My friend tried to kill himself, how to handle it?

[Deleted]

The fuck kind of place sends a suicide case home the same night they just tried to kill themselves?

Maybe I've been on the internet for too long, but this sounds like a load of bollocks.

nope. witnessed 3 seperate people have 3 seperate breakdowns resulting in similar situations and all of them resulted in being ushered out of hospital as soon as they were fit enough to leave and just being offered numbers and advice groups etc. hospitals dont mess around keeping you in unnessacirily. it's not bollocks.

[Kaganfindel]

See if he'll take one of the new anti depressants they have now. Sometimes guys like him respond to the "this is a just a problem that needs to be fixed like a flat tire" line of logic.

My brother was on antidepressants when he shot himself in the head. He tried three or four of them, and none of them worked.

CW, feeling angry and betrayed is a pretty normal response to someone that close to you trying to kill themselves, especially since you guys were going into business together and he knew he was essential to your success. It's also not uncommon for someone who's struggling with a really bleak depression to kill themselves on the way out of it (my brother was getting his job back, the bosses who conspired to remove him were under investigation and his wife had just agreed to work on the marriage). Having hope and energy after all that time, and knowing that you're capable of being that empty is enough to give you everything you need to check out.

Don't ignore your feelings. Be honest with him. It was all about him, but it affects everyone around him and he needs to know that. If you're willing to keep him on, it'd probably be helpful to know that you've still got his back and he's still got his job, even thought you're still pissed off. Unexpressed anger ages into resentment, so don't stuff it down.

I'm not officially qualified to give psych advice, by the way, so salt to taste. All I know is that of all the things I'll need to tell Ben for the rest of my life, the opening line is, "that was a fucking douche move, asshole."

[Deleted]

Get him to a fucking therapist, he probably has some mental illness and should be on pills. You dont just suddenly think "oh ok ill go kill myself now", its a cause of depression and theres always something causing depression. GET HIM TO A THERAPIST!!!

as I mentioned before he needs to go to his GP and get referred on. In the same way you don't want a radiotherapist doing the job of an oncologist going to a "therapist" for a diagnosis is not appropriate. "Pills" are not always the best or only route; and assuming you specifically mean antidepressants they can sometimes be counter-productive in many situations where people present with depression/self harm.

[Deleted]

OP, I wish there were more loyal people like you I wish you both the best of luck!

[Spraxle]

You don't know how he is feeling. Your assumption that every was great is just your assumption and obviously he didn't feel that way to act on a suicidal thought. Instead of worrying about how you're going to handle this think about your friend. Think about how they're handling it. Don't force your perception of happy onto him or any of that other stuff. Just let him know you'll be there to talk if he wants to talk to you about it. That's really all you can do. His family can do more (like force him to a shrink) if they wish, but that's not really your call.

This is just one of the issues with people and suicide attempts/successes. The people around them instantly go into "omg what do I do about this? I'm so angry blah blah blah" instead of thinking about the pain the person who attempted/succeeded was/is in. Believe it or not the world doesn't revolve around you and their pain doesn't either. Maybe you can't understand it, but people deal with a lot of stuff and put forward a good face to the world when really they're completely destroyed inside.

[THE Bigzoman]

For starter, I wouldn't want to be business parnters with someone who is suicidal.

Other that that, just be there for him.

Anything else is beyond you and on a professional.

[ATZenith]

Just because someone smiles on the outside don't assume they are OK and happy..

Maybe you should just talk to him straightforward. Ask him why? Ask him why he didn't talk to you. Try to become closer somehow.

[Gandrake]

just because you seem happy doesn't mean that you are happy

just because i love my job and have come a long way from where i used to be doesn't mean that i don't still have my dark moments trying to juggle all of this bullshit

sometimes life is hard. sometimes the expectations you set for yourself are even worse. for some people, disappointing themselves is one of the most agitating and outright enraging things that can happen to them.

when you stop to think about all the time you have wasted, every big opportunity that has passed you by because you had your head up you ass, where you are and how far you are from what you want to be, and just have had a bad fuckin' day, you start to wonder why the hell you are even on this earth and if you are just wasting your time... But dead men regret nothing.

As for how to help, I really don't think you can. It's not something that you can really help with. Handle it how you feel like handling it. It's unlikely that anything you do will really have an impact unless you are very close to them.

[Themius]

Sent same day? Jeez... when my friend tried to kill himself 2 years ago he ended up in a psychiatric care for a month. They didn't let him go.

[prwraith]

Call the cops, baker act him, call it a day.

[THE Bigzoman]

What's with all the people who have people close to them either attempting or being successful at suicide?

I know it's the internet, but i had no idea it would be this common.

[Themius]

What's with all the people who have people close to them either attempting or being successful at suicide?

I know it's the internet, but i had no idea it would be this common.

Out of my 4 closest friends 1 of them tried to kill herself 3 times with pills, another slit their wrist and then pills, and another pills. It seems really common at least for my close friends.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Unless it's just some movie thing, idk I've never tried to kill myself...one would think a hospital would hold someone who just tried to kill themselves at least overnight for some sort of evaluation period.

Yeah kind of amazing how there is that line between what YOU think should or does actually happen, versus what actually happens.



OP: Honestly man, sorry to hear about your friend man, I don't know what kind of policy they have for where you live, but hopefully you being their for your friend is enough, maybe an open ear, or just showing some support and helpful ideas.


Either way man, hope you know people who get like that get that way because something is wrong not even they know how to fix, good luck man, just be prepared for the worse but at the very least listen if they need that.

[prwraith]

Out of my 4 closest friends 1 of them tried to kill herself 3 times with pills, another slit their wrist and then pills, and another pills. It seems really common at least for my close friends.

It's not just your friends sadly. It's becoming something of an epidemic it seems.

Either people are more and more incapable of dealing with stress, or we've reached a point where stress is overloading the average.

Either way it's not good. I don't really get it because i'm your classic relaxed 24/7 type but I see it.

[Cerus]

The fuck kind of place sends a suicide case home the same night they just tried to kill themselves?

Maybe I've been on the internet for too long, but this sounds like a load of bollocks.

One that determines that it wasn't a real attempt. Just another pathetic "cry for help" like most people.

[Themius]

One that determines that it wasn't a real attempt. Just another pathetic "cry for help" like most people.

Cries for help kill themselves if they don't get help...

[prwraith]

Cries for help kill themselves if they don't get help...

Let me open with I don't disagree with you.

As someone who doesn't feel this though a lot of it is very difficult for me to understand. I have a hard time believing / understanding panic attacks, that shit doesn't make sense to me you just need to cope. Depression I don't get either you just pull yourself up and out.

It's so incredibly difficult for me to comprehend stress :/ I google these sorts of things all the time and I just don't get how people can feel this way.

At the end of the day I'm not opposing they get help. I just wish I could understand it

[Doctor Amadeus]

Cries for help kill themselves if they don't get help...

Yeah too often people think depression or people trying to kill themselves just want attention, should toughen up and snap out it of. But I guess nevermind what people are going through as long as they look alright.

[BloodSense]

A few months ago my wife tried to kill herself. More than a cry for help but she chickened out before she could finish the job. Call it the stress of being a stay at home mother, damage from her childhood, or the stress of trying to fix a floundering marriage but whatever it was it had become to much. But in the following months I learned a few things about suicide and depression, things very few people ever talk about because of the stigma attached to mental illness and suicide, but I'll share them none the less.

1. The most important thing for you to keep in mind, is that you can't fix this. Despite how difficult it may seem, and how much pain you may have to endure, you as a person are not capable of pulling someone out of true clinical depression by yourself. The best you can hope to do, is offer support both to your friend and others that may care about him that may be going through difficult times.

2. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink as they say. Forcing someone to seek mental health services can be just as damaging if not more-so than doing nothing. Hospitals will often send attempted suicide patients home if the attending psychiatrist determines they are no longer in crisis and not a danger to themselves. One of the reasons for this is that the first, and often hardest part of the road to recovery is admitting that there is a problem and deciding to take steps to fix it. That being said, there is no harm in gently guiding him to seeking help. There are a lot of outpatient mental health centers that can provide advice on helping him hook up with someone and plenty of resources for both you and him to look into. Getting started is the hardest part.

3. Don't be angry at him. While it seems (and I Agree to an extent it is) that suicide is an extremely selfish act, depression is more than just feeling down because shit didn't go your way. Depression can come from a lot of different sources, some environmental, some mental, some physical, and some chemical, but it is a sickness regardless. And unfortunately suicidal thoughts are a common symptom of it, so common in fact they said that most people will consider it, if only briefly, at some point in their life. But your friend doesn't need anger right now, he needs someone to be there for him and to support him. The simple act of calling to say hello, or offering a shoulder to cry on can pull someone back from the brink. As men, especially in the United States we're taught that sharing our feeling is feminine and a sign of weakness, but bottling those feeling up can turn someone into a time bomb and some time all it takes is an offer from someone you trust to listen to get you talking.

4. Don't neglect yourself. In the last few months one of the things I've learned are there are countless resources on how to deal with depression and suicide, but very few on how to deal with the repercussions of someone who is depressed. Don't be afraid to seek someone to speak to yourself if it becomes to much to bare. Here is a pretty good article i encountered a few weeks ago: http://www.vice.com/read/how-do-you-...depression-144

There's plenty more I can say but I'm starting to fade. If you've got questions or anything feel free to ask either here or in a PM, and I wish both of you the best of luck.

[Bocek]

Not by going to a public forum for advice.