Are you having an emotional affair? Cuz, yeah, it's still cheating

[Deleted]

I have an affair with tennisace - he doesn't know and my partner doesn't know about it. But I'm sure tennis will accept my feelings one day

[Stelio Kontos]

You're still recycling stuff from someone's Lonely Hearts column.

When it was from Times of India you lead with "I came across this highly relevant article." That was 13 Nov 2016

When it was from Arizona State University you lead with "Came across a pretty interesting article." That was 29 Jan 2017

Now, less than a year from the Times of India copypasta, you've rummaged something out of the Hamilton Spectator -- a local paper with a weekly circulation of less than 100,000. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hamilton_Spectator Ace, I can post a lost dog notice in my community and get more than 100,000 readers.

Wow, that was a brutal takedown.

[Tennis]

You're still recycling stuff from someone's Lonely Hearts column.

When it was from Times of India you lead with "I came across this highly relevant article." That was 13 Nov 2016

When it was from Arizona State University you lead with "Came across a pretty interesting article." That was 29 Jan 2017

Now, less than a year from the Times of India copypasta, you've rummaged something out of the Hamilton Spectator -- a local paper with a weekly circulation of less than 100,000. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hamilton_Spectator Ace, I can post a lost dog notice in my community and get more than 100,000 readers.

It's also featured on here, the top newspaper in Canada. Nice try. Almost.

https://www.thestar.com/life/2017/09...al-affair.html

[shadowmouse]

It's also featured on here, the top newspaper in Canada.

Ah, you mean the paper that you *didn't* copypasta from? Might as well go with the fact that both papers are running something from Washington Post ("By Lisa Bonos The Washington Post") then, right?

None of those sources are Tennisace on mmo-c. We're still left with Tennisace dredging up the same crap three times in less than a year. So, nice attempt at deflection, nice passive aggressive, but still a fail. I see you already did the regular poke at the US with your STI article, are we getting the fat thread next or did somebody steal your thunder on that with their fat thread?

[Nurvus]

You can't talk deeply with a close friend? From what I'm reading (at least the first part), that just sounds like how I talk to my bff, and my relationship with her has never infringed on my relationship with my partner.

I don't really understand this. It just sounds like more "straight men and straight women can't be friends" garbage. If that's the case, as a bisexual man, I shouldn't be friends with anyone because I could potentially develop feelings for them, which is stupid.

This pretty much sums up my opinion.

[Hashtronaut]

The issue with "emotional cheating" is its just a physical affair lying under the surface. Something is building up.

Or the jealousy someone feels towards this emotional connection of their significant other having with someone other than themselves., would build into resentment. Regardless its most likely the cause of an underlying issue in the original "monogamous" relationship. Not something that should happen, in my opinion, but nothing you can do without going to the source of the issue.

[Nurvus]

The issue with "emotional cheating" is its just a physical affair lying under the surface. Something is building up.

Or the jealousy someone feels towards this emotional connection of their significant other having with someone other than themselves., would build into resentment. Regardless its most likely the cause of an underlying issue in the original "monogamous" relationship. Not something that should happen, in my opinion, but nothing you can do without going to the source of the issue.

Different people have different ways to deal with different things, usually under different circumstances.
But humans as we are we try to see patterns where there might be none.
And sometimes we mistake symptoms for problems.

[Dougie Cooper]

A close friend of the same gender?

The heck does that matter? I already said I'm bi. I find men and women both attractive. My partner is a man, my bff is a woman - and, incidentally, also my ex-girlfriend. My partner trusts me, and he knows I'd never go behind his back, because - guess what - I won't.

Jealousy is not an inherent part of monogamy. At least, it certainly shouldn't be.

[Indigenously Abled]

If your SO is dumping their emotional nonsense on someone else...

...dump your physical nonsense in someone else.

[Mistame]

That article, like the others you've posted, is unadulterated stupidity. If you're not fucking, you're just friends. There's no such thing as "emotional cheating" as "cheating" is a physical thing. The people that subscribe to this garbage are just the types who are naive and insecure. If having friends, even close ones, of the opposite sex is detrimental to your relationship, your relationship is the problem.

Oh, look another rehash by OP:

He and some of the other repeaters should get together. Then they can sync their cycles.

Basically an article highlighting that people in a relationship can't apparently have friendships with the opposite gender.

It's basically just making excuses for insecurity and jealousy. Rather than deal with it themselves, they push it onto the normal people.

Regardless of what the article says or doesn't say it is EXTREMELY naive to say that if you aren't careful with how you navigate your opposite gendered friendships then you stand no risk of screwing up your relationship.

As I said above, if your platonic friendships are causing problems for your relationship, your relationship is the problem.

[Louisa Bannon]

I dunno, this is sketchy shit.

If you're in a romantic relationship with someone with whom you do not have emotional intimacy then that's probably a problem. If you seek emotional intimacy elsewhere that's probably also a problem. Does it amount to cheating? I dunno. Frankly, who gives a shit?

I think the bigger point is that most people are literally just plain stupid to begin with, they possess little in the way of self-awareness, they aren't emotionally mature in their relationships, many follow scripted behaviors thrust upon them by family, religion, society, and beyond all of that many play social games as described by Transactional Analysis (this is really just more ignorant scripted behavior).

I have a profoundly good relationship with a woman I adore. I respect her intelligence, as a person, sexually, and I greatly admire her beauty. We don't run scripted behaviors at each other, we don't play games, we speak respectfully with no name calling even if we are having a heated discussion, we discuss deep issues with no stones left unturned. We're partners in life looking down the same road.

We are open, honest and affectionate every day. It's truly lovely.

Soon I shall be having a short trip to visit family, do some wine-tasting, and visit with an old girlfriend. I had a serious relationship with the Ex some years back that lasted about 8 years, kinda stormy too. Normally my wife accompanies me and we do all of this together, but not this time. There's trust in all of this, nothing will happen that hasn't been agreed upon. I love my Ex but it didn't work then, and it's not going to work now. But I do occasionally enjoy her company and its not a thing.

My partner knows I shall be pining for her the whole time we are apart, and its a short trip anyway. When I return haste will guide my steps.

[Lazuli]

Just remember, you can't turn a ho into a housewife.

But you can turn a housewife into a ho xD

[Deleted]

Just remember, you can't turn a ho into a housewife.

Dr. Dre, right?

He was spot on when he said that.

[Viconia]

Emotional... cheating (*groan*). Sounds silly and it's an extremely slippery slope what you define as such. I mean, can a woman have any guy friends at all if it's forbidden to talk about anything deep with them? Hell, can she have any friends of any kind? Goes the other way too.

Though it can't be denied emotional cheating (*gurk*) is a portal to widening your sight and seeing potential in other people, realizing your SO may be lacking in certain aspects. Just, that is the case with anyone; you'll always find people who are better in some aspects and worse in other. Who's to say this guy you find yourself infatuated with is better in the long run than the one you're currently shacking up with. You might just go through relationships this way, always finding other people more desirable than the one you're with.

That's why compromising is part of a realistic relationship. Accept the deficiencies of your mate and resist the allure of other people. I'd say it's easier to resist emotional cheating (*blergh*) if you establish transparency with your mate early on. Honesty about what you like and don't like, your history if it comes up, their history if it comes up, everything that makes you you and what makes them them. If you don't find that clear package desirable enough to spend the rest of your life with, then it may be a good idea to move on to the next one.

Or it might actually make resisting harder, now that I think about it. You know everything about them so the allure of mystery is gone, but other people have it in abundance.

Relationships are haaaaard.

[Deleted]

https://www.thespec.com/living-story...till-cheating/

With the advancement of technology it seems like emotional affairs are on the rise.

Have you had an emotional affair or know someone who has?

You definitely have to be careful these days.

Do these people have nothing else to do with their lives?

[Raqubor]

I call absolute bullshit on this post.
I think everyone is free to talk about anything with anyone.

If you don't talk about your future plans with your current boyfriend... who's fault is that?
Did you try? Why is it not working?

[Kathandira]

https://www.thespec.com/living-story...till-cheating/

With the advancement of technology it seems like emotional affairs are on the rise.

Have you had an emotional affair or know someone who has?

You definitely have to be careful these days.

I've been having an emotional affair with my family and friends for 10 years, I even do it with random strangers that I meet if they seem willing to listen. I am ashamed for sharing my thoughts and feelings with anyone. If she finds out that I speak to people and discuss how I feel inside, she might leave me. Help me! How do I learn to bottle everything up and keep all of my emotions and feelings inside?

[Devilyaki]

I have one every time I switch to my alt characters ...

[Deleted]

My partner trusts me, and he knows I'd never go behind his back,

Giggidy Giggidy

- - - Updated - - -

Dr. Dre, right?

He was spot on when he said that.

Well he is a medical professional.

- - - Updated - - -

Help me! How do I learn to bottle everything up and keep all of my emotions and feelings inside?

Just grunt and growl everytime. Words might be taken out of context. Also don't forget to beat her when she fails to read your mind about something.

[Deleted]

I've been having an emotional affair with my family and friends for 10 years, I even do it with random strangers that I meet if they seem willing to listen. I am ashamed for sharing my thoughts and feelings with anyone. If she finds out that I speak to people and discuss how I feel inside, she might leave me. Help me! How do I learn to bottle everything up and keep all of my emotions and feelings inside?

I'm with you - I have just realized i have been cheating on every one of my girlfriends with my best friend from high-school.
Currently thinking about how to tell her we have been together for 12 years, got any tips?