Advice for helping somebody remember!

[Deleted]

Hey there!

So lets cut straight to it.
I've been searching for a friend who I loved very much during a short amount of time at school back in 1999-2001, I can remember each day we hung out and shared funny stories, she would always tickle me to the point where I yelled like a little girl, she got some laughs out of that I tell ya! Anyway, I later then moved area, miles away from all my old friends so consequently I lost contact with everybody I knew up until like 2011 where I added a couple of people on Facebook to meet and catch up with. But my old friend... Sian, nowhere to be found until last night... I found her on facebook and instantly I knew this was the girl I knew from way back then. There is even a class photo of her (she was in another class to me which doesn't help) where I recognized a lot of people also.

So I threw her a message explaining myself, Hey! Hows it going? I'm not sure if you remember me but (blar blar blar), turns out she doesn't remember me what so ever which sucks BIG time, made me upset to be totally honest. She really doesn't remember anything. Has anybody else been in this position before? Were after years of searching you finally find them but they have zero memory of you? I don't just want to give up, nor do I want to sound like a typical desperate male wanting to invade her life.

I know my options right now are limited... any help or suggestions would be great.

Thanks.

[Kryctos]

Send her a pic of your highschool self?

[Deleted]

You weren't as improtant to her, as she was to you. Either that, or she doesn't want anything to do with you and is trying to be nice by saying she doesn't remember.

I'd let it go.

I'm beginning to agree, that's the harsh reality of it.
Unless I can prove otherwise.

[Independent voter]

She might have kids and a husband.

[Rixis]

I've had people message and speak to me who I genuinely have no idea who they are, even when they tell me their name and shit. That's a long time ago.

[Deleted]

I'm beginning to agree, that's the harsh reality of it.
Unless I can prove otherwise.

Why would you want to prove otherwise?

[-aiko-]

Yeah it's life. You should never take it any steps further then the casual "I knew you in high school". Anything after that is just awkward.

[Deleted]

Why would you want to prove otherwise?

Because I don't really want to just give up.

She might have kids and a husband.

Not the case, I know that much :P

[Independent voter]

Not the case, I know that much :P

Well, there's nothing wrong with asking her out for a cup of coffee, all she can do is say no.

[Tradewind]

It's not really her, it's just a fake account some dude is using for his online dating profile while he wanks to dick pics people email him.

[Deleted]

You pushing for her to remember you kinda makes you look like a creeper.

Maybe she has a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Hmmm nah not really pushing her, I've sent her to messages in which she replied to nicely saying she doesn't remember. I threw her a friend request earlier today, if she accepts I'll talk a bit more with her later, if not I guess thats that! haha.

Well, there's nothing wrong with asking her out for a cup of coffee, all she can do is say no.

Good thinking!

[Deleted]

Perhaps she perceives your message as romantically-motivated, and she has a boyfriend already or something.

[lockedout]

I know my options right now are limited... any help or suggestions would be great.

Thanks.

She probably does remember you but wants nothing to do with you so she is just saying she doesn't remember you. I would leave her alone and move on. Sounds almost stalkerish on your part.

[Deleted]

Maybe it's not her.

[Deleted]

There is even a class photo of her (she was in another class to me which doesn't help) where I recognized a lot of people also.

There you go sir

- - - Updated - - -

Hey there!

So lets cut straight to it.
I've been searching for a friend who I loved very much during a short amount of time at school back in 1999-2001, I can remember each day we hung out and shared funny stories, she would always tickle me to the point where I yelled like a little girl, she got some laughs out of that I tell ya! Anyway, I later then moved area, miles away from all my old friends so consequently I lost contact with everybody I knew up until like 2011 where I added a couple of people on Facebook to meet and catch up with. But my old friend... Sian, nowhere to be found until last night... I found her on facebook and instantly I knew this was the girl I knew from way back then. There is even a class photo of her (she was in another class to me which doesn't help) where I recognized a lot of people also.

So I threw her a message explaining myself, Hey! Hows it going? I'm not sure if you remember me but (blar blar blar), turns out she doesn't remember me what so ever which sucks BIG time, made me upset to be totally honest. She really doesn't remember anything. Has anybody else been in this position before? Were after years of searching you finally find them but they have zero memory of you? I don't just want to give up, nor do I want to sound like a typical desperate male wanting to invade her life.

I know my options right now are limited... any help or suggestions would be great.

Thanks.

I doubt she can't remember you, its like if you meet your friend and he tells you "oh give me your number" then he will never call you nor SMS you, I mean wtf? ^^

[Qualia]

I doubt she can't remember you, its like if you meet your friend and he tells you "oh give me your number" then he will never call you nor SMS you, I mean wtf? ^^

Don't be so skeptical. While there are possibilities that she just doesn't want to talk to him, there is a good chance that she really can't remember him, depends on how old they were back then. When I went to my elementary school class reunion the first time ~7 years ago, I had a really hard time remember half of them. That made a rather awkward situation for me since they clearly remembered me and were quite friendly, chatting about stories from back then (while I kept questioning myself if there really were those kids in my class).


@OP: If she can't remember, then she can't and she likely doesn't care about those memory. No point in being persistent and trying to "help" her to recall them. You already sound desperate to me.
If you want to get together with her, try different approach.

[Deleted]

Don't be so skeptical. While there are possibilities that she just doesn't want to talk to him, there is a good chance that she really can't remember him, depends on how old they were back then. When I went to my elementary school class reunion the first time ~7 years ago, I had a really hard time remember half of them. That made a rather awkward situation for me since they clearly remembered me and were quite friendly, chatting about stories from back then (while I kept questioning myself if there really were those kids in my class).


@OP: If she can't remember, then she can't and she likely doesn't care about those memory. No point in being persistent and trying to "help" her to recall them. You already sound desperate to me.
If you want to get together with her, try different approach.

Same here, There were two people from my class who I couldn't remember either. Back then I was 10, she was 7? something like that so I guess it's quite easy to forget. As I said I'm not going to push her any more, I've done my part, it's her choice to accept my friend request if not I'll accept it Just a shame because a lot of my other friends want to arrange a school reunion soon, which will be great fun just too bad she won't remember me when I have memories of her as clear as day.

Thanks for your thoughts

[Immitis]

clearly the aliens got to her

[Puupi]

clearly the aliens got to her

^this or it is an amnesia caused by traumatization. Which leads to the question of what kind of "tickling" had happened in the first place?

[Afrospinach]

Maybe it's not her.

Wouldn't that be hilarious lol.

I once dialed a friends number and got this girl on the other end and spent about 5 minutes trying to get her to pass the phone to my mate. I wasn't that rude, just told her to stop screwing around and some such. On closer inspection I had actually left out a digit in the phone number.