Intolerance towards bisexual and transgender...

[Deleted]

I was having a conversation with a friend about the alleged hostility towards bisexuals and transgender within the LGBT community. Now alleged is probably unfair because their definitely is a negative stigma towards bisexuals and transgender within the LGBT community however I don't have the statistics on what % and whether it's increasing, personally I am of the opinion it's becoming less common but you may very well disagree. For those unaware what I am talking about I shall try and explain; three of the most common comments towards bisexuals are:

A.I won't date a bisexual because they're more likely to cheat!
B.They're really just gay and just using bisexuality as a stepping stone!
C. Bisexuals only want to fuck the same gender and have relationships with the opposite sex

I'll try and go through each one and give my personal opinion:

A - I often see this said on gay social media and I honestly believe it is unfair. Yes some bisexual people cheat, my own personal experience has shown a lot of married bisexuals willing to cheat but that's just personal anecdotes not fact. I don't believe there is a statistic highlighting infidelity high in bisexuals to warrant this comment. in fact I think this stigma is more fuelled by blinked anecdotal evidence.

B - Again an unfair comment. Yes I know a lot of people who were coming out gay used bisexual as a stepping stone especially during times when homosexuality was less accepted. Certainly when I was a teenager it was a popular tactic but I don't really think it's that common now and said comments are often (imo) said by the older generation.

C. Now unfortunately this stigma was caused by a lot of bisexuals themselves especially online where you would often see 'bisexual man looking for fun with men, relationship with woman'. That said if that's what they want then get over it, not every bisexual thinks like that and even if they do it's their preference not yours!

Regarding transgender that's more complex. I can understand why some feel T shouldn't be attached to LGB because transgender is more gender issues than sexuality but it is what it is and I welcome transgender. Now I have been accused of being transphobic because of my preferences. I am a gay man sexually attracted to men and especially the masculine qualities and the male form. I politely declined the sexual advances from a post op MTF and pre op FTM. They accused me of transphobia because I wasn't attracted to them which annoyed me slightly because some post op FTM are absolutely stunning and I totally would date them because they possess the qualities I find attractive (its very unlikely they would find me attractive however) Now I know transphobia does exist and is probably unfortunately common but I do worry some are just mistaken preferences...

Now I suspect this thread will be closed before a discussion even begins but it was on my mind and perhaps even just one person found it interesting and informative

[Deleted]

I don't discriminate between different sexual deviants. They're all disgusting.

[TITAN308]

Ibtl

/12345

[WskyDK]

Off to a great start already :P

It's Taft. Sigh and move on.

[Serpha]

Are you saying that "the tolerant" are in fact bigots? Because I agree!

[Deleted]

They accused me of transphobia because I wasn't attracted to them which annoyed me slightly because some post op FTM are absolutely stunning and I totally would date them because they possess the qualities I find attractive (its very unlikely they would find me attractive however) Now I know transphobia does exist and is probably unfortunately common but I do worry some are just mistaken preferences...

Ive heard that before too. Now I personally would never date a FTM no matter what unless maybe science advances so much that you can't tell the difference (including making them fertile and changing their chromosomes).

Accusing someone of "phobia" because they dont wanna sleep with someone for any reason though is a new low for them. What do they honestly expect? People to pity fuck them? I mean like I also dont like short men.. is it midgetophobia? Or men with light thin facial hair.. or gingers. Hell, it would even be perfectly ok if someone only dated blue eyed black doctors who are exactly 6'1 tall.

[Spectral]

Trans people becoming such a hot political topic has been surprising to me and made me more sympathetic to conservatives making slippery slope arguments that progressives are always going to be searching for some nominally oppressed fringe group to normalize. I used to basically figure that marriage equality was pretty much the last required piece of LGBT rights, but it turns out that desired policies are a moving target that just keeps getting more "progressive".

[Strangebrew]

I have seen alot of articles and statement's from the "progressive" side the last year or so, claiming that you are homophobic or transphobic if you don't want to fuck a chick with a dick, apparantly being attracted to certain genitals isn't allowed in this day and age.

Shit's wack.

[chazus]

As someone who's been an active part in the various forms of LGBT (Heck, I helped Sarah Andrews run the guild that Blizzard tried to shut down) community for literally decades, I've never really heard of this in the circles I've been, outside of people trying to get attention by stirring the pot.

[Independent voter]

I've noticed that the gay community is frowning on swishy gays too. It's like the Great Gay Purge.

[Deleted]

As someone who's been an active part in the various forms of LGBT (Heck, I helped Sarah Andrews run the guild that Blizzard tried to shut down) community for literally decades, I've never really heard of this in the circles I've been, outside of people trying to get attention by stirring the pot.

I do believe it's more common online in certain gay dating sites

- - - Updated - - -

I've noticed that the gay community is frowning on swishy gays too. It's like the Great Gay Purge.

What is swishy guys?

[Toppy]

Take this as a grain of salt, just voicing my own experiences.

I've had a few trans friends in the past. For some they broke off with me, others I with them. In two cases it was because they believed I was transphobic for not finding them attractive and not wanting to date them. In three cases it was that once they went through the change they started playing the victim for everything. Absolutely everything. Go to a bar and not get laid? Everyones just transphobic! Someone gives you a weird look at the grocery store? I feel so victimized! Someone makes a slur over the internet? It's like my soul was just raped!

Eventually I just couldn't stand it and had to break off since they were unwilling to listen when I asked them to calm down a bit.

[Deleted]

I was ...

A, A bisexual person will, by definition interact with twice as many potential 'risks' (We are presuming the most generous form of cheating, where it is just unintended attraction leading to an unfortunate decision).
C, The 'point' of a relationship is to settle down and have kids and do the 'normal' thing, now that is perfectly possible to do same sex style, but its harder, and is clearly not 'normal' - (To be abundantly clear, no valuation is meant to be perceived by 'Normal')
So yeah, its not a complaint taken out of thin air.

They accused me of transphobia because I wasn't attracted to them

And all women who declined my advances were misandrist - This is dumb, people like who they like (and consequently not).
Hell, this could be argued that gay people are hetero-phobic for not being straight...

[chazus]

I do believe it's more common online in certain gay dating sites

I wouldn't know, then. I only interact with people, not dating sites.

....doesn't that kind of change the entire discussion? It's kind of like just saying 'people on the internet are stupid', well yeah. We knew that already, that has nothing to do with the LGBT community.

[I Push Buttons]

And all women who declined my advances were misandrist - This is dumb, people like who they like (and consequently not).
Hell, this could be argued that gay people are hetero-phobic for not being straight...

Impossible, only straight white men can be bigoted. - SJWs

[Grimbold21]

Trans people becoming such a hot political topic has been surprising to me .

Honestly, this issue was unknown to me until i came across Peterson's crusade agaisnt Canada's Bill C16

[Deleted]

I wouldn't know, then. I only interact with people, not dating sites.

....doesn't that kind of change the entire discussion? It's kind of like just saying 'people on the internet are stupid', well yeah. We knew that already, that has nothing to do with the LGBT community.

Well no, it's generally what I have experienced IRL too around dating... It's just more vocal online

[Independent voter]

What is swishy guys?

Gays like Liberace. Most anime gays too. Feminine? Flamboyant?

[Spectral]

A, A bisexual person will, by definition interact with twice as many potential 'risks' (We are presuming the most generous form of cheating, where it is just unintended attraction leading to an unfortunate decision).

I think this is a mostly incorrect model of cheating wherein it's basically treated as a stochastic occurrence predicted by the amount of potential partners; instead, I think it's mostly a conscious, deliberate decision and that finding a partner to cheat with is utterly trivial. If I'm correct, I would not expect number of potential partners to have a strong effect on likelihood of cheating. Taking it out of the gender realm, I wouldn't expect someone with narrow preferences for only short women to be less likely to cheat than someone that likes both short and tall women.

Anyway, I'd wager that people who self-identify as bisexual are, on average, more promiscuous than heterosexuals. I don't know whether they'd cheat more or not, but I'd be quite surprised if identifying as bi didn't correlate with generally libertine attitudes about sex.

[ls-]

Preferences are *phobic. Welcome to 2017

As for intolerance towards bisexuals even among LGBT community it's quite old and widespread, many homosexuals see bisexuality as some sort of betrayal, like bisexuals date and/or have sex w/ both gay and straight people, thus they know no hardships of being homosexual, etc.

Many of my bisexual friends stay away from any form of LGBT meetings.