dealing with children

[Shakadam]

What on earth compelled you to get into a relationship with someone who already has kids in the first place though O_o

[Ayla]

Its not the movie it's the treat or the "principle" if you prefer however lousy it may be.

Did you explain to her that it was sisters birthday present? Did you do something special for the younger sister on her Birthday, or will you? Did you explain this?

Fuck, some of your responses already make me think she's on her way to becoming a stripper because her daddies never loved her

I don't know what it's like to have my parents date other people, or show favoritism to an older sibling.

I can't tell you how she feels. I can't tell you if she has good friends at school, I can't tell you if she wants to be friends with hr sister and her sister rejects her.

What I can tell you to do is tread lightly and think about everything. Have you even asked her why she was upset, other than just worrying about a child whining like a child?

[oxymoronic]

What on earth compelled you to get into a relationship with someone who already has kids in the first place though O_o

its called being an adult, something you may enjoy one day

[Celista]

its called being an adult, something you may enjoy one day

I am fully an adult and haven't had to deal with a boyfriend who had rugrats. And I honestly wouldn't want to date someone who had young children...now, if I *happened* to meet someone who I really really liked but he had kids, I'd consider dating him maybe. But I don't want to be surrogate mom to someone else's offspring, I have my own life and responsibilities.

Someone else's kids are not my responsibility, and based on the experiences of friends of mine who have dated men/women with kids, it sure seems like many of these people try to make it your responsibility to take care of their kids.

[oxymoronic]

I am fully an adult and haven't had to deal with a boyfriend who had rugrats. And I honestly wouldn't want to date someone who had young children...now, if I *happened* to meet someone who I really really liked but he had kids, I'd consider dating him maybe. But I don't want to be surrogate mom to someone else's offspring, I have my own life and responsibilities.

Someone else's kids are not my responsibility, and based on the experiences of friends of mine who have dated men/women with kids, it sure seems like many of these people try to make it your responsibility to take care of their kids.

just cause you're the age of an adult doesnt make you one.

[Celista]

just cause you're the age of an adult doesnt make you one.

Oh I didn't realize that one had to sign up to be a surrogate parent and ATM in order to be considered an adult. My bad.

PS: Just going to add here...people should be cautious when bonding with a boyfriend/girlfriend's kids. In the event that you split up, you get NO rights unless you adopted the children in question or they are your biological offspring. If they are someone else's kids, and you want visitation rights after a breakup, too bad for you.

Just adds insult to injury for single people with kids who try to pawn off their rugrats on the men/women they date. ESPECIALLY if they were using the SO as a form of finanical support/babysitter/surrogate parent. Hopefully most single parents are more responsible than that and are super cautious before bringing around someone new (for the sake of the children at least, if not the person they're dating), but I'm sure that many aren't.

[Kuja]

What on earth compelled you to get into a relationship with someone who already has kids in the first place though O_o

Love?

This message is apparently too short.

[Alvito]

Treating children fairly doesn't mean doing the same things with them or giving them the same things. Say when I was a kid if I was given a basketball as a gift I would have loved it, my sister on the other hand wouldn't have been as happy. While you shouldn't be cruel or leave children out of things on purpose all the time, it is important for them to understand that fair isn't really a thing as you grow up.

[Oktoberfest]

Awful and frankly I reject this notion. It's an extremely childish and immature behavior that suggests they both must have something or they can't have anything . It results in nobody having nice things. Why can't she be happy for her bigger sister?

- - - Updated - - -

Yea they seem him from time to time he lives a couple hours away their mother is their primary care giver though

1. They are having Daddy issues if he is not there for them on a daily basis. You are now the substitute for Daddy in their minds. Did Dad move away or Mom move away from Dad? Parents dont just end up hours away.

2. The youngest is young so she doesnt know how to deal with not having Daddy around. So she will cling. If you are in this for the long haul you need to sit down with her and make her understand that just because you spend time with the others that it isnt a rejection of her. Also dont divide Dad from them. If anything build up Dad some for them.

They should probably be talking to their Dad daily via skype or at least phone.