Told my best friend I was in love with her..what now?

[Lazuli]

Ah yes the good ol' friendzone.

1) get a male bestie
2) profit

You will be safe unless one of you is homo. Why would you best friend opposite sex if you straight, 99% of the time is unrequited love for either party. Find a girl who is actually interested in you and you can be besties while banging xD

You really fucked it up man just move on through the pain.

[frogger237]

I wouldn't put it with those words...but you hit the nail on the head, at least i can't imagine how a straight man can truly be friends with a girl.
Also...it doesn't take ages to think that kind of thing through if she was even into you she would have let you know right there.

If the girl isn't attractive its pretty easy to be friends with her. And even if she is you can choose to not be a manslut and/or focus on shit you don't find attractive of her like if the hair on her arms is darker so its more noticeable or shes got a shitty laugh, etc..

OT- just give her a couple weeks and then see if she still wants to be friends or if she wants anything more, and if not move on. Altho you may not want to be friends with her if you still have feelings.

[Steve French]

So here's the situation: I've known this girl for years. We became really close after a tough period for both of us, but have always kept things platonic. I was happy with the friendship and did not want anything more, and as far as I knew, she felt the same. In recent months however, I started to feel that something more. Fast forward a little, I finally admitted to myself that I had fallen in love with her, and struggled with the question of whether I should tell her or not.

I was almost 100% certain she only saw me as her best friend, and part of my intention of telling her was to find out for sure, so that I would stop wondering and move on. I also thought that she would not appreciate me feeling all this and not saying anything. Most of all, I wanted to protect the friendship, and despite worrying at first that telling her would break it outright, figured that our years of friendship would not be so easily broken.

So I went ahead and did it a couple of days ago. Told her how I felt, and that if she didn't feel similarly that it was fine; I would just need alittle time to heal and that I still wanted to be her best friend. Unfortunately, it seems to have gone worse than I would have thought. She hasn't really talked to me since then, and said that she wasn't sure if she could still see me the same way. I am wrecked, to say the least. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I might lose someone really precious to me.

Just seeking some advice and maybe a kind word or two, especially from other girls who have had this happen to them. I'm not pushing her to respond in any way, but since she won't say anything about this I have no idea what she's thinking or feeling about this.

You did the right thing and told her how you felt, but you knew the risk and this time it didn't work out. There will be many more, don't let this change anything. Time to move on in a positive way, don't hold on to any negative feelings for unrequited love, and find a new friend. Not much more to say, hope things get better, shitty time of year to lose a friend.

[Rexosaurus]

I feel like people on this forum are vastly underestimating how many people have best friends of the opposite sex. While I wouldn't call it common, it's certainly not nearly as rare as most people here seem to be claiming. I can think of 3 of my friends right now who are in that situation. And I'm pretty sure that all but one of them are also in relationships (unless it's changed recently).

[Ehrenpanzer]

So here's the situation: I've known this girl for years. We became really close after a tough period for both of us, but have always kept things platonic. I was happy with the friendship and did not want anything more, and as far as I knew, she felt the same. In recent months however, I started to feel that something more. Fast forward a little, I finally admitted to myself that I had fallen in love with her, and struggled with the question of whether I should tell her or not.

I was almost 100% certain she only saw me as her best friend, and part of my intention of telling her was to find out for sure, so that I would stop wondering and move on. I also thought that she would not appreciate me feeling all this and not saying anything. Most of all, I wanted to protect the friendship, and despite worrying at first that telling her would break it outright, figured that our years of friendship would not be so easily broken.

So I went ahead and did it a couple of days ago. Told her how I felt, and that if she didn't feel similarly that it was fine; I would just need alittle time to heal and that I still wanted to be her best friend. Unfortunately, it seems to have gone worse than I would have thought. She hasn't really talked to me since then, and said that she wasn't sure if she could still see me the same way. I am wrecked, to say the least. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I might lose someone really precious to me.

Just seeking some advice and maybe a kind word or two, especially from other girls who have had this happen to them. I'm not pushing her to respond in any way, but since she won't say anything about this I have no idea what she's thinking or feeling about this.

Welcome to being Friend-zoned. Enjoy the next "X" number of years listening to her whining about not being able to find a nice guy and how all the men she dates are jerks....

Stop wasting your life on this and find someone better who appreciates you....

Sincerely,

~Been there, Done that, Have the T-Shirt.

[khazmodan]

So here's the situation: I've known this girl for years. We became really close after a tough period for both of us, but have always kept things platonic. I was happy with the friendship and did not want anything more, and as far as I knew, she felt the same. In recent months however, I started to feel that something more. Fast forward a little, I finally admitted to myself that I had fallen in love with her, and struggled with the question of whether I should tell her or not.

I was almost 100% certain she only saw me as her best friend, and part of my intention of telling her was to find out for sure, so that I would stop wondering and move on. I also thought that she would not appreciate me feeling all this and not saying anything. Most of all, I wanted to protect the friendship, and despite worrying at first that telling her would break it outright, figured that our years of friendship would not be so easily broken.

So I went ahead and did it a couple of days ago. Told her how I felt, and that if she didn't feel similarly that it was fine; I would just need alittle time to heal and that I still wanted to be her best friend. Unfortunately, it seems to have gone worse than I would have thought. She hasn't really talked to me since then, and said that she wasn't sure if she could still see me the same way. I am wrecked, to say the least. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I might lose someone really precious to me.

Just seeking some advice and maybe a kind word or two, especially from other girls who have had this happen to them. I'm not pushing her to respond in any way, but since she won't say anything about this I have no idea what she's thinking or feeling about this.

If you want a friend, get a dog or hang out with bro's, women are not meant to be friends, they are either life partners, coworkers or a waste of time. First stage love like you are experiencing is just another fantasy in your head that doesn't deal with the reality that women look for. i.e. can you support a family? can you give her genetics a better chance of continuing than other guys? can you pray for her every day in a way that makes you care about her even when she is fat and ugly with no makeup?. Your conversation with her has probably been generic and because of that you have become commoditized. This means that you seem the same as every other guy on the market therefore she will want the best deal for what she has to offer. Make yourself a unique product that she cant get somewhere else and make yourself essential to her needs, or just get a dog....

[Thagrynor]

If you are a friend with a girl for years, you have to realize they want nothing to do with you physically and only keep you around so they think they are being nice.

Or they were dating someone else for a long time or had other reasons that they weren't dating anyone since you became friends. The salient point here that I was getting at though is that HE didn't consider her a "love interest" for the years they were friends prior to these feelings creeping up on him. That is the point I was getting at as to why that other poster was stupid for claiming he was "only trying to get in the pants of every girl he met".

The point is, without knowing these people, there is no way anyone can accurately state what the situation was between them. We have half the story. While I am not implying that the OP is lying, there is her side of this that we don't know, namely how she is feeling or what she thinks. Everything else is speculation, but to state things about the OP that openly contradict what he stated in the original post (which admittedly could be complete BS) is stupid and ridiculous.

[THE Bigzoman]

Move on, honestly.

Even if she were to come back around, why subject yourself to that? Your feelings for her will be the big ass emotional elephant in the room.

Unless she's a bridge into healthy networks, you should move forward regardless of how she feels.

[Mirishka]

You should have known she wasn't into you when she friendzoned you in the first place. Go find some guy friends. Who the hell wants to hang out with a girl and have to listen to her bitching unless you are banging her.

You sound like a real catch yourself.

- - - Updated - - -

If you want a friend, get a dog or hang out with bro's, women are not meant to be friends, they are either life partners, coworkers or a waste of time.

I literally cannot imagine walking through life with this degree of stupidity floating around inside my head.

[Antius]

Never tell a woman you love them first. Ever.



Ever.

[Tennis]

I feel like people on this forum are vastly underestimating how many people have best friends of the opposite sex. While I wouldn't call it common, it's certainly not nearly as rare as most people here seem to be claiming. I can think of 3 of my friends right now who are in that situation. And I'm pretty sure that all but one of them are also in relationships (unless it's changed recently).

It's super rare. I know a lot of people and it's one thing to have some work acquaintances but that's about it.

[khazmodan]

You sound like a real catch yourself.

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I literally cannot imagine walking through life with this degree of stupidity floating around inside my head.

Im sure you cannot imagine anything and this is why you have a tunnel view of the world probably reinforced by the idiots you surround yourself with. Soon you will hit the wall and wonder what happened to all those guys willing to say what you want to hear...then you will start to grow up.

[Goobaman]

So here's the situation: I've known this girl for years. We became really close after a tough period for both of us, but have always kept things platonic. I was happy with the friendship and did not want anything more, and as far as I knew, she felt the same. In recent months however, I started to feel that something more. Fast forward a little, I finally admitted to myself that I had fallen in love with her, and struggled with the question of whether I should tell her or not.

I was almost 100% certain she only saw me as her best friend, and part of my intention of telling her was to find out for sure, so that I would stop wondering and move on. I also thought that she would not appreciate me feeling all this and not saying anything. Most of all, I wanted to protect the friendship, and despite worrying at first that telling her would break it outright, figured that our years of friendship would not be so easily broken.

So I went ahead and did it a couple of days ago. Told her how I felt, and that if she didn't feel similarly that it was fine; I would just need alittle time to heal and that I still wanted to be her best friend. Unfortunately, it seems to have gone worse than I would have thought. She hasn't really talked to me since then, and said that she wasn't sure if she could still see me the same way. I am wrecked, to say the least. I thought I was doing the right thing, but now I might lose someone really precious to me.

Just seeking some advice and maybe a kind word or two, especially from other girls who have had this happen to them. I'm not pushing her to respond in any way, but since she won't say anything about this I have no idea what she's thinking or feeling about this.

In fairness, this happens all the time and cuts both ways. For now, you wait. You did a brave thing because it is not easy to expose yourself like that, a hell of a lot more uncomfortable than physically exposing oneself if you ask me (or some comedians..sorry..)

If i were looking to tell you what to do, i would say that judging from your verbiage, you are unlikely to withstand a platonic friendship with this girl. I think it is important for you to understand that it's definitely possible to not fall for every platonic friend you have but once you do, i am unsure it is feasible to roll back the friendship to before that happened and once it does, the friendship IS forever changed, -especially- if it reaches "best friendship", and honestly, it's my opinion that if it got that far, one of you fell for the other and hasn't realized it.

There is nothing to be done about that. You fall for a friend and now either you will HAVE to stop listening (for example) as they go on about dates or interests, or you become embittered with them over time and decide it's their fault for not respecting you, or something like. The friendship becomes compromised and subject to influence by things that didn't matter before. I don't give a shit what Zac does with the girl he goes out with because he's not an interest of mine, and you would be lying if you tried to say if Zac were instead this girl, that you wouldn't feel -some- kind of way, the kind of way you don't feel about a friend who is interested in another.

This is wrong, YOU are responsible for how you feel and if you are unable to regulate how you feel around another person then it's not for them to change, but for you. Whether you change something about your outlook on life or simply change the environment.

[Gandrake]

Lol it's whatever then dude just let it go

if you're as close as you say she will bounce back

[Dald]

Let her know that you eat ass.

[Danbala]

Sorry about your experience. That's the sad thing with love, you're free to love anyone you want.. and so are they.

I had something similiar happen. I think it's quite honestly a right of passage and a part of growing up, that people learn they aren't entitled to everyone's affection. I proclaimed to the guy that I liked him (huge understatement but you get the point) and he politely declined, citing a list of valid reasons (any reason is a vaild reason btw). I smiled and told him thanks for being honest.. then promptly disappeared off the face of the earth in embarrassment. He messaged me about a week after, asking where I was and what I was doing. Then we started hanging out again and were great friends for years. It eventually fizzled out as we both found partners.

I wish you all the best of luck. Just give her some time and space. She might be confused and not know how to react or respond. If she doens't respond ever, well, you know where that stands and good riddence.

[Dangg]

don't bother OP
she aleady put you into the best friend = asexual cuck category because you didn't try to fuck her the first time you've met

you need to be sexually aggressive from the start or you're just a dancing monkey handbag and she'll laugh at you behind your back with her girlfriends about how pathetic you are