Is wanting a monogamous relationship realistic?

[Verzen]

But how many aquatic apes are monogamous?

o.O Aquatic apes?

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Gibbons are.

Fair enough. I should have specified 'great apes'.

[Verzen]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquatic_ape_hypothesis

So it's a bunk idea.

Doesn't make sense at all.

[Deathquoi]

"Monogamous relationships are the domain of simpletons," he said whilst adjusting his fedora and stroking his neckbeard. "No woman will ever come between me and my wallscrolls."

[Abysal]

they post many great things on how this is the TRUEST love and poof, it ends up dying. They stay single for a couple months and hop over to their next "LOVE". And post on facebook how THIS ONE actually was the one, not the last one, only to have that relationship die as well.

People who talk about their relationships all the time on social media are usually not that good at relationships. If they are having a blast with their partner, they'll tell that to their face since they are around each other frequently. If they are posting about it on facebook all the time, it's either to convince their friends/family that that the relationship is working out (which likely means their friends/families are concerned) or it means they just want attention, in which case that's probably why they are in their relationship to begin with, which isn't the healthiest reason.

So yeah, monogamous relationships are possible, but they are far more likely to work out for people who aren't desperate for attention.

[tankbug]

Yes, more than half marriages survive, and even if one or both parties were unfaithful in....say... 70% of those again, you would still have a pretty huge number of totally successful monogamous relationships.

[Manabomb]

As a species, monogamy is definitely unrealistic. The only time it isn't unrealistic is when both individuals are keen to keep it that way. It's the same as any relationship, really. You and your partner need to be sure that's what you want and both strive towards that. Without that sort of social contract, there is no way for monogamy to work on its own.

[tankbug]

Of course. Many couples have achieved so.

It's just difficult to cultivate a mature relationship. Which is the actual problem in Western marriages; most are very immature or centered on individualism at their root.

But at least they are based on free choice, instead of family obligations, tradition, financial dependency and other things that aren't related to love.

[Wyrt]

Yes, more than half marriages survive, and even if one or both parties were unfaithful in....say... 70% of those again, you would still have a pretty huge number of totally successful monogamous relationships.

Also, most divorces happen because of communication issues and not because of infidelity. Though communication issues may lead to infidelity.

[Malta]

Monogamy does not imply longevity.

[Hammerfest]

It's very realistic, people just don't know it or want it to be.

[Shadowspire]

Literally every monogamous relationship I will be tested. Online dating, dating through video games, dating in person, hell IM sure even those strange waifu things ppl. Do in Japan are tested by other waifu sims(which if this is a thing, holy shit you deserve to only date robots to cheat on an inanimate object XD)

But while they are hard, they can be very very possible.

[tankbug]

Monogamy does not imply longevity.

More so than having multiple partners, yet both are harder than staying single for the rest of your life.

[Pratt]

I believe this was addressed recently.

[Malta]

More so than having multiple partners.

No, it doesn't. Monogamy implies nothing other than what it actually is. It's when people misunderstand that, that things get "messy".

[Maconi]

Honestly it probably depends on libido and the quality of the relationship. If your libido is being satisfied and you're satisfied with the relationship, the odds are probably low that you'll be unfaithful. Even more so if you're both inactive socially (you don't meet many new/attractive/fun people).

[tankbug]

No, it doesn't. Monogamy implies nothing other than what it actually is. It's when people misunderstand that, that things get "messy".

Monogamy isn't defined as being a life-long commitment, but it's considered to be the most successful of them, because that's the most natural form of relationship for most people. They don't expect it to last forever just like that, but that is their wish, and they will probably grow more confident as time goes by with lasting love and appreciation for the partnership.

[Malta]

Monogamy isn't defined as being a life-long commitment, but it's considered to be the most successful of them, because that's the most natural form of relationship for most people. They don't expect it to last forever just like that, but that is their wish, and they will probably grow more confident as time goes by with lasting love and appreciation for the partnership.

Do you have a lot of experience with Open or Polyamorous relationships?

[Bathory]

Of course, but you've gotta be ok with your SO finding other people attractive. It's only natural.

[Aoyi]

If you find the right person, yes, it can exist. I dated for a long time before finally finding that person. Our relationship has been tested over and over and, honestly, its never been stronger. In a little over a month's time, I'm facing a very serious surgery that may or may not go well for me and in the end, there's no one I would have rather spent the rest of my life with. Obviously, I'm hoping it goes well, but I also have to be realistic. There can be someone out there for you as long as you are the type of person who truly wants monogamy.

[tankbug]

Do you have a lot of experience with Open or Polyamorous relationships?

Does "fuckbuddy" count? Love was not a factor there.
Other than that, mostly observational, and I have read about people trying open relationships. They don't work for most people.
There are some exceptions, like mormons, certain muslim societies, tribal societies etc, but that's not a relationship of equal partners in love, so I don't think they should count.