i hate myself

[RigidCannibal]

I'd advise seeking help, since you seem to have quite a bit of self-doubt. And remember, never commit suicide: live out of spite toward life for giving you shit.

[bison91]

most of your problems i think i have but not all. example of people. i can't always get along with them, but i also dont want to coz why would i want to hang out with the morons? the people i want to be with, you try to make ideal out of them, but they are not good at all, their behavior is just stinks like everyone else.
i dont believe in therapists. need to see more people. going to festivals. try to find a work. work that you can handle but you need to try it. you will think that its been a whole month and nothing happened. its not enough, need to it for as long til something changes even if you lose day account.
Also WoW and these computer theme is kinda degradates you. like all of us and its not a secret. there are many people that didnt get computer maniaks its because they have an intensive real life...life.
girls. most girls are whores, they try to show how good they are but they arent. if a girl does not act like a lady, why would i want to socialise with her. people were telling me advise to start speaking with 20-30 of them and can be something worked out. but i am not a damn animal, i am not going to start with 20. wtf. agree there are many idiot man who go with one who is 10 years smalled then him or with an ugly one and they kinda dont care. i just cant understand them.
but i didnt thought about bad things about my self like you do. you dont need to. these morons who do bad things need to think like this. not you.
if the person is normal that you meet, you do not have to be a great speaker, they should do it alone to make things comfortable.
did you study in college? you just have to. even if you dont have money try telling your hard finansical position.

[THE Bigzoman]

When I was younger, I was very opposed to taking medication for any type of mental illness because even if I didn't care if other people did, I always thought I was caving and making excuses for myself if I did. At this point in my life, even though my problems have never been anxiety and therefore are not going to be identical to yours, I'm basically of the mindset that younger me was a dumbass and it's not worth hamstringing myself out of devotion to some misguided principle. Medications don't always work the first time, so you may need to try multiple medications. It's also important to understand that they aren't like tylenol which you take and an hour later your headache is gone or antibiotics you take for a week and you're all better. These can take weeks to build up in your system and will probably not single-handedly solve your problem. What they will do is make it a little easier for you to make the changes you need to move forward with your life.

Holy shit...this.

Except my best friend, who is essentially a fucking social worker, had to almost drag me to the psychiartry.

[Deleted]

i want to belive that my Life could get better but what am i to do ?

First off: it sounds like a depression, which is pretty serious! Therefore, I would recommend at least talking to a psychologist or some other kind of health professional.

Second: physical activity/exercise. Go running, or cycling distances; if that's not enough lift some weights - but start with running. Get it into your system to run for at least half an hour EVERY DAY (maybe a bit less on the first days if your condition isn't quite up there yet).

Physical activity gives distraction, it increases your health, it is rewarding - you will get better at this, might even get physically fit - and it is a great way of "exercising the negative energy out of your system". Even if you don't feel like running, this will make you feel better if you keep at it. Possibly, consider some sports. I personally never really liked most team sports, until I tried Ultimate Frisbee. Crazy amounts of running, great fair play atmosphere, and loads of fun learning to master the throws and anticipating the trajectories. I was absolutely terrible when I started it.

Third: hobbies/passions. Find things you really like, and spend time doing them. This doesn't take away the importance of exercise, but it can help take some focus away from negative stuff and move it over to stuff that brings you more enjoyment. Find new things to like. If you like nature, consider going for walks, photography, macro photography, microscopy. Try cooking elaborate meals (which, by the way, is VERY rewarding and will make you learn, even though you might mess up every once in a long while. Also, it's a great thing to know how to do if you're after a relationship). Think of some 'category topic' you like, and brainstorm from there to find things you might find interesting. Look into them, maybe you'll find something neat.

I strongly recommend to do some kind of exercise on a regular basis, and I recommend you talk to a health professional as well. Depression is a serious problem that affects a lot of people; by all means, you are not alone in this. If you're not getting out of this alone: hardly anybody does. That's not failure, it's just the nature of depression. It's pretty vicious.

Set realistic goals, and try to get at least 1 of those things done every day. Don't force yourself to run 1 hour if you can't run that far; start with 5 or 10 minutes if that's what you can do. But make sure that you DO run those 10 minutes. Even if it's small things, be proud of yourself for finishing them. If you feel it's getting too easy, try challenging yourself to do more. Compare how hard it was the first time, and how easy it is now. Etcetera.

Best of luck to you!

ps: am bad at English so sorry for Spelling mistakes and suicide is a part am more or less over even though i still wonder at times if theirs anythingh to live for...

Your English is perfectly understandable. The biggest thing lacking is interpunction and capital letters. Not much of a problem to me Where are you from?

[Deleted]

Not much to add to the advice of others except to say that:

1) Your experiences are a lot more common than you imagine. Most people are deeply fucked-up and insecure. The ones who aren't are the weird ones. Stop feeling like a freak, you aren't.

2) Fake it till you make it. Unhappiness and lack of confidence is something you are doing to yourself. That sounds like some piece of popular psychology bullshit until you actually try and force your own behavior to change. Act like the happiest, most confident person in the world and don't let any negative experience change that attitude. You'll find you actually feel a lot happier immediately and you'll notice a better reaction from people generally.

[Mifuyne]

These kind of threads should be closed immediatly.
Seek professional help.

[Deleted]

I'm like you OP but I had a GF for a brief period of time, like 6 months. Then I found out how much 'work' relationships required and I couldn't express my feelings so she tought I was a jerk and just letting her on. She broke up with me and I have now literally no interest in any romantic relationships.

Tho I don't think about suicide or actually do it because I can't do that to my family and sister that kinda rely on me. So I'm stuck in this 'limbo' where I go do stuff: work, gaming, etc...that brings me mildly any satisfaction till the day I'll die.

I'm cringing more and more how cool would it be to get an untreatable disease or have an accident and just die.

[Tuor]

yea am problely gonna get help frome a therapist again. it feels good to talk out. but in the end i need to be the one making the progress , and thats what frightens me as its been my problem.

an exempel my therapist said that i should try to go to school more(i was staying home few Days a week due to being afraid of work i dident understand). here the help clearly says go and do it anyways even though i said clearly i cant make that without going nuts normaly i skip it anyways becuse i cant take it. and thats what i mean. a therapist just saying that i should do it might sound easy. but in my head its a total mess,am afraid, panic just couse i dont know what to answer a person. its probly sounds stupid to a normal person but to me its gamebreaking to get yelled at as am afraid for pepeapole tbh with. how do ya solve a problem to that? some would say medicin and i have taken some depressive medicin but i tbh dont like the idea of medicin and also the ones i tested dident help :/

You already have the NO, but you always have to dig for the YES. What do i mean with this? I mean, you won't improve at all without trying... Staying at home is a NO, and you can't get anything with a NO.

Also, you need a psychologist, these foruns won't help you at all. If you seeking help, stay away from the internet and get an expert. And since it seems you already have one... Why not asking for a second opinion? Get another one, and get that second opinion.

[Deleted]

Know exactly how your feeling bro
While i have thought of suicide I also know I'll never do it, which takes the sting out of it a bit at least
Remember for every bad moment there is a good moment, even if you don't realise it at the time! Law of equilibrium n shit
But yeah i get pretty bad social anxiety as well, I have a big friend group, and I'm not unpopular but I'm only really able to talk properlywith my close friends but anyone else i can't think what to say!
No solution yet apart from drinking, which solves most of it but isn't a viable long term solution
While occasionally I'll have little sparks of the person who i feel Im meant to be, most of the time I feel like a husk of myself.
But since cutting down on the gaming it's getting slightly better in all honesty

Also remember when it comes to social anxiety, what you think there thinking is way worse than what they are actually thinking!