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  1. 2017-09-14, 06:34 AM #1
    Solarflash
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    Colorado Hunter Claims He Was Sexually Assaulted by Sasquatch

    http://www.montanaoutdoor.com/2017/0...ted-sasquatch/

    Guy claims big foot attacked him and ripped off his clothes, but he was able to shank him in the shoulder before there was any penetration ( or so he says )
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  2. 2017-09-14, 06:41 AM #2
    Nathreim
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    Weed's legal in Colorado so not surprised.

    I do want to know what he was smoking though sounds like serious stuff.
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  3. 2017-09-14, 06:42 AM #3
    snaek
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    "According to the victim, the attacker measure around 8-foot tall and is extremely hairy. He has brown hair, dark brown eyes and extremely large feet."
    That description makes it sound exactly like a brown bear, lol.

    I'm gonna go with him smoking or eating something he shouldn't have, then happening upon a bear that wasn't too happy to see him.
    Well excuuuse me, Princess.

    You are now breathing manually.
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  4. 2017-09-14, 06:44 AM #4
    Mihalik
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    Quote Originally Posted by snaek View Post
    That description makes it sound exactly like a brown bear, lol.

    I'm gonna go with him smoking or eating something he shouldn't have, then happening upon a bear that wasn't too happy to see him.
    Or a bear who was in fact very happy to see him...if you know what I mean!
    Last edited by Mihalik; 2017-09-14 at 07:17 AM.
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  5. 2017-09-14, 06:52 AM #5
    Stelio Kontos
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    Potheads, man.
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  6. 2017-09-14, 06:53 AM #6
    Mayhem
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    There you have it, first the frogs, now the fucking bears turn gay.
    Quote Originally Posted by ash
    So, look um, I'm not a grief counselor, but if it's any consolation, I have had to kill and bury loved ones before. A bunch of times actually.
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    I never said I was knowledge-able and I wouldn't even care if I was the least knowledge-able person and the biggest dumb-ass out of all 7.8 billion people on the planet.
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  7. 2017-09-14, 07:02 AM #7
    Dalheim
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    Quote Originally Posted by mayhem View Post
    there you have it, first the frogs, now the fucking bears turn gay.
    Gaaaay Squaaatch!!
    Hariuha laþu laukar gakar alu ole lule laukar
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  8. 2017-09-14, 07:04 AM #8
    IIamaKing
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    Coloradoman confirmed Tormond?
    READ and be less Ignorant.
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  9. 2017-09-14, 07:04 AM #9
    Trassk
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    He says he was assaulted, but really I think old sassy just didn't call him back after the first night.

    #boycottchina
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  10. 2017-09-14, 07:19 AM #10
    Celista
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    People have some active imaginations.

    I have stalked but for a minute
    Of your posting history, yet I know those subreddits and that karma:
    Art thou not Romeo and a RedPiller?
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  11. 2017-09-14, 07:51 AM #11
    Mormolyce
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    Did he try consenting? It's 100% effective vs. rape.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tojara View Post
    Look Batman really isn't an accurate source by any means
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    It is a fact, not just something I made up.
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  12. 2017-09-14, 07:55 AM #12
    Fuiking
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    Quote Originally Posted by snaek View Post
    That description makes it sound exactly like a brown bear, lol.

    I'm gonna go with him smoking or eating something he shouldn't have, then happening upon a bear that wasn't too happy to see him.
    Queue the bear rape pills song from Robot Chicken!
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  13. 2017-09-14, 08:09 AM #13
    Independent voter
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    “When I regained consciousness, he had already torn my pants and was tearing through my underwear.


    He reported it to the police so I guess he's serious because you can get in serious trouble for trolling the police. Hope he isn't losing his mind.
    .

    "This will be a fight against overwhelming odds from which survival cannot be expected. We will do what damage we can."

    -- Capt. Copeland
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  14. 2017-09-14, 08:13 AM #14
    Nathreim
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hubcap View Post
    “When I regained consciousness, he had already torn my pants and was tearing through my underwear.


    He reported it to the police so I guess he's serious because you can get in serious trouble for trolling the police. Hope he isn't losing his mind.
    The Police think he was actually attacked just by a person instead of a Big Foot. So somewhere in Colorado is a giant Greek gay rapist.
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  15. 2017-09-14, 09:34 AM #15
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    Listen and believe.
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  16. 2017-09-14, 09:39 AM #16
    ParanoiD84
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    Thought of trailer park boys and sam the caveman
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  17. 2017-09-14, 10:33 AM #17
    draynay
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    I'm going to reserve judgement until we hear Sasquatch's side of the story.
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  18. 2017-09-14, 10:36 AM #18
    Lahis
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    Don't eat all the shrooms in the forest.

    Some are actually poisonous in a deadly way, not in the funny "had sex with a bigfoot" way.
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  19. 2017-09-14, 10:47 AM #19
    PC Principal
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    Living in Fairplay Colorado, I see quite a few Hunters passing by.

    I have got a feeling that the Hunter ran into Scuzzlebutt,.

    Scuzzlebutt has a Patrick Duffy leg
    & I am sure that may have resulted in a Sexual Assault.

    But did the Hunter consent. One has to ask ?
    Last edited by PC Principal; 2017-09-14 at 11:22 AM.
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  20. 2017-09-14, 11:18 AM #20
    Rudkobing
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    This exists.......



    I laughed when I saw this, but we live a rEaLlY wEiRd world.
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