1. #1

    blame deflection and how to deal with it

    I have been with my gf for over 4 years and I bet i could count on one hand how many times she has taken blame for something. I don't really think its about being wrong but about being able to admit that. she constantly looks for something else to take blame for her.

    how the heck do i deal with this? after this long its really starting to bother me that she is nearly incapable of admitting fault.
    Quote Originally Posted by obdigore
    I've been linked pictures of anime that are already like that.
    Quote Originally Posted by whathump
    What has science done?!

  2. #2
    How to handle any relationship problem: A) Talk about it. B) Consider the other person incompetent and deal with shit with that in mind. C) Break up.

  3. #3
    The Unstoppable Force THE Bigzoman's Avatar
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    You don't.

    Blame deflection is a terrible character trait.

    Unless she has the wettest and tightest shit around, you shouldn't be in anything serious with her.

  4. #4
    I had a gf like that.
    *drops and breaks cup* "I tripped over the cat" (cats in other room)
    *does dishes, puts dirty dishes in cabinet* "oh i didnt see it" (do you have eyes though?)
    *cant get computer to work* "why wont you fix this" (not broken, showed her how to use it and solve the problem multiple times)

    Not once did I hear im sorry, that was my fault, sorry about that, never, none of the above. Always an excuse, some other factor magically effecting whatever she screwed up.
    Lose her. She'll never change, it'll only get more annoying. It's like a sickness, that I got sick of real quick.

  5. #5
    people who can never apologise are also terrible.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    How to handle any relationship problem: A) Talk about it. B) Consider the other person incompetent and deal with shit with that in mind. C) Break up.
    this is my favorite response. to add more to the story I will say she has twin 6 year old boys who are not biologically mine and I have been the father to the whole time as the sperm donator only comes around once every 6-8 months and we have a 2.5 year old son together.
    Quote Originally Posted by obdigore
    I've been linked pictures of anime that are already like that.
    Quote Originally Posted by whathump
    What has science done?!

  7. #7
    Blame deflection is a terrible character trait.
    Last edited by robyanhuz; 2015-05-19 at 08:09 AM.

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by SqueektheWeek View Post
    this is my favorite response. to add more to the story I will say she has twin 6 year old boys who are not biologically mine and I have been the father to the whole time as the sperm donator only comes around once every 6-8 months and we have a 2.5 year old son together.
    Can you give us an example of her "blame deflecting" behavior?
    .

    "This will be a fight against overwhelming odds from which survival cannot be expected. We will do what damage we can."

    -- Capt. Copeland

  9. #9
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by THE Bigzoman View Post
    You don't.

    Blame deflection is a terrible character trait.

    Unless she has the wettest and tightest shit around, you shouldn't be in anything serious with her.
    Now that I seen your picture, your posts get even beter!

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    How to handle any relationship problem: A) Talk about it. B) Consider the other person incompetent and deal with shit with that in mind. C) Break up.
    Blueobelisk ended your thread on post 2.

    I guess the only thing I can add is... have a threesome with her parents?
    Quote Originally Posted by xanzul View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by obdigore View Post
    So if the states get together and work with the Legislative Branch to write an amendment to the federal constitution, you think the Judiciary (SCOTUS) could strike it down for being 'unconstitutional'?
    Uh...yes. Absolutely.

  11. #11
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by SqueektheWeek View Post
    the sperm donator only comes around once every 6-8 months and we have a 2.5 year old son together.
    You have a 2.5 year old son together with the sperm donator?

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Gatsbybutters View Post
    I had a gf like that.
    *drops and breaks cup* "I tripped over the cat" (cats in other room)
    *does dishes, puts dirty dishes in cabinet* "oh i didnt see it" (do you have eyes though?)
    *cant get computer to work* "why wont you fix this" (not broken, showed her how to use it and solve the problem multiple times)

    Not once did I hear im sorry, that was my fault, sorry about that, never, none of the above. Always an excuse, some other factor magically effecting whatever she screwed up.
    Lose her. She'll never change, it'll only get more annoying. It's like a sickness, that I got sick of real quick.
    I have a sister like this.

    her on Facebook not long ago: No one in my family cares about me. I needed to move after my wedding and my own brother with a truck and trailer didn't even offer to help.

    my reply: I'm in the Middle East and have been for the last seven months.

    She is in her upper 40's. The saddest part is she had three children and taught them it was ok to be the same way.
    I'm the root of all that is evil, yeah, but you can call me cookie.

  13. #13
    Deleted
    Being impolite about the flaws of others and trying to make them admit to it during a conflict as sort of
    absolution is not nice either.

    You alway leave the toilet seat up.
    Yeah so what you never take the trash out.

    Thats not how it works.

    If you try to make people take "blame" for minor everyday issues that annoy you you
    are wrong, voice your oppinion in a constructive manner.

  14. #14
    Deleted
    I had a friend like this, ended up in shitty circumstances because of his inability to accept responsibility for anything. My advice is talk with her, and if nothing changes, get out, in my experience people like this never change.

  15. #15
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by SogPig View Post
    I have a sister like this.

    her on Facebook not long ago: No one in my family cares about me. I needed to move after my wedding and my own brother with a truck and trailer didn't even offer to help.

    my reply: I'm in the Middle East and have been for the last seven months.

    She is in her upper 40's. The saddest part is she had three children and taught them it was ok to be the same way.
    Who the fuck bitches their family out publicly like that anyway?

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