Dad groups call anti-domestic violence posters sexist.

[Deleted]

So some of you may have heard of this, but unless you actually look at news sources that cover this sort of thing then you probably didn't.

The short is that the Royal Borough of Greenwich in South-East London put up some anti-domestic violence posters that specifically, and only, fingered dads as abusers. Fathers' rights groups were outraged that this kind of equating domestic violence with exclusively men, and forgetting about the women (and male victims) is still being perpetuated, despite crime statistics showing domestic violence initiated by women is on the rise (likely also more of it getting reported) and, according to the ManKind Initiative, roughly 40% of domestic violence occurs against men in the UK. National government statistics place it at about 4.5% of men, and 8.5% of women experiencing domestic abuse.

Full story:

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015...n_8008142.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/relat...-must-end.html

http://metro.co.uk/2015/08/18/domest...o-men-5348984/

Remember the Slimming World debacle? Remember how many news outlets posted about it and how many public figures encouraged women to vandalise posters simply for promoting a particular lifestyle? Here we have a story where a seriously harmful stereotype, that only men have the power to abuse people, is being pushed by a government entity and I could only find 4 stories about it in a week.

[THE Bigzoman]

While I think both genders engage in Abuse roughly the same, I think the types of abuse differ. It makes perfect sense for it to since men are physically stronger, on average.

That said, I think that the idea that only one gender engages in most/all abuse will fade as domestic violence among gay couples become more common.

[AeneasBK]

"The council have defended the posters, and pointed out that they are part of a larger campaign which featured many different posters and slogans."

However I would agree with the sentiment that insofar as domestic abuse is concerned there is a false culture that men are the perpetrators in nearly all cases regardless of evidence so I can understand why people aren't happy. It would be more telling to know how many of each poster was put up, and whereabouts they were posted.

[Revi]

I don't hugely mind campaigns targeting specific groups, in this case women, but I don't see why they can't just feature both women and men in the campaign. It's not like that would lessen the impact somehow. "Lots of people are abused, we know it's hard to escape, but we're here for you, please let us help".. No need to focus solely on women.

[vrsick]

While I think both genders engage in Abuse roughly the same, I think the types of abuse differ. It makes perfect sense for it to since men are physically stronger, on average.

That said, I think that the idea that only one gender engages in most/all abuse will fade as domestic violence among gay couples become more common.

You misogynistic pig!

[Graeham]

Domestic abuse needs to be taken more seriously across the board. It happens to both genders - and yet there's so little help out there available to men who end up trapped in abusive relationships or need to deal with the lasting trauma and trust issues that can arise in the aftermath.

[Zenfoldor]

You misogynistic pig!

I think women are forced to accept that men are physically stronger on average. Otherwise, every sport that doesn't allow men and women to compete against each other would be sexist. If the physical reason is imaginary, then splitting sports by gender would be considered gender segregation, separate but not equal.

[greeeed]

You misogynistic pig!

Tell that to human biology

[Damajin]

I was born in/grew up in an abusive household for the early formative decade of my life and though I wasn't the primary target I got my fair share and have seen some terrible things happen in my time so this is from personal experience as well as shared conversations with others in similar situations. It was male instigated, for the record.

The fact that men are stronger than women isn't a relevant factor in the causes of abuse, since it comes from either willful intent or from lack of self control which are about the personality of the abuser, their mental and emotional/spiritual faculties. It's another form of the pen is mightier than the sword, the mind and heart direct the muscles and not the other way around. It's pretty easy to push the image of the dumb brutish guy whose solution for everything is his fists, which is to me why we're still seeing domestic violence portrayed from the male instigator standpoint, it fits to general longstanding stereotype that doesn't require much work or rewriting of narrative but it also lets both sexes bury their head in the sand and in the case of men engage in that female protectionism that is hardwired into us even if it's protecting them from their destructive actions, the White Knighting being a hard habit or code to shake. All of that needs to change, especially the focus on the physical acts when it is the mental/emotional side of the person regardless of their sex that causes it.

As to physical strength and size with the change in culture we do have women who are larger than they've ever been and that's not all fat. Women aiming to be curvy rather than model stickfigure thin means more size and muscle to throw around. Gyms are filling up with women hitting the weights, taking boxing and other martial arts classes and in general doing more things that translate to more strength to do more damage if/when they attack someone. When I was growing up all the kids in the neighborhood would share stories about getting paddled by their mom and laughing at it since she wasn't strong enough to hurt them, and I don't think that'd be the case anymore. Some of these women have as much muscle and size as some men making them physically capable of doing some to quite a bit of damage.

To summarize: longstanding traditions keep us locked into the showcasing of abuse as male centric but those traditions have less relevance and call for a change in how we show it in media and the like, with more of a focus on it being a mental and emotional derived act that either sex is capable of doing while also noting that changes in culture have seen women gain both the size and strength to put them closer if not equal to some men in just how much damage they can physically inflict. Equality and reason level that playing field and perception to destigmatize men as a whole and focus on abuse as a general and not a gender thing.

[Hyve]

I recall a report and analysis of this situation, and it found abuse is now evenly split between Males & Females. Men are not the bumbling, terrible abusive fathers that they're portrayed to be in almost every TV Series, Movie, Book and in these kind of Anti-Abuse Posters.

[AndaliteBandit]

While I think both genders engage in Abuse roughly the same, I think the types of abuse differ. It makes perfect sense for it to since men are physically stronger, on average.

Women are as likely to be physically abusive, just not as likely to cause as much physical damage. While the emotional abuse that goes hand-in-hand with this is comparable, the physical damage is more superficial. However, this makes it easier for women to get away with it, as they're less likely to leave telltale marks.

[tehealadin]

It is a very serious issue. There is no excuse for it. However the way in which some campaigners tackle the issue bothers me. It isn't a "women's issue", insofar as it doesn't only happen to women. And it bothers me that female on male violence isn't taken as seriously, or in same cases not seriously at all. I don't like the way gender influences our perceptions of violence. It is far more acceptable for a man to be the victim. Not just men, but boys too. Now I know that most perpetrators of violence (not just in a domestic setting) are male. I do think it is worth looking at how we view violence and gender in understanding this. I don't think it is simply testosterone making all men savages. Violent adults tend to be raised in violent homes, and are raised to see violence as an acceptable way to deal with things. This is purely anecdotal, and I would love to know if there is any research into this, however in my experience, little boys are more likely to be beaten by their parents than girls, or are more likely to have more savage beatings than little girls, because we are taught to believe that it is always wrong to hit a girl, but boys are more acceptable. Is it any wonder then that men tend to make up the majority of violent criminals? I don't claim that biology doesn't play a part, but I don't think gender based attitudes help the issue.

Now I get that male on female violence in a domestic setting tends to result in more serious injuries, and is more likely to be fatal. And I understand that some campaigners will focus in on one aspect of the issue (e.g. male on female), however when it is done in this way, it implies that it only happens to women, done by men. I once had a talk from a women's aid group on the issue. The definition they used stated clearly that the perpetrator must be male, and the victim female. They didn't even recognise male victims (they paid lip service to it, then glossed over it fast), not did it acknowledge violence in same sex relationships. I don't know how common it is in same sex relationships, even so, the victim should have their suffering taken seriously and not diminished because of their gender and the perpetrator.

If you are against domestic violence, you are against all domestic violence, and cannot dismiss someone based on gender, when you do that you are using domestic violence for something else.

Some people bring up size and strength differences as to why female on male violence shouldn't be taken seriously. I have 2 problems with this-

1- It ignores the psychological impact of violence. Being big and strong does not mean that you are capable of dealing with violence emotionally and psychologically. The psychological impact, outside of death or disability/permanent disfigurement is the most destructive aspect of violence. It creates a prison of fear for the person, and being bigger doesn't give immunity to this.

2- This extends to a more general issue, not so much domestic violence, but on the whole notion of "violence against women". Say you see a video on youtube of a small guy picking on a larger guy, and the larger guy hammers him. How many people do you think will say "woah, the big guy shouldn't have done that, he is too big and strong!"? I don't think many would- most would say "he shouldn't have picked a fight with someone stronger than him". A valid point, and valuable life lesson. So size difference in violence isn't, for the most part, a valid defence of "women need special treatment", we ignore it in men, so why not in women?

This ties into my earlier point about gender and violence. This attitude means male victims won't be taken as seriously. It means it will be more acceptable for parents to beat little boys, and is likely to play some role in giving us violent men. This issue needs to stop being hijacked by radicals, using it as a front in gender warfare, and instead be taken over by people who care about the issue (domestic violence) and who care about all victims, and stop using gender as a means to justify/condone violence and dismiss victims.

Most suicide victims are men, we don't make that a male issue- it is equally as devastating for the families of female victims. As for domestic violence, it is cruel to suggest that a male victim cannot find it devastating, it might not be so much in a physical sense, but emotionally there is no reason to think a penis makes you better able to deal with violence.