Long distance relationships

[Tennis]

Long term online relationships is a head scratcher.

[Rudkobing]

If you girlfriend is from another planet that is such a hassle. I'm telling ya.

[Ellarielle]

Long term online relationships is a head scratcher.

Ours didn't intentionally start out that way. Just played games online together and eventually figured out we weren't interested in dating other people because we were more interested in each other. I agree it's kind of weird, which is why I eventually moved to be in the same city/state.

[Tennis]

Ours didn't intentionally start out that way. Just played games online together and eventually figured out we weren't interested in dating other people because we were more interested in each other. I agree it's kind of weird, which is why I eventually moved to be in the same city/state.

I can see it in some cases but I know people in these long term online ones which are clearly going nowhere. Then eventually it ends and it's like...was it even worth it.

[Ellarielle]

I can see it in some cases but I know people in these long term online ones which are clearly going nowhere. Then eventually it ends and it's like...was it even worth it.

We were kind of at that point Either something needed change (i.e. location) or we were going to call it quits. I figured I'd probably kick myself the rest of my life if I didn't at least try to see if it worked. I was young anyways so I didn't have much to lose by moving.

[PhantasmagoriaX]

Met my boyfriend on WoW, known him for a few years before we really started talking. He was in WA and I was in Texas, Now we live together and everything is good.

[unbound]

When I was dating my wife, spent 9 months over 2,000 miles away.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Nope have to be with me or we aren’t together simple as that.

- - - Updated - - -

Long term online relationships is a head scratcher.

I don’t believe in online relationships. If it’s not in person it’s not real.

[willtron]

I was in a transatlantic one for over two years. Ultimately we both decided to put our careers first.

[Stelio Kontos]

Across the Pacific. We met at university, she went back to Thailand. Worst mistake of my life. Worst relationship of my life too in retrospect. She refused to do any traveling once she was back, even if I'd foot the bill. All in all it was terrible. Completely put me off dating girls from Asian backgrounds.

[Auxora]

I know quite a few more long-distance relationships including mine that didn't work out than did. It doesn't mean they are all doomed to failure. But I'd say odds are against it in most cases. There are 2 big problems I've seen with long-distance relationships.

The big one is that it's a lot easier to get along with someone over the phone/Skype/etc. It's easier to be in a good mood for those conversations, and you don't really see the little pet peeves that doom many relationships. And then the long-distance people get together in-person, and those little pet peeves really throw a wrench in things. So the long-distance relationships I've seen seem to go that way, where people are apart and then eventually they move to the same college or town to be together and all those annoyances come in and they break up almost inevitably.

The second problem with long-distance relationships is the obvious one, that if either of the people in the relationship have questionable morals it's easy for cheating or falling in love with someone local to happen. It may not even be someone with questionable morals or that intentional, maybe the person is at a party and has a few drinks, one thing leads to another, being solo drives physical urges up, and cheating happens. I've seen this happen too. The cheater may even completely regret it the next day, but the guilt and suspicion from then on is enough to doom things.

So because of the 2nd reason, I'd say 2, maybe 3, hours apart by car is about as long-distance at most as you'd want. Even then know that the odds are way against it working. At least within 2-3 hours there's a realistic possibility of the other person making a surprise road trip visit at any time, which can be enough to deter the 2nd reason above from happening.

BTW I've been in every combination of these. In my younger days I regretfully cheated on someone while I was in a LD relationship, I had someone in a town a few hours away that I was in a LD relationship in cheat on me, and another time I was sleeping with a woman when her LD boyfriend (which I had no idea about) walked into her apartment on a surprise visit. That was awkward.

[Shinrael]

I was in Bulgaria she was in Japan. 15 months. But the distance got the better of us. As someone already said, poisons seeps into everything and its hard. And it was hard. And there was some shit. Now since I am in Japan for a year anyway, we are enjoying spending some time together (she is actually coming 330 km from her city to the city I live in to see me tomorrow) but I am reluctant to plan my future around her.

But it isn't impossible! I still believe. I managed to wait 15 months. It was really hard and scary and lonely but at the same time believing that this person is out there, waiting for me, for a future together, gave me lots of hope and this allowed me to blaze through all exams and interviews which led me to where I am right now Japan. A dream come true. For the right person, I can wait even longer.

[Deleted]

I can see it in some cases but I know people in these long term online ones which are clearly going nowhere. Then eventually it ends and it's like...was it even worth it.

So what you're saying is that it's better to never have loved at all, than to have loved over a long distance.

[beasttime]

Currently i do have a girlfriend and we've been together like almost 11 months but I courted her for like 3 months. Well my problem now is on December or January, Im gonna migrate on America till i receive my green card. So i dont know if we? or I can wait until i get back to my country again. I mean if she is gonna take a break with me.. any advice?

[Ealyssa]

If you can't see the other one everyday that's too far away. Not saying you have to, but you technically could (like driving 3-5 hours).

Tried it, didn't work.

[General Junos]

~950 miles, I guess? That's the distance from where I used to live, to where I live now. (Met husband in WoW back in Vanilla. Moved out to live with him as soon as I graduated college.) But, who knows. I can't say for sure, but I'd prob be okay with anywhere in the US, whether it be 10 minutes, or 4000 miles.

[Thoughtcrime]

I've friends who made them work one of which is married to her fella now but it's not for me. Whenever I've dated anyone who lived more than an hour away it just became a ball ache to see each other outside of weekends and rarely developed into anything serious.

My current girlfriend lives about 30 minutes away and that's fine with me.

[Cosmic Janitor]

I need semi-regular physical contact, so distance is less of an issue and I'm more concerned with the duration.

[Wyrt]

Tried it with a girl in New York. Didn't work out well, wouldn't try it again.

[Deleted]

Depends on how good "catch" is in question. I could suffer long distance for a while, assuming there's a realistic hope of getting to live together soon.