Help me understand this girl

[Spoonman]

So maybe MMO C isnt the place for this, but it feels like the amount of chicks saying "my husband that or my husband this" on this site is getting redic now a days so thought id might get some quality relationship info here
(Ive been in 1 long relationship before(throuout school pretty much)which is now 8years ago and didnt involve any kind of texting or messaging before we hooked up)

Im not a member on any other forum so here it goes

There is this girl at work that I found real cute, a while ago we "shared a look" which I felt like was something of showing interest from both sides
I looked around with my friends to see if anyone knew who she was and eventualy found her so I sent her a message on Facebook
Since we work at different positions inside the company and we never tend to work the same kind of hours it was quite hard to get hold of her any other way
Asap I wrote to her she answered me and we talked for hours that night.
She knew exactly who I was even tho we never said a word to eachother before. Ive basicily seen her at work once
I never got around to really mention anything in the texts about how I feel and so on or ask her our since it felt like the opportunity for that just didnt happen yet, mostly because im currently working a lot and I know she does aswell and in the conversations we had it felt like we already had to much to talk about

So about 3 weeks ago she stopped answering my message and I didnt write anything back since I didnt wanna feel wierd and needy
She answered after 1 week and we had a great talk until it was time to say good bye for that night
Fast forward to today the last 2 weeks has been made up by me answering my own messages after a week since theres been a few things regarding work going on that I kinda knew would be interesting to her aswell
So last night was one of those times where I sent her a message after a week just coming home from work and she instant replied, it felt like she might had a glass or two since she was saying a lot of things which I kinda felt that she wouldnt usualy be saying. Her spelling was still perfect tho which makes me doubt this theory but anyway, we had an amazing talk
I ended the conversation with saying that I really look forward to hear from her again and she gave me a cute smiley and told me that she would message me when she woke up. Its now been 2 days....

How would I move forward with this?

[Feali]

Be an alpha and talk about your intentions. Just ask her out. If she's into you, she'll say yes. If not you'll have a good laugh.

[gunner_recall]

Look, man, not gonna lie: you kind of lost your chance. I mean, if you think this'll lead somewhere I'd go ahead and hit her up and just see if she wants to hang out but you really should have done that earlier.

However, don't do it over Facebook or text or whatever. That's kind of a weak move.

[Khaza-R]

Eh, there is no right answer.

Either you can be blunt and ask her out and see if that works.

or

You can just back off and see if she messages you. If someone likes you, they will undoubtedly message you again at some point. Its human nature to want attention the most form someone you like when you aren't getting any.

Anyways, based off what you said there's too much "what ifs" too tell you what's going on with her. She could be talking to someone else. She could not be looking to get involved. She could just think you're a nice guy and enjoy chatting with you. You'll never know until you try being a little bolder.

[Bad-apple]

Ask her out to drinks or to do something in the physical realm. A relationship can't move forward on text messages alone.

Worst possible scenario is you get turned down and can move on.

[Lady Dragonheart]

You should be more direct and assertive with your feelings about her and let her know without being over-dramatic about it. Also... texting is so impersonal... Take her out for coffee or tea, perhaps some food on one of days that you may happen both be off. Just run with and don't worry so much.

- - - Updated - - -

Ask her out to drinks or to do something in the physical realm. A relationship can't move forward on text messages alone.

Worst possible scenario is you get turned down and can move on.

Damn, beat me to it. >.<

[Owen000]

Ask her directly. If she's into you, she will say Yes. If not, she will keep a distance from you

[Larinnian]

Ask her out to drinks or to do something in the physical realm. A relationship can't move forward on text messages alone.

Worst possible scenario is you get turned down and can move on.

Pretty much this.

Do not - i repeat, do not - 'wait for her to do something.' If you like her, let her know. Don't be so scared of rejection that you miss a possible opportunity.

[Spoonman]

Thanks for the feedback everyone

Am I really that screwed because of not telling here I like her in the first message?

The main reason behind me not doing it is that I do not want to get into problems around work for either of us, obv behind the scenes things like this tends to get out of control and the word gets around which will just create a bad atmosphere. I dont mean in a psycho way, people gossip thats just how it works IMO

The other thing, and this might be wierd hearing from a guy but right now I feel that I would rather get to know her as a friend very well rather than taking 1 chance of nailing a cute chick. In short its about we sharing the same interests a lot and I feel like this would be one of thos persons I would really want to keep around

My ex and I went to the same school and class and I would say that we were great friends before neither of us decided it was time to talk about feelings. We hang around getting to know each other and then started talking about how we really felt and for some reason I kinda felt that getting to know the other person was a big reason behind feeling more attracted to each other

How would I ever be able to phrase a statement saying that I like you but if u dont like me I still want to be friends really bad? things like that have never worked

The girl this thread is about has idd written back to me so the story goes on still at least...

[Feali]

The other thing, and this might be wierd hearing from a guy but right now I feel that I would rather get to know her as a friend very well rather than taking 1 chance of nailing a cute chick. In short its about we sharing the same interests a lot and I feel like this would be one of thos persons I would really want to keep around.

Really not weird at all. The best relationships come from friendship.

[Sj]

Ask her out to drinks or to do something in the physical realm. A relationship can't move forward on text messages alone.

Worst possible scenario is you get turned down and can move on.

Pretty much this.

Do not - i repeat, do not - 'wait for her to do something.' If you like her, let her know. Don't be so scared of rejection that you miss a possible opportunity.

Heed this advice. Never wait for a woman. It's not that they can't take the initiative, it's just that most women dislike indecisiveness in a man.

Thanks for the feedback everyone

Am I really that screwed because of not telling here I like her in the first message?

I'm not sure exactly how old you are, but if you're old enough to work, you're old enough to know better than to make a big thing out of a confession. Don't tell her you like her; show her. Ask her out for coffee or drinks. If she talked to you for hours on end, she's interested in you, which is a start.

The main reason behind me not doing it is that I do not want to get into problems around work for either of us, obv behind the scenes things like this tends to get out of control and the word gets around which will just create a bad atmosphere. I dont mean in a psycho way, people gossip thats just how it works IMO

Going back to before, you're an adult; what you do is nobody's business. Showing that you're not really concerned about what people think (to an extent, of course) shows maturity. If it becomes an issue, ask her how she would prefer you handle any inquiries or comments about the two of you.

The other thing, and this might be wierd hearing from a guy but right now I feel that I would rather get to know her as a friend very well rather than taking 1 chance of nailing a cute chick. In short its about we sharing the same interests a lot and I feel like this would be one of thos persons I would really want to keep around

My ex and I went to the same school and class and I would say that we were great friends before neither of us decided it was time to talk about feelings. We hang around getting to know each other and then started talking about how we really felt and for some reason I kinda felt that getting to know the other person was a big reason behind feeling more attracted to each other

This is how most of my healthy relationships started and I'm still good friends with those exes to this day (we're talking greater than 10 years, here).

How would I ever be able to phrase a statement saying that I like you but if u dont like me I still want to be friends really bad? things like that have never worked

Don't sweat that stuff. What guys usually feel when they are interested in a woman is impatience (ready to fast forward to the good stuff) and nervousness (unsure of how to make that happen and fear of screwing it up). Like I said before, don't tell her anything until you show her first. Get together with her first. If she fights that, she's not interested and you have your response. If she seems hesitant, just tell her you enjoy talking to her and thought it'd be fun to get together for [insert sensible first time meeting activity here]. If she still won't agree, just let her know you're still open to it if she changes her mind and leave it at that; at this point, you've stated your intentions, shown your interest, and demonstrated your maturity and understanding. You did your part, it's up to her now. Don't pressure, don't guilt, let her make the decision. Carry on as if it wasn't a big deal.

The girl this thread is about has idd written back to me so the story goes on still at least...

If she's still talking to you and you guys are spending tons of time talking still, she's interested in some fashion. She could be lonely and looking for a friend. She could just think you're cute and wants to get to know you while not necessarily having any romantic feelings for you. She might have gotten to know you some over the texts and values you as a friend but not quite a close one. She could just be bored.

The key to building a relationship is to just go with the flow and be yourself. Don't force or rush anything; if things progress naturally, you'll find out whether or not this person is good for you (in a broad sense) and then you can figure out where to go from there.


Just don't do anything stupid like confess your feelings out of the blue.

[Artorius]

Marry me Sj.

@OP, I could type a lot of things but the nice guy /\ already said anything that I could.
Or maybe not since I read it really fast.

[Sj]

Marry me Sj.

k a/s/l bb?

@OP, I could type a lot of things but the nice guy /\ already said anything that I could.
Or maybe not since I read it really fast.

I'm pretty alpha, plus I'm a bit older so I've got more experience crashing and burning too

[Naho]

Just go for it! Take what´s yours ^^

[Sj]

I'm waiting for an update here. Genuinely curious.

[Misjudged Maaanwell]

k a/s/l bb?



I'm pretty alpha, plus I'm a bit older so I've got more experience crashing and burning too

Claims to be alpha, but have you seen his MAL?

[Sj]

Claims to be alpha, but have you seen his MAL?

Hey I haven't even added all of the shoujo-ai that I watch

[Deleted]

So how did it go?

[Radaney]

Does your company do nights out?

EDIT: oop you said you were in different areas of the company so nvm. Just ask her for a night out.

[Hulagu]

Be an alpha and talk about your intentions. Just ask her out. If she's into you, she'll say yes. If not you'll have a good laugh.

Best thing to do mate, you had the ice broken and shattered, now go straight to the point, it's not the time for slow developing anymore, that stuff became ancient, now just hit and see the reply, world move faster now, keep up with the pace....