Woman Claims She Deserves Maternity Leave Even Though She Has No Kids

[Deleted]

http://nypost.com/2016/04/28/i-want-...ving-any-kids/

I want all the perks of maternity leave — without having any kids



Meghann Foye, 38, was jealous of co-workers clocking out for maternity leave, and decided she needed a break of her own. Here, the author of the novel “Meternity” (Mira, out now), tells The Post’s Anna Davies why she believes every woman deserves mandated “me time.”

I was 31 years old in 2009, and I loved my career. As an editor at a popular magazine, I got to work on big stories, attend cool events, and meet famous celebs all the time.

And yet, after 10 years of working in a job where I was always on deadline, I couldn’t help but feel envious when parents on staff left the office at 6 p.m. to tend to their children, while it was assumed co-workers without kids would stay behind to pick up the slack.

“You know, I need a maternity leave!” I told one of my pregnant friends. She laughed, and we spent the afternoon plotting my escape from my 10-hour days, fake baby bump and all.

Of course, that didn’t happen. But the more I thought about it, the more I came to believe in the value of a “meternity” leave — which is, to me, a sabbatical-like break that allows women and, to a lesser degree, men to shift their focus to the part of their lives that doesn’t revolve around their jobs.

For women who follow a “traditional” path, this pause often naturally comes in your late 20s or early 30s, when a wedding, pregnancy and babies means that your personal life takes center stage. But for those who end up on the “other” path, that socially mandated time and space for self-reflection may never come.

When I graduated from college in the early 2000s, I enjoyed the same unspoken expectation shared among my fellow Gen-Xers: If you poured your heart and soul into your career, you would eventually get to a director level and have the flexibility, paycheck and assistants beneath you to begin to create a work-life balance. Then the 2008 recession hit, and people were lucky to have jobs at all. Assistants and perks disappeared across industries, and I felt like the cultural expectation was that we should now be tethered to our desks and our smartphones.

It seemed that parenthood was the only path that provided a modicum of flexibility. There’s something about saying “I need to go pick up my child” as a reason to leave the office on time that has far more gravitas than, say, “My best friend just got ghosted by her OkCupid date and needs a margarita” — but both sides are valid.

And as I watched my friends take their real maternity leaves, I saw that spending three months detached from their desks made them much more sure of themselves. One friend made the decision to leave her corporate career to create her own business; another decided to switch industries. From the outside, it seemed like those few weeks of them shifting their focus to something other than their jobs gave them a whole new lens through which to see their lives.

While both men and women would benefit from a “meternity” leave after a decade or so in the workforce, the concept is one that would be especially advantageous for women. Burnout syndrome is well-documented in both sexes, but recent research suggests that women may experience it at greater rates; researchers postulate that it’s because women (moms and non-moms alike) feel overloaded by the roles they have to take on at work and at home.

Bottom line: Women are bad at putting ourselves first. But when you have a child, you learn how to self-advocate to put the needs of your family first. A well-crafted “meternity” can give you the same skills — and taking one shouldn’t disqualify you from taking maternity leave later.

As for me, I did eventually give notice at my job and take a “meternity” of my own. I may not have been changing diapers, but I grappled with self-doubt for the year and a half that I spent away from the corporate world. And I grieved the loss of my dad, who had just died after a long illness. But a “meternity” done right should be challenging. It should be about digging into your whole life and emerging from it more confident in who you are.

It also gave me the opportunity to help someone achieve their “meternity” dreams — even if that person was a fictional character. My first novel, “Meternity,” was just released, and is about a woman who fakes a pregnancy and discovers some hard truths about what it’s really like to “have it all.”

Ultimately, what I learned from my own “meternity” leave is that any pressure I felt to stay late at the office wasn’t coming from the parents on staff. It was coming from myself. Coming back to a new position, I realized I didn’t need an “excuse” to leave on time. And that’s what I would love the take-away for my book to be: Work-life balance is tough for everyone, and it happens most when parents and nonparents support and don’t judge each other.

I want kids in the future, and I might still take a traditional maternity leave. I might not. But either way, I’m happy my “meternity” taught me to live on my own terms and advocate what works for me.

[Atrea]

Thanks for linking an article, then copy and pasting the contents of the article in the thread without actually giving any input of your own.

It's great to see that MMO-C is becoming a shitty news repost site.

[Deleted]

Thanks for linking an article, then copy and pasting the contents of the article in the thread without actually giving any input of your own.

It's great to see that MMO-C is becoming a shitty news repost site.

Fair point but isn't that what you just did

My opinion is that this is pretty funny, so I posted it

[tangers58]

That "me" time is your vacation... you already get it, stop whining.

[Gurluas]

All people sometime need a break to sort out their lives. But isn't that basically what vacation is?

[Crispin]

Wow what an ignorant..

[Azadina]

Yeah....How about...No?

[Dextroden]

So, a vacation?

Yeah. While human beings do need breaks, this just sounds stupid. Plus, a year and a half off a work, even painted as a reprieve, seems pretty high.

Then the distracting stuff.

1. "Meternity". It's fucking vacation time. It did not need a vomit inducing newspeak. And sounds really fucking greedy when you realize this all stemmed from jealousy.

2. Her book character is the reason people are sketchy about this. Honest hypothetical. Would you lie about having a kid for extended time off? Some probably will.

2.

[The Whimsical Dwarf]

"It seemed that parenthood was the only path that provided a modicum of flexibility. There’s something about saying “I need to go pick up my child” as a reason to leave the office on time that has far more gravitas than, say, “My best friend just got ghosted by her OkCupid date and needs a margarita” — but both sides are valid."

Um, no they aren't.

Jesus, and women wonder why they on average earn less? Here's proof: This woman spends her work day complaining and plotting on how to do less work. You know, this is typical of the women at my husbands work place. The water works start if anyone criticizes their laziness, and it's excuse after excuse when they are expected to actually work.

[Katie N]

She is crazy.

[tj119]

This woman is the living epitome of stupid.

[Sykol]

It looks like she needs less free time to spend eating.

[tankbug]

"It seemed that parenthood was the only path that provided a modicum of flexibility. There’s something about saying “I need to go pick up my child” as a reason to leave the office on time that has far more gravitas than, say, “My best friend just got ghosted by her OkCupid date and needs a margarita” — but both sides are valid."

Um, no they aren't.

Jesus, and women wonder why they on average earn less? Here's proof: This woman spends her work day complaining and plotting on how to do less work. You know, this is typical of the women at my husbands work place. The water works start if anyone criticizes their laziness, and it's excuse after excuse when they are expected to actually work.

What proof? You just make up crazy theories based on articles about a few individuals and your lack of respect for women. In my experience, the women I've worked with are more focused and more concerned about the quality of their work, maybe because they need to prove themselves in a male dominated industry.

[Dextroden]

What proof? You just make up crazy theories based on articles about a few individuals and your lack of respect for women. In my experience, the women I've worked with are more focused and more concerned about the quality of their work, maybe because they need to prove themselves in a male dominated industry.

Or. And I need you to stay with me on this. They just aren't lazy coworkers.

What is it with painting every single woman who's not awful at their job as "trying to prove themselves"?

[Deleted]

It's in the US. You guys really really work too much and don't get enough vacation (speaking statistically ofc!). Sabbaticals or longer vacations (several months to a year) are actually very useful and productive, they used to be a good practice in academia, with many great ideas, good projects etc born of them. A lot is lost in the rush.

Depends on the sector, but in my country you may apply for a year-long paid leave for health (generally, mental health - burnout, fatigue) reasons. Some people say it's "lazy", but it's inherently not, it's what you make of it. Sometimes it makes you a better worker, sometimes it results in a good side-project or renewed motivation etc.

Of course maternity leave w/o children is bullshit, but you should get both options: mat. leave to take care of your children (those who have/have had small kids know that it's NOT 100% relax and you-time at all, lol), sabbaticals/fatigue vacations to take care of yourself.

[The Whimsical Dwarf]

What proof? You just make up crazy theories based on articles about a few individuals and your lack of respect for women. In my experience, the women I've worked with are more focused and more concerned about the quality of their work, maybe because they need to prove themselves in a male dominated industry.

It's great that you have capable, responsible employees. I'm well aware not all women suck in the workplace. What I said was on average women earn less because of lazy annoying people like the woman in the article. I don't respect women who cry in the work place and get out of doing their jobs because they will sue if they get fired.

[Justpassing]

Crazy woman has a crazy scheme to make money. More news at 11!

No really what's it with you and crazy women threads Xarim? Do you have like a handmade script that feeds you these articles all over the net? I don't read news all that much but I can't imagine coming across as many as the threads of which you've made...

[Deleted]

[Katie N]

It looks like she needs less free time to spend eating.

How mean. xD

[Deleted]

Mothers have no me time until kids are like 15 or so. Maternity leave is thing to make living with those lil brats tolerable.