Australian Police mistake Spider for Wife

[Deleted]

Img: Neighbours reported the man as yelling 'I’m going to kill you, you’re dead' followed by screams.

Sydney - Police say a man was left “quite embarrassed” after several neighbours mistook his efforts to kill a spider for a domestic violence incident.

Around 2am on Sunday several police cars rushed to an apartment in the northern suburb of Wollstonecraft, responding to reports of a woman screaming hysterically, a man yelling, “I’m going to kill you, you’re dead”, and furniture being thrown.

A man police described as “out of breath and rather flushed” answered the door and the local area command’s Facebook page documented the exchange that followed.

“Where’s your wife?” an officer asked.
“I don’t have one,” the man replied.
“Where’s your girlfriend?” he pressed.
“I don’t have one,” he said.

Police told the man neighbours had heard the screams, the threats to kill, the dull thud of flung furniture. “Come on mate, what have you done to her?” the officer asked.

“It was a spider,” the man replied sheepishly. “A really big one.”
“What about the woman screaming?”
“Yeah sorry, that was me,” he said. “I really, really hate spiders.”

The commotion was down to the man frantically chasing the spider around his apartment with a can of insect spray, police said.
They inspected the unit just to be sure, finding nobody injured. “Other than the spider,” officers added.

Source: http://www.msn.com/en-au/news/nation...Lbs?li=AAavLaF

[Mihalik]

Than the police was forced to shoot the spider repeatedly to put it down.

Spider version of.

[Revi]

I can relate. Few weeks ago I was woken up by one of those massive loud flies zipping past my ear, and of course when I got up to kill it it was nowhere to be found. Every time I tried to go back to sleep it came back buzzing around my ear, actually repeatedly crashing into it, and then full stealth mode when I tried to find it to kill it. After like 30 minutes of that you enter a special kind of rage.

[Mihalik]

I can relate. Few weeks ago I was woken up by one of those massive loud flies zipping past my ear, and of course when I got up to kill it it was nowhere to be found. Every time I tried to go back to sleep it came back buzzing around my ear, actually repeatedly crashing into it, and then full stealth mode when I tried to find it to kill it. After like 30 minutes of that you enter a special kind of rage.

And that is how neighborhoods get burned to the ground.

[King Shark]

Next time he'd best:

[Deleted]

I can relate. Few weeks ago I was woken up by one of those massive loud flies zipping past my ear, and of course when I got up to kill it it was nowhere to be found. Every time I tried to go back to sleep it came back buzzing around my ear, actually repeatedly crashing into it, and then full stealth mode when I tried to find it to kill it. After like 30 minutes of that you enter a special kind of rage.

Norway has flies in winter?

[Mihalik]

Norway has flies in winter?

Norway is strange. Once I was reviewing some energy infrastructure project in northern Norway, and I've seen what I can only identify as dense clouds of mosquitoes.

People would think you don't have much in the way of insects so far up north, but nope, THEY ARE FUCKING EVERYWHERE. And we are talking about +8 to +15 C temperatures.

[Kronik85]

Holy fuck! Thank you Gen-OT, spent the last 5 minutes in hysterics, exactly what my soul needed.

[Mormolyce]

You gotta be careful in Australia, between the venomous spiders and the wives. I know which one keeps me up at night.

[Deleted]

Norway is strange. Once I was reviewing some energy infrastructure project in northern Norway, and I've seen what I can only identify as dense clouds of mosquitoes.

I heard that a swarm of arctic mosquitos can suck you dry and kill you.

[IIamaKing]

Well, it is Australia. So that was a life and death encounter. His screams and the commotion seem legit.

[Kaleredar]

Why does this sound like an Onion article.

[Jester Joe]

Well, it is Australia. So that was a life and death encounter. His screams and the commotion seem legit.

Indeed, yesterday even I learned Australia banned an episode of the child's show, Peppa Pig, because it had a friendly spider in it, and they didn't want children to think spiders could be friendly.

Proof, because the actual source was the Jackbox games- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...arachnids.html

[Yvaelle]

I heard that a swarm of arctic mosquitos can suck you dry and kill you.

They actually prefer to hollow out the intersticial fat between your organs and climb inside you for warmth - keeping you alive as long as possible - and only feasting upon you when you grow cold and they require a new host.

Source: I used to work in Northern Canada.

[Kaleredar]

Indeed, yesterday even I learned Australia banned an episode of the child's show, Peppa Pig, because it had a friendly spider in it, and they didn't want children to think spiders could be friendly.

Proof, because the actual source was the Jackbox games- http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...arachnids.html

Oh please. Bees are far more dangerous to the people of Australia. Hell, even the "OMG SO SCARY" giant huntsman spiders of Australia aren't even a threat to humans.

I like the list of "Australia's 10 most dangerous spiders." It leads off with The MOST DANGEROUS SPIDER IN ALL OF AUSTRALIA AND POTENTIALLY THE WORLD, THE DEADLY SYDNEY FUNNEL WEB... CAN CAUSE SEVERE REACTIONS IN... ONE... of six bites... and... hasn't had a recorded death since 1981...

The THIRD most deadly spider... hasn't had any recorded deaths since the 1950s.

When your list of "most deadly spiders" starts off like that, you know the spiders aren't all that dangerous.

And then by the fifth spider species it's down to "generally cause only localized pain"


You know, I bet more people have been seriously injured by pigs in Australia than spiders.

[Noradin]

They actually prefer to hollow out the intersticial fat between your organs and climb inside you for warmth - keeping you alive as long as possible - and only feasting upon you when you grow cold and they require a new host.

Source: I used to work in Northern Canada.

Ah so thats what those emergency plans the US military keeps in case of a zombie invasion are for.

[Revi]

Norway is strange. Once I was reviewing some energy infrastructure project in northern Norway, and I've seen what I can only identify as dense clouds of mosquitoes.

People would think you don't have much in the way of insects so far up north, but nope, THEY ARE FUCKING EVERYWHERE. And we are talking about +8 to +15 C temperatures.

What, you don't have those elsewhere? D: