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  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Ultima22689 View Post
    Indeed, I didn't think much about the context when i asked this question. That's my issue, I'm too busy being a scholarly hermit these days, I'm not trying to "score" or "give her the D" as a lot of folks are humorously implying to do, I can just hit a bar and just start a conversation with someone if that's what I was looking for. I was more so looking for the best way to deal with this without compromising me opportunity for this program by letting her down too hard or making things rather complicated by going further down the rabbit hole, because I've never been in this situation before and I'm direly hoping it's all in my head so I don't have to deal with this, but what if it IS a real concern? I don't want to be blindsided and I screw myself.
    If it is a real thing, and she makes a real move, react to it then. If it isn't really happening and you make a move, you risk losing a lot of future help cause that is a fast way to getting dropped as a friend in this situation. If you are actually a friendly person and talk to professors, a lot will be friendly back because so many people don't give a single shit other than getting the letter grade and moving on. I maintained friendships with 3 of my professors during my undergrad time and they made it very clear that students rarely, if ever, see them as more than an outlet for a letter grade. So you are likely getting the attention because you see the professor as more than just an object to give you a grade.

    Best advise, let her make the first move if she is really interested. She has the most power in the situation so it is really up to her to initiate this if it is real just imo. Otherwise just be an adult and be friends.

    As Celista said, I also don't think she is really into you, just you are a friend so you stand out in the crowd of faces that don't give a shit about being her friend.

  2. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Celista View Post
    Good. She might very well appreciate the fact that you're a good student, or likes you as a person. She'd get fired for sleeping with a student, so not a good idea to go there, on the 0.000001% chance that you are correct.

    Also she'd be throwing out far more obvious signals if she was interested in a romantic relationship (asking for your phone number, texting/sexting you, rubbing your thigh, etc). A woman in that sort of position is not going to be subtle.
    A professor getting fired for having sex with a student? That happens all the time.

    The only reason that everyone doubts the OP is because he is a he. If it was an attractive female student posting about this, then most of the replies would probably confirm that the male professor probably is hitting on the student in this situation.
    Most people would rather die than think, and most people do. -Bertrand Russell
    Before the camps, I regarded the existence of nationality as something that shouldn’t be noticed - nationality did not really exist, only humanity. But in the camps one learns: if you belong to a successful nation you are protected and you survive. If you are part of universal humanity - too bad for you -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

  3. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Fat Mac View Post

    if you want to find out for sure, drop a wad of hundreds and a magnum condom for your monster dong on the ground. get ready to plow
    Its the only way to know for sure.
    READ and be less Ignorant.

  4. #24


    It's possible she's trying to seduce you.
    Last edited by Rudkobing; 2017-11-08 at 07:31 PM.

  5. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by Venant View Post
    A professor getting fired for having sex with a student? That happens all the time.

    The only reason that everyone doubts the OP is because he is a he. If it was an attractive female student posting about this, then most of the replies would probably confirm that the male professor probably is hitting on the student in this situation.
    I'm not doubting the OP for that reason. I'm doubting the OP because his "evidence" for "seduction" is nonexistent. I would say the same no matter the gender.

    I did leave open the possibility that his professor is attracted to him, but not because of anything he said about her behavior. I said it because he said that he can tell when a person is attracted to him. I think some people think people are attracted to them when they're not, and confuse normal friendly behavior with attraction, and while I think the OP sounds like that person there is a possibility he is correct, because there's something intangible about knowing when someone is attracted to you--sometimes it's less about their overt behavior than it is just simply having a sense of knowing. Perhaps it's eye contact that lasted a little too long once, or body language, that your subconscious picks up on.

    In any case, the OP didn't say anything about that and based on what he said, there's no evidence that his professor is interested in pursuing something. And if she really is interested, then she'll make it SUPER obvious at some point. Not little hints.

  6. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Ultima22689 View Post
    I'm 28 years old, and a distinctive pretty damn good looking male.
    ... and quite the ego
    MY X/Y POKEMON FRIEND CODE: 1418-7279-9541 In Game Name: Michael__

  7. #27
    Dreadlord Dys's Avatar
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    She's thirsty brah. Tread carefully.

  8. #28
    Scarab Lord downnola's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Celista View Post
    I'm not doubting the OP for that reason. I'm doubting the OP because his "evidence" for "seduction" is nonexistent. I would say the same no matter the gender.

    I did leave open the possibility that his professor is attracted to him, but not because of anything he said about her behavior. I said it because he said that he can tell when a person is attracted to him. I think some people think people are attracted to them when they're not, and confuse normal friendly behavior with attraction, and while I think the OP sounds like that person there is a possibility he is correct, because there's something intangible about knowing when someone is attracted to you--sometimes it's less about their overt behavior than it is just simply having a sense of knowing. Perhaps it's eye contact that lasted a little too long once, or body language, that your subconscious picks up on.

    In any case, the OP didn't say anything about that and based on what he said, there's no evidence that his professor is interested in pursuing something. And if she really is interested, then she'll make it SUPER obvious at some point. Not little hints.
    The interesting thing about this is that good public speakers scan the room and look at you directly, because they are speaking to you directly. You're speaking to everyone at the same time, but the people you're making eye contact with at different points of the talk are your point of reference. I notice eye contact with my professors often during class for that reason. I do the same thing when I'm presenting during a meeting, because it's easier to focus on those that are actually looking at and listening to you. Talking at people who are focusing on their phones or laptops just distract you from what you're trying to say, so it's better to engage with those that are actually listening.

    In other words: OP is noticing eye contact with the teacher because he's likely fixated on her the entire class.
    Populists (and "national socialists") look at the supposedly secret deals that run the world "behind the scenes". Child's play. Except that childishness is sinister in adults.
    - Christopher Hitchens

  9. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by downnola View Post
    The interesting thing about this is that good public speakers scan the room and look at you directly, because they are speaking to you directly. You're speaking to everyone at the same time, but the people you're making eye contact with at different points of the talk are your point of reference. I notice eye contact with my professors often during class for that reason. I do the same thing when I'm presenting during a meeting, because it's easier to focus on those that are actually looking at and listening to you. Talking at people who are focusing on their phones or laptops just distract you from what you're trying to say, so it's better to engage with those that are actually listening.

    In other words: OP is noticing eye contact with the teacher because he's likely fixated on her the entire class.
    I do too and I agree that is the most likely explanation.

  10. #30
    Pix

    /10char

    Edit: Of her, not OP

    Quote Originally Posted by Fonduset View Post
    Just give her the D and move on.
    Maybe OP likes taking the D instead, /whoknows
    Last edited by dvaz; 2017-11-08 at 08:53 PM.

  11. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by Celista View Post
    I'm not doubting the OP for that reason. I'm doubting the OP because his "evidence" for "seduction" is nonexistent. I would say the same no matter the gender.

    I did leave open the possibility that his professor is attracted to him, but not because of anything he said about her behavior. I said it because he said that he can tell when a person is attracted to him. I think some people think people are attracted to them when they're not, and confuse normal friendly behavior with attraction, and while I think the OP sounds like that person there is a possibility he is correct, because there's something intangible about knowing when someone is attracted to you--sometimes it's less about their overt behavior than it is just simply having a sense of knowing. Perhaps it's eye contact that lasted a little too long once, or body language, that your subconscious picks up on.

    In any case, the OP didn't say anything about that and based on what he said, there's no evidence that his professor is interested in pursuing something. And if she really is interested, then she'll make it SUPER obvious at some point. Not little hints.
    That has happened, lingering eye contact, a smile, etc.

    I can assure you, i'm not naive enough to think everyone is interested in me because they're interacting with me. That was me at 21, I can tell the difference. I didn't think I'd have to convince everyone with a detailed analysis so I wasn't trying to get that far into detail, perhaps I should have. The point of this thread was in hopes of people having a similar experience and how to deal with it. It's not the same as talking to my peers, I understand the social dynamics of courtship and all that jazz. I'm not looking for info on what to do if she's interested, I want to know what to do if it turns out she actually is and what's the best course of action without jeporadizing my opportunity to earn prestige via the program I mentioned earlier.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Symphonic View Post
    ... and quite the ego
    When you're good-looking, you know it. XD

  12. #32
    She hot? If she is bang her brains out.

  13. #33
    Quote Originally Posted by Algy View Post
    If it is a real thing, and she makes a real move, react to it then. If it isn't really happening and you make a move, you risk losing a lot of future help cause that is a fast way to getting dropped as a friend in this situation. If you are actually a friendly person and talk to professors, a lot will be friendly back because so many people don't give a single shit other than getting the letter grade and moving on. I maintained friendships with 3 of my professors during my undergrad time and they made it very clear that students rarely, if ever, see them as more than an outlet for a letter grade. So you are likely getting the attention because you see the professor as more than just an object to give you a grade.

    Best advise, let her make the first move if she is really interested. She has the most power in the situation so it is really up to her to initiate this if it is real just imo. Otherwise just be an adult and be friends.

    As Celista said, I also don't think she is really into you, just you are a friend so you stand out in the crowd of faces that don't give a shit about being her friend.
    I certainly hope you're right.

  14. #34
    Are Teachers and Professors not allowed to be proud of and encourage their student(s) ?

    Maybe you're the "Teacher's Pet" of your class.

  15. #35
    Quote Originally Posted by Ultima22689 View Post
    Alright, this is a little weird but I can't quite shake it off. So some basic facts, I'm 28 years old, and a distinctive pretty damn good looking male. Many would say I'm a pretty smart guy. Smart enough that my professor nominated me for a rather prestigious scholar program. Now the weird thing is, right before she had made the nomination, she trapped me in a conversation in her office for like 40 minutes, can't say I didn't enjoy it neither. Other students were sitting outside her door waiting for ages. Last session, she had me wait till everyone left class to ask her basic questions, then we began walking together and having small talk. When we're in class, I notice that she makes eye contact with me a lot. When she does, she puts her hands on her hips, flexes her legs, makes a lot of passes where I'm sitting and I think I'm actually getting the vapors for her myself now. Any y'all ever had a professor throwing out signals? I'm hoping this is all in my head, yeah?
    is she attractive? shit man, get it lol.

  16. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by Ultima22689 View Post
    Alright, this is a little weird but I can't quite shake it off. So some basic facts, I'm 28 years old, and a distinctive pretty damn good looking male. Many would say I'm a pretty smart guy. Smart enough that my professor nominated me for a rather prestigious scholar program. Now the weird thing is, right before she had made the nomination, she trapped me in a conversation in her office for like 40 minutes, can't say I didn't enjoy it neither. Other students were sitting outside her door waiting for ages. Last session, she had me wait till everyone left class to ask her basic questions, then we began walking together and having small talk. When we're in class, I notice that she makes eye contact with me a lot. When she does, she puts her hands on her hips, flexes her legs, makes a lot of passes where I'm sitting and I think I'm actually getting the vapors for her myself now. Any y'all ever had a professor throwing out signals? I'm hoping this is all in my head, yeah?
    If many would say you're a smart guy, and you A) cannot tell if someone is trying to seduce you and B) come here of all placed for help, I can assure you that 'many' are about as wrong as you can be.

    But yes, you being 'distinctivly good looking' and a 'pretty smart guy', that's all in your head, as is this whole scenario.

    Also, you're 28 and not done with college, and you claim to be 'pretty smart'? What did you do until now, drag your feet? What in the blazes are you studying, and where?

  17. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by BeerWolf View Post
    Are Teachers and Professors not allowed to be proud of and encourage their student(s) ?

    Maybe you're the "Teacher's Pet" of your class.
    That's definitely true, I am most certainly the "Teacher's Pet". I'd like that to be the end of it. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to deal with the situation if it doesn't end there.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Skulltaker View Post
    If many would say you're a smart guy, and you A) cannot tell if someone is trying to seduce you and B) come here of all placed for help, I can assure you that 'many' are about as wrong as you can be. A smart guy would also know the difference inbetween a till and 'til.

    But yes, you being 'distinctivly good looking' and a 'pretty smart guy', that's all in your head, as is this whole scenario.

    Also, you're 28 and not done with college, and you claim to be 'pretty smart'? What did you do until now, drag your feet? What in the blazes are you studying, and where?
    Yep, I'm 28 and I am intelligent person. I'm going for comp sci, yet already work in my field. I'm still in school because when I was younger I didn't find it worth the debt. I've done pretty well for myself so far without a degree, but after gaining some wisdom I've decided it would be in my best interest to finish school. Where I'm studying, I'm not going to disclose that. The reason it's ambiguous at the moment is because she's at the very least a decade older than me, and she's a professor. It's not the same as dealing with a classmate or someone you meet in a social setting where there is not prior relationship such as student and teacher.
    Last edited by Feltima; 2017-11-09 at 12:29 AM.

  18. #38
    Quote Originally Posted by Ultima22689 View Post
    I'd like that to be the end of it. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to deal with the situation if it doesn't end there.
    Just accept it. Why try to complicate it ?

  19. #39
    Quote Originally Posted by Ultima22689 View Post
    Smart enough that my professor nominated me for a rather prestigious scholar program. Now the weird thing is, right before she had made the nomination, she trapped me in a conversation in her office for like 40 minutes, can't say I didn't enjoy it neither. Other students were sitting outside her door waiting for ages. Last session, she had me wait till everyone left class to ask her basic questions, then we began walking together and having small talk. When we're in class, I notice that she makes eye contact with me a lot. When she does, she puts her hands on her hips, flexes her legs, makes a lot of passes where I'm sitting
    I'm pretty sure I saw almost this exact same plot in a porno once.
    Quote Originally Posted by Surreality View Post
    I've stopped talking to random women for any kind of reason. If I see one walking into a store before me, I freeze. I won't move until she's fully inside and on her way. I damn sure won't be having sex with any of them anymore. Thank goodness for porn and masturbation.
    Quote Originally Posted by Spicymemer View Post
    Nothing wrong with racism.

  20. #40
    Quote Originally Posted by Ultima22689 View Post
    Yep, I'm 28 and I am intelligent person. I'm going for comp sci, yet already work in my field. I'm still in school because when I was younger I didn't find it worth the debt. I've done pretty well for myself so far without a degree, but after gaining some wisdom I've decided it would be in my best interest to finish school. Where I'm studying, I'm not going to disclose that.
    Then act like it. If you're not interested, tell her. If you are, have at it. Older women are an experience I'd reccomend any guy in his 20es to make. It's well worth it most of the time. When it comes to relations, don't overthink things. That doesn't mean that you should rush in head (or dick) first into any opportunity, but student/professor relations are rather common, and unless you give your coeds reason to complain, these rarely lead to any problems. Make sure you get your degree befor you break it up, though.

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