Is having online-friends in lieu of IRL friends sad?

[Shinra1]

Or even having more online-friends than IRL friends?

I personally don't have anyone I would consider an online-friend mainly because I don't come online seeking friendship, there's something desperate about that, I come to socialise with IRL friends/play games/interact with people but I won't call them friends. I am a member of a number of online communities and obviously one of that is WoW's but I don't have a single online friend. I don't know why that is just literally went through all the different games I play and websities I visit but I couldn't come up with a single friend who I only interact with online.

Don't get me wrong I have people I play with like guildies for example but I wouldn't say they're friends more of a convenient aacquaintance.

One thing that makes me wary of online friendships is their tenuous nature and the fact that the other person can leave the convo at any time without the ability to seek them out IRL/or approach them for an explanation. In that regard I view online friendships as disingenuous ngand decidedly superficial.


What do you think?

[Independent voter]

A friend is a friend.

[Darksoldierr]

I think that if you think

there's something desperate about that

this, then that tell much of you.

[deadman1]

I personally don't have anyone I would consider an online-friend mainly because I don't come online seeking friendship, there's something desperate about that

Why, what is the difference?

Don't get me wrong I have people I play with like guildies for example but I wouldn't say they're friends more of a convenient aacquaintance.

Sounds like you use people.

[Shinra1]

A friend is a friend.

even the imaginary ones? I'm messing with u


So you think it doesn't matter what context they exist in?

[fly]

It takes faith and trust to be a part of something more ethereal than a tangible relationship. It's hard; life is short, but the friends you let into your life either IRL or in-game can "stop the conversation" just the same.

I would hope people would vet who it is they hang out with and typically you would want to associate with people who share the same core values that you do.

With the way people hop raids, guilds, etc all the time most of the time it feels like people are looking out for themselves (Which is what people tend to do first). They want their purps and everyone else be damned if they can't get what they want.

This is why our community has a lengthy application and interview process to ascertain if people are going to be a right fit. Even then, it doesn't always go right. But with our process 90% of the time it does.

[deadman1]

So you think it doesn't matter what context they exist in?

They are real human beings on the other side of the game/voice chat why would it be different?

[Doctor Amadeus]

It depends on what you consider a friend, I would say yes, because, being friends with people online vs real life says to me more about who you actually, although in RL a person could be just as much a put on, bottom line I think Having more Online Friends than offline, or friends you ONLY have online, is more what I consider friendzoning rather than actually friends.

[Shinra1]

Why, what is the difference?



Sounds like you use people.

There's a difference because one friend you see and you know IRL which means you can be more intimate with and your actions/conversations have much higher stakes because they have real life implications. Whereas online friendships can dissipate with little reprecussion even if one of the two(or however many) decides to breach your confidentiality and trust.

I don't use people online I just keep them at arm's length.

A good friend told me once "don't form an umbilical with anyone online lest they use it to strangle you".

[deadman1]

There's a difference because one friend you see and you know IRL which means you can be more intimate with and your actions/conversations have much higher stakes because they have real life implications.

I don't agree with that. I don't see how that is true.

Whereas online friendships can dissipate with little reprecussion even if one of the two(or however many) decides to breach your confidentiality and trust.

No, because it will have emotional repercussions to both parties as it would if they were real life friends.

I don't use people online I just keep them at arm's length.

But why?

A good friend told me once "don't form an umbilical with anyone online lest they use it to strangle you".

What?
"don't form an umbilical with anyone IRL lest they use it to strangle you"

[ComputerNerd]

Lack of income means I don't have the means of sustaining the commonplace "social" activities.
In addition to travel being an issue due to inability to drive, currently or in the future due to eyesight amongst other issues.

It isn't always by choice.

[Nnyco]

i dont think it matters, atleast in my opinion even when a friend is far away, it is still a friend

[dixincide]

I think online friends and real life friends are different.
The Movie Her had a good argument for it which was used in different context but I feel it still applies here.

With online friends you have a massive pool to find people that suit your exact need at the moment, But the second you are done with them you can simply go offline or block/drop them completely.

Its much harder to do this with real life friends because they are someone you will interact with even when you don't want to, and if the relationship sours there is no blocking them. You can stop talking with them but they might talk with your friends and in doing so will still affect your life.



Ultimately I'd say as pointed out previously. A friend is a friend, but I'd put more value on those that have a larger impact on my life than the ones that don't. (aka the real life ones)

[Deleted]

Friends are friends to me, whether I've met them in real life or not - they are still a real person communicating with me, don't care that I can't physically interact with them.
That being said my closest friends have always been in real life, but I do have some friends online that I would consider genuine friendships despite the fact I will probably never meet them.

[Glaziola]

I used to have a lot of online friends, but I dont talk to any of them anymore these days, I'm socializing so much at university with all kinds of people, also having to keep up long distance relationships over skype and facebook. When I get the free time I just want to chill out in game alone. Grind something mindlessly like the old wotlk and cata raids.

[Deleted]

Just because they're people on the internet doesn't mean they're not real or less valid than your IRL friends.

[Deleted]

Thinking about it like that is kinda douchey... is it also sad to still be friends with someone who moved far away or having a long distance relationship with someone?

Now I wouldn't consider any of my online only friends to be near the same level as my IRL friends or talk to them about any personal stuff but they are still friends because we play games and chat with each other just like I would do with my IRL friends.

[Maxilian]

I don't have online friends (mostly because i don't really talk with anyone online, i have a couple of people that i like, but i wouldn't call them my friends), but i don't think there's anything wrong or sad with that, they are just... friends

[The Stormbringer]

One of my longest friendships, from fourteen years ago, is an 'online friendship'. He and I are broskis, and have shot the shit on the phone, over Skype, whatever. We play games together occasionally, chat, whatever. I consider it to be a real friendship, even if there's plenty we don't know about each other or that we never get to hang out in the flesh.

[Reeve]

I think it's a little sad if you have online friends to the exclusion of IRL friends. There's no substitute for human presence and human contact.