Anti-social and going nowhere?

[Flurryfang]

Find happiness in your antisocial/introverted personality or else you should start forcing yourself into doing social stuff. Like even though you dont really like going out with your friend, do it anyway. Not for yourself but for your friendship to keep going. Or you could just as so many before you, find stuff that you like that does not require other people and live a happy and long life

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There's nothing wrong with preferring to be alone, the only thing that could be questionable is it making you depressed, but that seems like it's more of a "you feel guilty", right?

This does not really work, since he does have a friend that is trying this, but it seems like he is repelling it.

[prwraith]

I just hate being surrounded by idiots. Most places I go this is the case.

Then again I don't particularly like being surrounded by people. I can be I just would rather not. I'm your typical outgoing positive person who jokingly says he hates everyone, but I'm not actually joking.

[Jester Joe]

This does not really work, since he does have a friend that is trying this, but it seems like he is repelling it.

Sounds to me like his friend is getting mad that he isn't as outgoing as they are.

He asked if I wanted to go hang out with him and an old friend of mine, whom I never hung out with much outside of how we knew each other. He eventually got irritated after asking countless times to go and wanted to know why I wouldn't but I didn't have a real answer, I just had no desire to go.

If his friend was trying that, he wouldn't of continuously bugged him just to get mad at him. If he was trying, he would understand it's not really like he's refusing to go just to make him upset, he's doing it because he genuinely doesn't enjoy it.

[Rixis]

This does not really work, since he does have a friend that is trying this, but it seems like he is repelling it.

The friend is doing bullet point 3 in the do not do this list.

I keep myself to myself, my only social interactions are at work, once I got comfortable with the people there, and online. The people I work with know how I am and accept it, they'll occasionally ask me if I want to do something, but expect and understand if I say no. If someone tried to push/badger me into it and got irritated if I said no, I'd just shut them out of my "hamster ball".

[Jester Joe]

The friend is doing bullet point 3 in the do not do this list.

Which reminds me, maybe I should send that image to my friend...he gets mad every time I sit quietly in skype or refuse to go into skype...

[Deleted]

I hate going out in public.
People drain me, especially people I don't know.
Social constraints drain me.
Pointless chatter drains me.

If you're not comfortable, trust your gut.

Nooope.

I went against my instincts and decided to join a student organization just to learn more social skills and I could not be happier with my choice. In fact, deciding to go against my gut when it comes to social events has led to a life which is more variated and has made me a braver and more experienced with dealing with uncomfortable situations.

And yes, I'm a total introvert. Being introverted means being social drains your energy and nothing else. It's not an excuse for being anti-social.

OP, obviousy your current situation of being depressed is because you're too comfortable. But being too comfortable is NOT a good thing. Sometimes you need to challenge yourself.

[kyoloco]

i remember them days

things get better eventually

take a chance every now and then

[Deleted]

Sounds like you have no self confidence and low self esteem. Get out there and rock the fuck out.

I didnt want to go to a party yesterday. But I did, woke up in a bathtub and felt like a wanted to top myself (too much coke). As usual I was the life and soul of the party, remember owt, but i had fun. If you are pushing 20 and have no stories you are sucking balls at life.

Go chill with your pal, and see if you can have some shenanigans.

[PosPosPos]

I had an encounter with a close friend of mine at work tonight. He asked if I wanted to go hang out with him and an old friend of mine, whom I never hung out with much outside of how we knew each other. He eventually got irritated after asking countless times to go and wanted to know why I wouldn't but I didn't have a real answer, I just had no desire to go. Apparently him and his father made a bet this morning if I would go or not and his father won this bet but for the wrong reason "He likes his video games too much to go out". This is a bit upsetting to me but hey the truth hurts, whatever, so I shrugged it off for that time being. My friend had the right to be irritated with me though, there should have been no reason for me to not want to go and here I am sitting at home since 7pm and I've done nothing productive so the time spent with friends would have been better and I know it.

I've always been this way, I've never liked social events, family gathering, or going out places. The only time I get social face to face is when I am forced to go out or forced into the situation. A few times when the same friend sporadically invited all of his other friends over, I stayed and hated it or left early with an excuse. I don't know why I am this way and don't know how to get over it other than "just doing it". I can easily say that this problem is in the way and has been for a long time. Does anyone have any input on this?

tl;dr

I am antisocial, sad, and depressed, feel like I am accomplishing nothing, help.

Would deciding on the exact time and place help you agree to hanging out with your friends? Having control and being comfortable with the location can go a long way to break out of the shell, that is if you really feel that your introversion is a problem that needs to be fixed.

Since your friend wants to hang out with you, then impose a condition that you get to decide the details of the arrangement.

[snaek]

Would deciding on the exact time and place help you agree to hanging out with your friends? Having control and being comfortable with the location can go a long way to break out of the shell, that is if you really feel that your introversion is a problem that needs to be fixed.

Since your friend wants to hang out with you, then impose a condition that you get to decide the details of the arrangement.

This is good advice. I say this as someone who has been in the same situation as the OP. Spent years trying to be someone I'm not (i.e.: someone more social), only to find out that I really just didn't like it that much (as it can exhaust me), unless I had control of the situation and could leave whenever I desired. This requires me to be within walking distance of somewhere to sleep, or have a sure way of getting home when going out for drinks for instance.

I eventually came to realize that I was much, much happier and content with myself when I was fully honest to both myself and, particularly, to other people. Simply explaining that socializing exhausts me, and explaining that I need to be able to leave at any time - and might do so without saying goodbye - does wonders for me. People may or may not understand, but I don't need them to. They only need to know why I enjoy staying home most of the time, that I may disappear at any time when I do go with them, and that it has nothing to do with them, me being bored, or anything like that.

[Felicia]

I don't like being around people either. Especially people I haven't seen in a long time, or... you know... complete strangers. I'm not depressed at all. In fact, I'm perfectly content :P I just don't like being social. My husband is the same way, but he enjoys spending time with his friends on occasion. And when he wants me to hang out with them... I usually suck it up and go. I prefer his actual friends, and not their wives. Kinda funny. They get along just fine, but... I have more in common with his friends then them :P

I find being around people exhausting, and I hate dealing with idiots. So I just take people's complaints about my anti-social behavior in stride. I am who I am, and I'm not gonna change. I've always been like this. I can count the number of truly close friends I've had in life on ONE hand. And even then... I don't talk to them anymore either.

[Deleted]

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There's nothing wrong with preferring to be alone, the only thing that could be questionable is it making you depressed, but that seems like it's more of a "you feel guilty", right?

Im pretty sure im an introvert ( or einzelgänger as some say ) and i found this informative and fun, thank you.

[May90]

I've never really "hung out" with people. I just don't see the point: I don't get any fun from just sitting in someone's house joking around, or eating in a restaurant. I mostly keep to myself, or if I do something with people, it is something meaningful, not just "Let's meet together and do something fun".

That said, I don't see myself as anti-social. When it interests me, I can be quite talkative, and I have no problem, say, doing public speaking, again, as long as it interests me. I just don't like wasting time on something I don't enjoy, and I don't feel like I owe anything to people I am in touch with: if they want me to hang out with them and I don't want it, I won't do it, and if they get offended, it is their problem.

[TJ]

To be blunt with you, get your arse out there and make yourself do things. No one else can..

You'll regret it when you're older. I'm 22 now and always had a decent gang of mates in school, got on with most of the year, but when it came going out to town and drinking etc I never went and they stopped asking me after that, as a result we drifted apart and haven't stayed in touch now whereas they have with the others. I feel a lot better when I've gone somewhere and seen if it was fun instead of wondering about it.

Oh, and life is SO MUCH more fun when you out and just talk to strangers and be social.

[EliWallach]

I'm similar. Basically a loner. Very few friends who I see very occasionally. But I did go to college and get a good job. I recall looking at myself in the mirror one day stoned half way out of my mind and telling myself that no one is going to do it for me so I got off my ass and finished school. It really comes down to that. Get off your butt and do something or you will just waste away. It doesn't have to be college but that's a good direction to go. It's the difference between a good life and no life at all.

[Deleted]

You got to love those people who define themselves as "introvert" and use it as an excuse to get out of any social interaction.

Just like there are no true extroverts, there are no true introverts. You clearly don't feel comfortable hanging out with people, and thats ok, but if you instead go sit at your house and do nothing but feeling sorry for yourself than that is time wasted.

Get out of your comfort zone, nobody will expect you to be a social animal, but everyone needs RL social interaction, internet social interaction is like taking food supplements, it works, its good, but you can't survive on them alone.

Force yourself in social situations, its difficult at first, but like with anything else, you will learn. Don't start taking pills like someone suggested, (unless you really have a condition).

I just hate being surrounded by idiots. Most places I go this is the case.

Then again I don't particularly like being surrounded by people. I can be I just would rather not. I'm your typical outgoing positive person who jokingly says he hates everyone, but I'm not actually joking.

I've found from experience that the people who think they are surrounded by fools and idiots tend to be the idiot themselves. That or just a case of narcism. Or you really are surrounded by idiots, in which case you should find new friends.

[Acidbaron]

Introvert is not anti-social. You can be introvert and still go out it's merely that you need alone time to recharge your batteries if you sit at home all the time it's not called being introvert it's called that there's an issue.

To the OP, stop telling yourself you are depressed go out and don't stress too much, the worst possible thing you can do is actually tell yourself that you are depressed since even if it's not true you start to believe it's true by repeating it enough. People don't stick around forever and if they are already saying that you prefer to sit behind a pc instead of the company of others it's time to stop hiding behind one.

edit: it's alright to feel down, everyone goes through things in their life that they rather sit at home and not deal with others. But if this becomes routine you are doing more harm than good both to your health and social life.

[Uwibami]

I'm just here to point out that "Anti-social" is not the same as "Asocial".

http://www.differencebetween.net/sci...l-and-asocial/

[Nyoken]

Everyones different... if people can't accept you for who you are. fuck them, seriously just fuck them. nothing wrong with you

[Bender]

Social interaction, like everything else, takes practice to become used to. If you are not well versed in social interaction you are not going to enjoy it, simply because it isn't fun. I've been in a similar boat as you have, always considered myself introverted, still do to an extent. Social gatherings have become increasingly fun as I have progressed as a person, nowadays I start to get a bit jittery if I'm alone for too long. Since you seem to not be content by spending so much time alone you probably should try meeting people. The more you do it the more fun it's going to get. Don't fall into the trap of labeling yourself as an introvert and then just avoid people. Most introverts I know really enjoy social interactions, they just need some alone time in between to recharge.

For me personally I'm even starting to re-evaluate if I even am an introvert at all. As I get more people skills I enjoy social gatherings more and more, and they feel increasingly more like I get energy from it rather than lose it, as I did before. Your mileage may vary, but if you are unhappy with your situation you should always try to do something different. Stagnating is scary.