They always have been.

[Treno]

You mean other people don't play WoW on the toilet for hours on end?

[unholytestament]

Looking for the game of the year on the app store was your first mistake... Among many, many more mistakes the OP shows you made.

[Xargoth6634]

The only game I have on my phone is a Sudoku app, and that's because that game arguably works your brain out a little bit. I make it a point not to have games on my phone since I'd never get shit done if I did. Plus most phone games are mind-numbingly stupid.

[ro9ue]

Threes is a better toilet game.

[MrHappy]

That is a valid point....if this is OP's toilet


EDIT: sorry for the large image

[TheTaurenOrc]

I used to get adverts for an anime app on facebook (have no idea why I dont even watch anime) and one of the selling points was you could watch it anywhere, on the bus, at the dinner table, on the toilet... I was like dafuq

[Keile]

This is why I got a WiiU.

Mario Kart 8 on the toilet.
Smash Bros on the toilet.
Wind Waker HD on the toilet.
Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate on the toilet.
Hyrule Warriors on the toilet.

and so on and so on.

WiiU is the ULTIMATE console for playing on the toilet (so long as your toilet is within about 20ft from your console. My room is right next to the bathroom so I have 0 issues).

OK that out of the way, what really appeals to me in a game is:

1) Replayability
2) Story
3) Progression system (I like little RPG elements)
5) Length (hate paying $60 for like....5 hours worth of game, this doesnt usually factor into mobile but this list is the same as I use for console/pc releases)
6) Graphics

Some mobile games offer all of these, though good ones are few and far between. It is rare to find a truly good mobile game that isnt just a port or remake of an older release.

In generally that order, though it may fluctuate a bit. Graphics usually is never a seller for me (otherwise I'd have wasted money on The Order. Short game and mostly QTE...but my god is it gorgeous).

[IIamaKing]

I love toilet games. Have to have something to do while I drop the kids off.