Worried about my raid leader - please help

[Wilfire]

I have no idea what section this would belong in so posting this in General.

So a while ago I met this great guy through LFG and I've been running raids every week with him leading. Very nice guy, very funny and very understanding. However, I have started to notice some things that have me worried about him.

First of all, he always uses continuous voice transmission so I can hear everything that's going on in his house. There always seems to be many people shouting / screaming and I've heard children crying several times. Now this normally wouldn't be an issue since that always seems to be the case with people who use continuous transmission but there's always this nagging female voice in the background saying something in a foreign language and my raid leader seems genuinely upset every time that happens. I've overheard her say things like "mudak" and "pidarast" which I'm assuming don't mean anything nice.

Then a month ago my raid leader was interrupted mid boss by something that sounded like people fighting. He came back several minutes later and disbanded the raid. Since then he has become more irritable and less tolerant of screw ups. And now just several days ago there was a loud crashing sound coming from his room after which he went afk and hasn't logged back on since.

From what I can gather it's likely that there's some kind of domestic disturbance going on over there, but I've no idea what country he is in or his address or other data that could help identify him and notify the authorities. I'm not even sure if this is any of my business but it seems wrong to just do nothing. Has anyone else here ever dealt with a situation like this?

[BananaHandsB]

You could try contacting Blizz customer support. They might be able to contact authorities in his area, but I'm really not sure. The only thing I can think to do would be to try and contact anyone you know who might know him. Ask those people if they know anyone who knows him closer, etc, and you might be able to get a cell phone/e-mail/etc. If you know his name you can try facebook.

[LavenderBee]

Judging by

I've overheard her say things like "mudak" and "pidarast" which I'm assuming don't mean anything nice.

he's from Russia or maybe another CIS country. I wouldn't get my hopes high with any authority doing anything in CIS zone, so Blizz probably ain't much help either. Best you can do is to ask if he wants to talk about it, maybe.

[Deleted]

Ask him to configure push-to-talk. Also, disbanding the raid seems very unprofessional of him - ask him to explain why and tell him he should limit his afking to dedicated raid breaks - leaving the raid in the middle of pulls etc seem also bad. To be honest, you're not going to get optimal progress with RL like that.

[Deleted]

I dislike people who disband raid groups when they have to go. I also dislike people who don't use push to talk when they know they have a lot of background noise.

[munkeyinorbit]

A raid member had a home invasion while he was raiding. He stabbed someone in defense of his home so he had to deal with the fuzz as well. He came back though about 90 mins later and we all had a good laugh. Was pretty funny cause the raid was full of gangster wannabes and then this happened to someone who actually lived in a dodgy inner city suburb Americans might call the ghetto and they were shocked that this sort of thing could actually happen. I was just surprised it had not happened already cause I knew the suburb.

[LightClaw]

Ask him to configure push-to-talk. Also, disbanding the raid seems very unprofessional of him - ask him to explain why and tell him he should limit his afking to dedicated raid breaks - leaving the raid in the middle of pulls etc seem also bad. To be honest, you're not going to get optimal progress with RL like that.

Lol 100% totally what OP was concerned about. On topic I really wish I had better advice as if you're concerned to the point of posting it sounds pretty sketchy, but only thing I could think of is making a ticket to blizz explaining the situation and being persistent until you get someone on their end that wants to potentially help a situation like that (hopefully 1st response but I could see your average GM not wanting to get involved in something in depth like that.) Honestly I could see this being very hard in EU if you're over there though just due to country barriers unfortunately. Since blizz should have a lot more of his personal info hopefully they could get in contact with the proper people though.

edit: typos cause typing 2 hard

[Deleted]

Ok, so somewhat more serious answer:

I'm guessing you're not using the in-game Blizzard voice chat? (because I guess no one is). In that case, Blizzard can't really do much about it - and there's no evidence of anything happening in-game.

Also, in some countries (like Russia) domestic violence is not a serious felony (or even a felony) so there's not really much legal ground for the Blizzaard support helpdesk to stand on. It's not their job to police the homes of the players - and they really don't have any means to do so. They can only respond to in-game issues.

If you're really concerned about this and you feel there's a connection between you and this RL - then talk to him about it. Get to know him and his situation (it does sound like you're just a bunch of strangers who pug together?) - support him in the way a random Internet stranger can another Internet stranger in tight spot (assuming he ever logs back on).

But more realistically, it's really none of your business. Iif you like the raids, but are bothered by his background noise - ask him to use push-to-talk.

Sorry, your options are very limited.

[WillFeral]

Pretty sure he is russian:

Mudak — literally, "testicle". This word is never used in its original meaning, but has come into common currency to mean an "asshole" or "dickhead," i.e. a man you find disagreeable. This word is at the soft-core end of the mat spectrum, but a phrase like "on polny mudak", is still a dire condemnation of anyone it is used to denote. When a shapka-wearing Volga driver cuts you off on the Garden Ring, "mudak!" is what you shout out of your window at him. A younger "mudak" could be tenderly referred to as a "mudachok", while an adult male could also be termed a "mudilo" — a particularly unpleasant subspecies of the "mudak".


Pidaras
Fag in Russian (also see pidar ). A widespread swear word Russians employ. Often employed as an insult even if the target is not homosexual. Comparable to fucker in English.

From what i can put together from your post is he has an angry wife/gf due to him sitting and playing a game for hours on end while there are kids to be taken care of and she is tired of doing it alone and voicing how she feels and probably does not realize or comprehend there are dozens of people hearing her and at the same time he is embarrassed by it and lashing out back at her to save face in front if the guild/raid.

Welcome to WoW and the IRL stuff that comes along with it.

[Knaar]

If he never came back online after that last incident like you said, and since he's apparently from russia-ish, and the big crashing sound, i would not exclude the potential meeting of a baseball bat and a computer. It would honestly not surprise me :')

[Wild]

U have two options.
1. Either confront him, ask him about what the hell is going on! (If u know him well enough)
2. Leave the guild, leave him alone and GTFO. /ignore

I had a similar issue back in classic: A WoW-friend of mine also had some noises and disturbances in the background while we were playing. He sometimes muted and came back disturbed. I just confronted him and asked him WTF was going on. He then really opend up and told me about his family issues. I think it was his step-father hitting his mom or something. He was glad he could talk to me, he even cried of relieve.

So as I said, that guy either needs help (if hes open for it) or u need to GTFO cos its none of ur beeswax.

[judgementofantonidas]

I have no idea what section this would belong in so posting this in General.

So a while ago I met this great guy through LFG and I've been running raids every week with him leading. Very nice guy, very funny and very understanding. However, I have started to notice some things that have me worried about him.

First of all, he always uses continuous voice transmission so I can hear everything that's going on in his house. There always seems to be many people shouting / screaming and I've heard children crying several times. Now this normally wouldn't be an issue since that always seems to be the case with people who use continuous transmission but there's always this nagging female voice in the background saying something in a foreign language and my raid leader seems genuinely upset every time that happens. I've overheard her say things like "mudak" and "pidarast" which I'm assuming don't mean anything nice.

Then a month ago my raid leader was interrupted mid boss by something that sounded like people fighting. He came back several minutes later and disbanded the raid. Since then he has become more irritable and less tolerant of screw ups. And now just several days ago there was a loud crashing sound coming from his room after which he went afk and hasn't logged back on since.

From what I can gather it's likely that there's some kind of domestic disturbance going on over there, but I've no idea what country he is in or his address or other data that could help identify him and notify the authorities. I'm not even sure if this is any of my business but it seems wrong to just do nothing. Has anyone else here ever dealt with a situation like this?

That is why I learned early on to chain my wife in the basement during raid time.

[Deleted]

That is why I learned early on to chain my wife in the basement during raid time.

Yeah, uncontrolled wife is a 15% net DPS loss. Should probably give the raid spot to someone else.

[Trollokdamus]

You could try contacting Blizz customer support. They might be able to contact authorities in his area, but I'm really not sure.

Yeah, this isn't realy a good idea unless you have some solid proof of major domestic violence on your hands. Else you'll only get him into more trouble. Unfortunately, in this particular case no one but your RL can make the situation better for himself and any outside interference will most likely just make it worse for him.
As others have said, try to talk to him whenever you see him online but don't be too intrusive.

[Eleccybubb]

Here is exactly what happened according to my incredibly smart brain and detective skills:

He is the child of 2 abusive parents, they beat and fight each other daily. They take out their frustrations on said child, AKA raid leader, for not leaving their house.

Child is also 35 years old, in the midst of their fighting they call him a fag and threaten to remove his testicles.

over the months he becomes more scared for his life, his sister is constantly crying too.

The mother, driven to insanity from not only her husband, but her manchild son: crashed the car into the house trying to kill the father causing an explosion.

What the actual hell Bjoramier?

[unfilteredJW]

Ask him to configure push-to-talk. Also, disbanding the raid seems very unprofessional of him - ask him to explain why and tell him he should limit his afking to dedicated raid breaks - leaving the raid in the middle of pulls etc seem also bad. To be honest, you're not going to get optimal progress with RL like that.

Are you for real?

[Deleted]

You are far off - just inexperienced to describe humans in anguish. Trolls will never reach the experience of true horror - so, nope you should still fear black guy coming closer and closer to you.

[kamuimac]

Ask him to configure push-to-talk. Also, disbanding the raid seems very unprofessional of him - ask him to explain why and tell him he should limit his afking to dedicated raid breaks - leaving the raid in the middle of pulls etc seem also bad. To be honest, you're not going to get optimal progress with RL like that.

savage a f....

[Deleted]

Yeah, this isn't realy a good idea unless you have some solid proof of major domestic violence on your hands.

Also, as has been said before in this thread. Domestic Violence isn't a major felony in some countries. Like in Russia.
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-38745827

People also communicate differently. Shouting and screaming obscenitets between spouses isn't totally unheard of. There's just really not very much we can do.
Talk to the guy if he ever came back online. If not. Well...