Ok so it's the Night before Christmas and Santa falls off your roof?

[lonely zergling]

Santa can't fall of a roof, he is always prepared for everything! He uses a safety rope because that's written in his work safety regulations.

[Venant]

Become Santa and then fly to Times Square and go public, it would break our cohesive view of reality by suddenly exposing the world to the fact that magic and mythical beings are real. Of course, you would probably be assassinated by the men in black before you could accomplish this.

[Deleted]

Santa can't afford an ipad. he gives all of his product away for free. it's why he has to ride a sleigh with reindeer.

Sure he can. Santa runs a dictatorship with little elf slaves making toys for kids. He has a sleigh with several flying reindeer. Imagine if you pay 25$ for a flying mount in a game how much he payed for his real life flying mounts. Also, his sleigh is red because it's actually made of rubies with a gold trimming. His coat is made of kashmir wool with silk trimmings. He has a house in Scandinavia, so he does have some money, most likely from the oil business.

[Dys]

Considering the neighborhood I live in, the only thing I would do is call 911 for him as he most definitely fell off the roof because some random fuck shot him.

[Eleccybubb]

Burn the sleigh. Eat Santa and his Reindeer then go give Mrs Claus some of Santa's and the Reindeer's DNA so she can clone them and make a new Santa and Reindeers. (If they can make a magic flying sleigh then cloning is no problem) YEAH you weren't expecting that twist ending were you?

[Fus Ro Yay]

Sell him on the black market. he's eternal right? surely there's gotta be some rich dude somewhere wanting to buy him as some sort of exhibition.

[Frozenbeef]

No i'd steal his magical faster than light travel powers and use it to enslave humanity...

[Xargoth6634]

I'd just keep all of the presents.