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[Jack Wolf]

Two men are shouting at eachother on a sidewalk. One is a firefighter, and the other is a zookeeper.

The zookeeper shouts at the firefighter "There's a house on fire behind you!".

The firefighter shouts "You're lyin'!".

The zookeeper shouts back "I'm not lying, are you crazy!? A house is on fire behind you!".

The firefighter points off into the distance behind the zookeeper and says "No, your lion! It broke free and it's eating someone!".

...

[Selastan]

Three guys walk into a bar. You figure at least one of them would have ducked.

[Blueobelisk]

A keyboard walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "no way am I serving you. You already owe an outstanding balance." The keyboard says "just put it on my tab."

[Ripster42]

I don't get it, keyboard, tab? Like short for tablature? I thought tab applied to geetars and sheet to keys.

[Fawkess]

What was Hitlers favourite game?

Yatzi

[apepi]

What did the Irish opthamologist name his Daughter? Irish.

Yeah, I thought a different ones last Saint Patrick's day.

[Tileyfa]

What does a Canadian pirate say?

sARRRy