Why we get badges from raids

[Deleted]

There has been some dispute lately as to why exactly we are awarded badges through raiding. I believe it is time to retell the forgotten story of how badges first came to be.

Ten Thousand years ago, a mighty bear descended upon Azeroth. This was no ordinary bear, for it was known as Thy Awesomebear, and it was awesome. And the elves, tauren, trolls, penguins and gold farmers saw that it was awesome.

One faithful night, Thy Awesomebear was having a kegger with a shark. Yes. A shark. He was just THAT awesome. And in their keggerness (which was awesome), they decided to try drugs. Not just any drug, however, none other than MORONGRAIN, the fabulous herb later farmed by Fandouche Bonghelm, king of the dorkheads. And as they ignited this (un)holy weed, the famed Raptor Jesus Rockstar appeared before their eyes. And they saw that it was Raptor, and they exclaimed in unison: "Holy cow! This is goooooooood shit!"

R. Jesus, unabated by their unsecure drug abuse, smiled upon them in His raptorness and said: "Yo dawg, I herd yo like killin' demons'n'shit and pogs, so we put some epic pogs in yo demons so yo can pog while yo pug." And he threw a tossin' bunch of pogs at them and they reveled in His raptorous pogness. And then they set them on fire, tempering them in the Flames of MMOChamp.

The pogs were lost. Set into the world by Raptor Jesus, tempered in the Flames of MMOChamp by Thy Awesomebear and an unnamed (but flying) shark, they were stolen by a bunch of bi-curious gnomes in pink dresses during a beach party held in flippin' Burning Steppes. The gnomes took off with the pogs, forming the Fellowship of the Pog in the process and proceeded to travel to the mighty Blackrock *dodges anti-racists* Spire to destroy them within Mount Spoom.

But this was not to happen. Nelthafariuson the WE CAN'T SPELL HIS NAME dragon attacked the gnomes, sold them to Burger King, and claimed the pogs for himself. And he brought them to his next LAN Party and showed them to Salandria, laughing at her disbelief. But he underestimated the elf kid because in an instant of AWESOME she pulled out a Barrett 50cal and shot him in the goddamn face. And she took off with the pogs.

Hiding in Shattrath for fifty years, Salandria one day met a frisky dwarf who was thrilled to find someone of his own size. They travelled together for many minutes, and came upon the Caverns of Time. There, hauling the bag of pogs around, the Bronze Dragonflight set their OMFGAWESOME bronze eyes upon Salandria the pog wreckah. Their eyes, which were bronze, glared in awesomeness induced by a shiny brown color. This awesomeness radiated pure bronzeness as the guards (who had awesome, bronze eyes) seized the elf chick kid.

"Stop!" Yelled the fat dragon lying under the hourglass who I totally can't remember the name of right now. "I will not hold her responsible for who she will do or fail to do in the future." And the guards let her go and Salandria went back to Shattrattrattrattrattrath City. The pogs were taking into custody by Michael Jackson who totally lives in the Caverns of Time, where he played with them when he was not busy molesting entertaining kids. But in his dying breath in the year of our lord 2009, he dropped them into the Supermegaomnipresentalistic timewave dimension that engulfs the Caverns of Time. And they were washed in time. And this took time. And just as it was about time, the time-washed pogs emerged in the city of Orgrimmar. And this took even more time. And I am so tired of writing the word "time".

The pogs emerged. Set into the world by Raptor Jesus, tempered in the Flames of MMOChamp by Thy Awesomebear and an unnamed (but flying) shark, and washed in the timeline timewaves of the Caverns of Time, the flame-tempered, time-washed coins dropped onto the head of an Enhancement Shaman in the city of Orgrimmar. And just that moment the servers were brought down to patch Patch 2.0.1 onto Live Servers.

Time stopped. Everything froze for roughly 15 hours cause Blizzard sucks at maintenance. Then, when the Enhancement Shaman logged back in, he found the pogs to be on his head. And he reveled. And then he equipped his double Deathbringers that he had just looted a week ago. And Kanye West, who was a rogue, saw this and yelled "Yo Idontliketwohanders, Ima really happy for yo and Ima let yo finish, but rogues had some of the best dualwield of all time!" And he Mutilated the shaman in a Level 60 1v1 Skirmish (Aka duel outside Orgrimmar), and the world exploded in Kanyelicious mutilation. And the bag of pogs exploded.

The time-washed, flame-tempered pogs were spread all across the world. Everywhere, raid and heroic bosses picked them up and went "Wow! This is a Rick Astley pog!" and took them into their dungeons. Even Outland, because Kanye West is just THAT good at Mutilating.

Then the raiders came.

Everywhere, raid and heroic bosses took permanent brain damage. And the raiders found the pogs, and in a complete and utter rickroll carried out by Ghostcrawler, they took them to their badge vendors (who were all Thy Awesomebear in disguise) and cried: "WE WANT FREE EPICS!"

And they got free epics.

And though there was some forum QQ they kept on getting free epics because frankly, one does not argue with Thy Awesomebear. Not over pogs, anyway.

And this is why we get free epics every patch.

[Sarcasm]

Cry a bit more imo.

I enjoy the badge system because it provides a slow but guaranteed reward for attending raids, rather than the possibility of endlessly farming for weeks and never seeing an upgrade.

[Joarrak]

Umm not to take away from the story but wtf is a pog??

[Deleted]

Umm not to take away from the story but wtf is a pog??

[Ulrac]

Umm not to take away from the story but wtf is a pog??

It was a fad game that picked up popularity in the 90's http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pogs

[Deleted]

Umm not to take away from the story but wtf is a pog??

Edit: Damn beaten to it. And also is that picture too big, I'm on a 24" monitor?

[Joarrak]

I see...

[Xykotic]

Its because my RNG sucks, and i couldnt stand how hard it was to get a single piece of gear in vanilla, i love badges... but i think their giving them away a bit cheap.

[Deleted]

Cry a bit more imo.

I enjoy the badge system because it provides a slow but guaranteed reward for attending raids, rather than the possibility of endlessly farming for weeks and never seeing an upgrade.

If you view the OP as QQ, consult a doctor.

[alt]

I like being able to use badge rewards to plug holes in my gear that RNG doesn't give me. That's in theory anyway.

In practice, I can't plug the biggest hole in my gear because the badge reward caster dps trinkets have been complete pieces of shit for 2 tiers now. Not to mention I need to log on daily to do the dungeon finder to get my set gear in a decent time frame and I'm getting really tired of the grind.

[ytironim]

Everywhere, raid and heroic bosses took permanent brain damage. And the raiders found the pogs, and in a complete and utter rickroll carried out by Ghostcrawler, they took them to their badge vendors (who were all Thy Awesomebear in disguise) and cried: "WE WANT FREE EPICS!"

If you need to trade badges for them, the epics aren't fucking free, are they?

[Pereid]

Umm not to take away from the story but wtf is a pog??

Pog is win.. had shitloads of em when I was a child

[DrJones]

If you view the OP as QQ, consult a doctor.

Now I present you with the end of the story:

Then the raiders came.

Everywhere, raid and heroic bosses took permanent brain damage. And the raiders found the pogs, and in a complete and utter rickroll carried out by Ghostcrawler, they took them to their badge vendors (who were all Thy Awesomebear in disguise) and cried: "WE WANT FREE EPICS!"

And they got free epics.

And though there was some forum QQ they kept on getting free epics because frankly, one does not argue with Thy Awesomebear. Not over pogs, anyway.

And this is why we get free epics every patch.

While I won't say, that it is QQ. The end sure does sound like it.

Also badges are awesome.

[Geckomayhem]

Look, I'm really happy for you, and I read the whole thing. But I think there are badges in raids to keep the raiders happy when they don't get what they want, week after week. That way, they can have a better chance of actually getting something worthwhile.

And for casuals, running heroics and collecting emblems is our only way of getting gear. It's not something that happens overnight, either. When you can't play every day and you have a real life to consider, then raiding is out of the question; and upgrading gear is still something very special, considering how long it takes to save up dozens of emblems.

[Cavilon]

Someone wants to look cool so they tried to incorporate many internet memes from 4chan/ Encyclopedia Dramatica into 1 stupid forum post.

[ILjXYZ]

Look, I'm really happy for you, and I read the whole thing. But I think there are badges in raids to keep the raiders happy when they don't get what they want, week after week. That way, they can have a better chance of actually getting something worthwhile.

And for casuals, running heroics and collecting emblems is our only way of getting gear. It's not something that happens overnight, either. When you can't play every day and you have a real life to consider, then raiding is out of the question; and upgrading gear is still something very special, considering how long it takes to save up dozens of emblems.

This. Plus, if I recall correctly, you could collect a certain number of different reagents from some of the Vanilla raids and turn them in for gear. The idea of giving raiders a little reward for their investment isn't anything new and a lot of times the badge gear is inferior to the gear obtained in raids anyway. So what's all the fuss about?

[Doomwise]

Someone wants to look cool so they tried to incorporate many internet memes from 4chan/ Encyclopedia Dramatica into 1 stupid forum post.

Jealous cos it wasn't you? :P
Frankly, that was quite amusing. Must have been really bored to come up with all that and bother writing it down here. Thank you sir/madam, that gave us a good laugh.

[zetral]

The point of this thread was lost... Nobody gives a damn if we get badges or not, that story was epic win. Probably could have used a bit more Chuck Norris though...

[hurtgen]

POGS RULE, this thread is now about Pogs....Takes me back

Oh the joys of finally getting your 1st metal Slammer..

[Deleted]

OP does not raid during Vanilla, so
STFU