Do you believe in divorce, and do you become property of in your marriage?

[Doctor Amadeus]

Why would anyone want to stay in a marriage that isn't working?

Because you should have anticipated that before you got married

Why not have the option for a clean break?

This isn't bowling.

And I'm not entirely sure what you mean by property... That's a really weird way to describe marriage.

Only if you get into shit like marriage with weird ideas like if it doesn't work out Ill make a clean break.

Of course, I also think that marriage should be a purely civil/legal arrangement rather than a religious one, so what do I know?

Eh, I might kind of tend to agree, see personally I think regardless to gender we should have Civil Unions and Pause on recognizing marriage for anybody.

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My parents were fighting incessantly during my childhood. I was so happy when they split up. Sometimes divorce is in the best interest of the kids.

Yeah your parents being immature, cost you, and that is sad, but if they stuck it out for you, shit at least they loved you enough to try.

[Deleted]

Yeah, I know Belief is a taboo word around those not really too much into making a lot of personal choices.

Cum hoc ergo propter hoc?.

[Tziva]

I really don't understand people that stay together "for the kids" or think that getting divorced while having children is selfish. Do you think kids want to live in a home with parents hate each other or fight constantly? I'd argue it's much better for children that people do separate than force them to live in a hostile environment, provided both parents stay involved in their kid's lives. I know tons of people who were extremely relieved when there parents split up because their homelife was toxic.

If the marriage isn't working and can't be salvaged: get a divorce. Not just if you have kids but especially if you have kids. Your kids are better off having two happy homes than one unhappy one.

[Doctor Amadeus]

My parents always hated each other but for various cultural reasons never got divorced. However, due to unrelated reasons they ended up living apart for most of my childhood anyway, which ended up being far preferable to hearing them bicker and complain when they lived together. It's like the old saying goes, preventing divorce is like locking the door when the house is on fire...

Hahah I would go with that except "It's like locking the door when the house is on fire, set by those who lit it before they moved in and ignored it" Maybe if we let a few houses burned down people will give up this Marriage bullshit altogether, or really think it over before saying I do, to someone they don't really know enough about.

[Deleted]

I really don't understand people that stay together "for the kids"

It depends on how much of a social stigma there is attached to it, I guess.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Cum hoc ergo propter hoc?.

Without reason you can't have logic, evidence by your post.

[Tennis]

Divorce should be a last resort. People who get divorced easily are scum. If you're considering divorce you should at least spend a considerable amount of time in marriage counseling.

Also I think MallSecurity should be able to make as many poll threads as possible. There is no problem if he makes several a day.

[Queen of Hamsters]

Lol...

It's a fact, not up for opinion. People divorce all the time, and that's often the better solution than to stick together for some BS reasons placed by society.

[Deleted]

Without reason you can't have logic, evidence by your post.

I'm questioning if you're drawing a faulty conclusion from your limited observation, or just being snarky for the sake of it.
The yes/no answer is bound to be the most frequent /independently/ of it being the preferred choice of a subset of the population (those "not really too much into making a lot of personal choices").

[Doctor Amadeus]

I really don't understand people that stay together "for the kids" or think that getting divorced while having children is selfish.

Because a commitment was made, to honor love and obey, to enter in a union with both eyes open, that means in good times and in bad, unless you really don't follow that in which case why get married. This seem to be a really stupid argument a lot of people had towards gay marriage and it was stupid, because it honestly isn't taken as seriously now by anyone.

And there are gay couples that been together and know this better than straight.

So the question in return is why the fuck would you get married bring kids into the world and not take care of them?

And what kind of parenting was actually involved that rears a child bitter about their parents trying to seek through good times and bad to make them a home?

Do you think kids want to live in a home with parents hate each other or fight constantly?

People don't always agree, that is the truth, and if you are getting divorced to avoid that then it's not different than telling a kid Santa Claus isn't real, setting up in this case terrible expectations about sacrifice.

I'd argue it's much better for children that people do separate than force them to live in a hostile environment, provided both parents stay involved in their kid's lives. I know tons of people who were extremely relieved when there parents split up because their homelife was toxic.

Being hostile is a sign of immaturity especially towards those you claim to love, it stems from people that although grown ups weren't ready for marriage.

If the marriage isn't working and can't be salvaged: get a divorce. Not just if you have kids but especially if you have kids. Your kids are better off having two happy homes than one unhappy one.

Well I agree with this in some part I accept this is the practice, although I think there are great arguments for why this is a problem. Not expecting grown ups to act like adults is an issue.

[hrugner]

We don't treat marriage in a way that makes divorce out of the question. The current brand of marriage is much more focused on sex and cohabitation than had historically been the purpose. If marriage was refocused on being about allying yourself with someone to improve your mutual positions, and to create a secure environment to raise and provide for those who would be parents in the future, then I'd happily see divorce abolished.

Since it's just super dating who the hell cares what happens to it.

and of course nobody becomes anyone's property. That's just silly.

[Doctor Amadeus]

I'm questioning if you're drawing a faulty conclusion from your limited observation, or just being snarky for the sake of it.
The yes/no answer is bound to be the most frequent /independently/ of it being the preferred choice of a subset of the population (those "not really too much into making a lot of personal choices").

Well that is a personal question, it's putting up my beliefs about something regardless to what it cost or is perceived as, and I am backing up with my reasonings which is that marriage is a serious matter and as close to the most important choice an adult makes, and it should be treated as such, since it SORT of is to the point that the law treats it as such.

The problem is people not wanting to face where the fuck things come from when they redefine what something is, it takes away some parts of what it was ever supposed to mean.

I don't fucking want to regulate people's sex lives and personal preferences and shit just for giggles, there is no need for a legal marriage licence that involves society for that shit.

However if two people regardless to sex or numbers decide to create a life have a prudent plan and eventually produce children that will grow and there for profit society, well then Yeah, Marriage should be recognized. That includes adoptions.

[Witchblade77]

I think like marriage - while not for everyone, divorce is still needed. sometimes you make mistakes. sometimes you grow apart to much to keep going as partners. a lot of things happen, getting divorced =/= not taking relationship seriously.

no i have never been divorced nor do I plan to be. but not having this option is a bad thing, too many people stay married when they would have been far better apart.

and absofreakinglutely no, you are not each other's property. not even remotely. you are people who have agreed to share their lives with each other, but you are still your own people.

p.s. my wedding vows had nothing in them about obedience. not everyone gets married within particular sect of christian church yanno

[Celista]

I don't really understand the part of your post about property. In any case, I used to think that I didn't believe in divorce, but people can do some fucked up shit during marriage. Murder, rape, secretly viewing kiddie porn on their computers late at night while you sleep. How well do you know other people, really? I don't think commitments should be taken lightly (or broken), but people shouldn't be made to suffer in an unsatisfying marriage for a lifetime, if they're truly unhappy. Both people are likely better off on their own.

I knew a guy who got a divorce after a year, because he couldn't handle living with another person. Yes that was his stated reason.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Lol...

It's a fact, not up for opinion. People divorce all the time, and that's often the better solution than to stick together for some BS reasons placed by society.

Well it is always up for an opinion see that is what freedom means, and as long as I can quantify it, then it is valid. People do divorce all the time, people also die all the time from stupid shit, and cause traffic accidents because they are morons ill prepared for the responsibilities of navigating traffic. And shit we require more accountability when applying for drivers license than we do a wedding.

All two jack asses have to do is produce two bodies of people old enough to slabber together I do, on que and there you'll have it.

[dextersmith]

NA law prohibits people from being property.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Divorce should be a last resort. People who get divorced easily are scum. If you're considering divorce you should at least spend a considerable amount of time in marriage counseling.

Also I think MallSecurity should be able to make as many poll threads as possible. There is no problem if he makes several a day.

Thanks Tennise, I am going to try to keep making better polls than my previous and improve on them. Appreciate the support.

[Auxora]

I think divorce should be used as a last resort, and should be done a lot less often than it is today. It's too easy really, since if there isn't a big fight over property and kids then going through the legal parts for a divorce is just about easier than buying a car.

But it should still be an option. There are cases where people get married too young and realize it was a huge mistake, or people that are physically and/or mentally abusive, or that end up having major drug/gambling/etc. problems. It's not doing either people or their kids any favors to force them to stay together out of tradition in those cases. I've seen quite a few instances of the above and almost every time the people were happier and the kids were 10x better off to divorce.

It's just that it should be limited to those kinds of particularly bad situations, not people that get a divorce at the first sign of frustration in a marriage.

[Doctor Amadeus]

I don't really understand the part of your post about property. In any case, I used to think that I didn't believe in divorce, but people can do some fucked up shit during marriage. Murder, rape, secretly viewing kiddie porn on their computers late at night while you sleep. How well do you know other people, really? I don't think commitments should be taken lightly (or broken), but people shouldn't be made to suffer in an unsatisfying marriage for a lifetime, if they're truly unhappy. Both people are likely better off on their own.

I knew a guy who got a divorce after a year, because he couldn't handle living with another person. Yes that was his stated reason.

Let me clear I am not talking about some sexual shit, a person honestly getting married to have sex is more than a little stupid, this has zero really to do with that part of it, I mean there is the whole white dress issue and what not as a matter of tradition.

So there are arguments to be made about that, but no this is mostly about just marriage in and of itself, otherwise children not even being produced either adopted or otherwise, could be an issue also.


As for how the law applies I am giving my opinion in this poll and the reasons and asking people for theirs, none needs permission for their opinion. But I DO despite my objections recognize their are GOOD reasons for a divorce as you have pointed out, despite simply fraud or marriage under false pretenses.

I think it is important to have STRONG convictions and beliefs, but at the same time, I think that is why compromise can be so important and valuable.

Because despite my beliefs, I have other feelings that yeah, I get why Divorce happens and why a human ever being property in any sense is a problem.

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This isn't a matter of belief. Divorce exists and is a fact of life. It doesn't matter what you believe in, if you get married you are likely to divorce.

Well it is a matter of belief because our laws are shaped around believe Mr Spock more than you might like.

[Deleted]

I am backing up with my reasonings which is that marriage is a serious matter.

Which is something that you can easily get people on board with. I do think it's a serious commitment, a sacred bow even, and divorce is an undesirable last resort. But there in lies the problem of the word choice: one generally doesn't "believe in divorce" other than to express how it's something that should be allowable, which is why the majority of people would answer "yes", even if they firmly believe that marriage is serious.
And that is putting aside the semantic conflict: you believe things that can be true or false; divorce being none of the two: it's a process that can be allowed or not, moral or not, etc.