Need advice/help, girl said yes.

[Rooskie1993]

I need some help and here's why:

I have NEVER been on a date or had a girlfriend before, I can talk to girls decently, I have been with girls so i'm not a virgin but that's not what I need help with it's the whole date part.

Basically met this girl on POF (plenty of fish dating website) and she gave me her facebook to chat easier, it's been about a week or two and we have spoke a little bit so I thought why the fuck not just ask her out?

She said yes, I actually didn't think she would mainly because I have never asked a girl out and I didn't know if it was too soon or not since we had only talked online.

TL;DR: I need help for a first date.

The girl is emo/gothish but not to the hard hardcore extent, she plays a lot of games and is quite healthy and into fitness, she seems to also sing in a band.

Help! I really don't want to fuck this up.

[padz]

I'm in no way an expert on dating - as in I never really got around to dating before I was in a relationship.

You should consider some things before deciding what to do on the first date with this girl.

1. What do you like to do? (You're most comfortable in situations where you do something you like. - It's easier for you to be chatty and supportive if you know what you are doing)

2. Don't plan too much! (You want enjoy a date with this girl which you have no idea if you like yet. I suggest you do something you like and then a dinner - don't plan an entire day unless it's your thing)

3. Be yourself (Don't impose an image on yourself that you think she'll like. This is not a job interview where you're playing a role to get the job. It's always easier being yourself, and if she doesn't like you for you, then there's no happy ending)

4. Don't (suggest anything inappropriate)!

[deviltoist]

dont let her sleep with your parents

[Anium]

Aw young loooooove!
Be yourself, be honest!
Does she like themeparks? Excitement is also a good thing to do on a first date.
Be cool. Not too cool. But cool.

[THE Bigzoman]

I need some help and here's why:

I have NEVER been on a date or had a girlfriend before, I can talk to girls decently, I have been with girls so i'm not a virgin but that's not what I need help with it's the whole date part.

Basically met this girl on POF (plenty of fish dating website) and she gave me her facebook to chat easier, it's been about a week or two and we have spoke a little bit so I thought why the fuck not just ask her out?

She said yes, I actually didn't think she would mainly because I have never asked a girl out and I didn't know if it was too soon or not since we had only talked online.

TL;DR: I need help for a first date.

The girl is emo/gothish but not to the hard hardcore extent, she plays a lot of games and is quite healthy and into fitness, she seems to also sing in a band.

Help! I really don't want to fuck this up.

How old are you?

[Deleted]

Ok couple of words from the wise (and now old sod)

1) cinema is always a good first date I found, if your struggling for conversation it's a good method of hiding the awkwardness as you can just watch the film until you think of something else to say, she may be nervous as well so awkward silences will probably happen.
Then if you hate her you only have to spend 120 minutes with her, if you get on well you can suggest going doing something else, or grabbing something to eat if you got over the awkward silences bit


2) in my mind the worst thing is to act really thankful to her for coming to the date with you, she has as much to be thankful for from you as vice versa. I'm not saying be a douche and act like you totally don't care, but act confident, girls dig that confidence.
Even if your not confident on the inside, force yourself to pretend (most people who come across really confident aren't at all on the inside)


3) don't announce how much you like her in the first date. Save that for 2/3 at earliest its that old saying you want those you can't have. If you lay it on a plate for her it's too easy, and she'll get bored. It's playing the game of letting the other one show their feelings first

4) as an avid game player I wouldn't base the conversations you have with her on wow or w/e you play talk about her gym or sport she plays try avoid talking about computer games; tbh it makes us sound like geeks lol

5) awkward bye - when you say goodbye, you sound like a genuine guy rather than a player, so unless it's been a really good date lead in with a kiss goodbye on the cheek, just avoids the awkwardness of the undecided goodbye


tldr be confident
Let us know how it goes

[THE Bigzoman]

Cinema is a terrible idea.

Stop being afraid and acting like you don't know. If you've socialised with people, you can socialize with this girl. Get her off the ivory tower of your fantasies.

Second, she's not offering anything to you. You have something to offer her. Don't spill your guts about who you are and how you started from the bottom and now you're here. Get her to tell you about her. You're already the shit. If she can't tell from all the flies flying around you, that's on her.

[Zafire]

Ok couple of words from the wise (and now old sod)

1) cinema is always a good first date I found, if your struggling for conversation it's a good method of hiding the awkwardness as you can just watch the film until you think of something else to say, she may be nervous as well so awkward silences will probably happen.
Then if you hate her you only have to spend 120 minutes with her, if you get on well you can suggest going doing something else, or grabbing something to eat if you got over the awkward silences bit


2) in my mind the worst thing is to act really thankful to her for coming to the date with you, she has as much to be thankful for from you as vice versa. I'm not saying be a douche and act like you totally don't care, but act confident, girls dig that confidence.
Even if your not confident on the inside, force yourself to pretend (most people who come across really confident aren't at all on the inside)


3) don't announce how much you like her in the first date. Save that for 2/3 at earliest its that old saying you want those you can't have. If you lay it on a plate for her it's too easy, and she'll get bored. It's playing the game of letting the other one show their feelings first

4) as an avid game player I wouldn't base the conversations you have with her on wow or w/e you play talk about her gym or sport she plays try avoid talking about computer games; tbh it makes us sound like geeks lol

5) awkward bye - when you say goodbye, you sound like a genuine guy rather than a player, so unless it's been a really good date lead in with a kiss goodbye on the cheek, just avoids the awkwardness of the undecided goodbye


tldr be confident
Let us know how it goes

Hmm, I'm going to disagree with #4. I have always laid out that I am a gamer and it is one of my bigger hobbies. If I'm going to make them a huge part of my life they're gonna have to deal with that. If it's not something you can talk about, that's fine, but you shouldn't have to hide things like that about yourself. Besides, some girls like geeks.

[ciggy]

I'm forty, and i'm still nervous as hell on first dates. Good job asking for a date so quickly, that's a good step.

Best thing I could suggest is just lunch/dinner so you can feel each other out a bit. Ask questions, listen for answers.. If you have stuff in common, what happens next will be real easy. Movie is a great idea, but real hard to talk in a movie. I'm in the process of getting to know someone new, and it's exciting and terrifying. Enjoy it

[THE Bigzoman]

Hmm, I'm going to disagree with #4. I have always laid out that I am a gamer and it is one of my bigger hobbies. If I'm going to make them a huge part of my life they're gonna have to deal with that. If it's not something you can talk about, that's fine, but you shouldn't have to hide things like that about yourself. Besides, some girls like geeks.

The ones a 5 or below maybe.

[Zafire]

The ones a 5 or below maybe.

If you're just looking to get laid and nothing else, sure.

[THE Bigzoman]

If you're just looking to get laid and nothing else, sure.

Why else would you go on the first couple of dates?

[Rooskie1993]

Sorry I left some things out

I'm 22, she's 20, she plays a lot of games as well not just pc but console as well, she's nerdy but you probably wouldnt tell unless you talked to her.

Also going to dinner around 7 and then movie around 9 seeing new jurassic world movie

[Deleted]

I'd avoid Jurassic park as it will be rammed, go see a shit film that not many people will be seeing so you can chat away

[Rooskie1993]

I'd avoid Jurassic park as it will be rammed, go see a shit film that not many people will be seeing so you can chat away

Yeah there's really nothing else on and she's interested in the movie, also not going until next week which is good as well because it will have died down at the movies.

[Independent voter]

I need some help and here's why:

I have NEVER been on a date or had a girlfriend before, I can talk to girls decently, I have been with girls so i'm not a virgin but that's not what I need help with it's the whole date part.

You come to the right place, we handle problems like this all the time.

We'll set up a Google Groups so you can connect using your phone and we can talk you through the date real time. Don't worry, we have tons of experience with women.

Take some pictures and upload them to the Google Group too, some of us like to live vicariously through others.

[Panta]

F*** h** r**** i* t** p****

[Acidbaron]

Be yourself don't over think things but don't act like you are with your mates, with that i mean keep it more civilized.

Last piece of advice don't come over too strong, don't go all 'oh i love you' on the first date that's a sure thing scare them off.

[ezgeze]

Go out to a place that you feel comfortable with, otherwise its almost certain to fail.
A place you often go to will help you feel relaxed and will come across to her as more genuine.

If you just act normal and she digs your normal, its all a cakewalk from there.

[Kudos]

I'll echo some sentiments here.

Movies are not always good idea for a first date. There's no option for talking in a cinema. Take her to do something where there's opportunities to do something fun or even out of her comfort zone. Every played golf? Even if you haven't, it can be quite humourous playing a round of golf with two people who don't know what they're doing. It doesn't have to be a full golf course. I took my wife on our very first date to a mini putt-putt course.

Bowling is another option. Hell, if she's the sporty type, even something like indoor rock climbing could be some fun. Something where you can just have fun, laugh at doing something out of your comfort zone and most importantly, talk to each other.