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  1. #1

    How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    DPS, are you tired of endless queue times? Would you like to be able to actually complete a heroic in less than 40 minutes a pop (queue time plus run time)?

    I have the solution, and it's not something Blizzard needs to fix. It's something YOU can do.

    First, read this:

    http://toomanyannas.com/warrior/tanking-perceptions/

    Then the next time you queue up for a random, do the following:

    1. Do NOT comment on the tank's gear or drop group before you start due to the tank's gear.
    2. If you are a hunter or rogue, MD/Tricks every....single....pull, but only after the tank has pulled.
    3. If you wipe, suck it up. You'll make more money on the run than you will lose to repairs.
    4. If the tank sucks, but they're working it and trying to learn, keep your yap shut.
    5. At the end of the run, make sure that you throw the tank a compliment, especially if they're obviously a bit green.
    6. If one of your fellow DPS or healers makes a rude comment, YOU tell them to STFU, don't wait for the tank to do it.
    7. Unless it's excessively slow, never try to rush the tank, and if it is excessively slow, do it in a positive fashion ("Mate, you've got a strong healer and strong DPS behind you. Roll on." not an exact quote I heard from a DPS once, but it was close and the tank's pulling speed went up around 20% after that).

    If you do these things, you are sewing a crop of tanks that are going to grow into chain-pulling monsters that recognize the joys of instant queues in about 2-3 weeks time. In addition, you are also keeping the raid-geared tanks from being so irritated at you that they stop queueing as a tank in LFG (and yes, I know 3 ICC-25 raiding tanks that refuse to queue as a tank and would rather wait the 15-20 minutes as DPS to not have to deal with the jerks, and these are very skilled and well geared tanks and even THEY get abused).

    Every single tank you add to this mix is going to shorten your queue time and shorten your overall run times in the long run. Just keep your eye on the prize. I'm convinced that if enough DPS do this, DPS queue time could drop to as low as 8 minutes (down from 20+ on some battlegroups).

    If you are a healer: Suck it up brother. Healing the tank is supposed to be work. We have a nasty tendency to get lazy during heroics; fight this tendency until you know if your tank is going to need extra attention. We should consider it a PRIVILEGE to help a noob tank through the process of learning. It may not help you now since our queue times are fairly low (no more than 5 minutes at most), but when your DPS alt needs to run heroics, you'll reap the benefit then.

    You elitist jerkoffs have no idea that you're cutting your own nose off to spite your face. Instead just pop the zit; it'll hurt a bit, but in the end it'll be better all around.

  2. #2

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    I agree with the stated. So true...

  3. #3

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    SO YOU'RE SAYING TANKS ARE LIKE WOMEN, THEY NEED TO BE PAMPERED AND SWEET TALKED BEFORE THEY'LL GO DOWN ON YOU?


    In that case:
    God help us all.

    What happened to the testicles some people may or may not have had?

  4. #4

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    http://toomanyannas.com/warrior/tanking-perceptions/

    tldr;
    "I would rather whine on a blog no one reads, than be good at what I do, realize no one can move without me, and earn easy and free badges"

    I wish I could tank. Fast queues, tell the dps to step it up, wait around if I didn't care about the crappy job they're doing... jeez sounds HORRIBLE

  5. #5

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    Quote Originally Posted by wellhellothere
    SO YOU'RE SAYING TANKS ARE LIKE WOMEN, THEY NEED TO BE PAMPERED AND SWEET TALKED BEFORE THEY'LL GO DOWN ON YOU?


    In that case:
    God help us all.

    What happened to the testicles some people may or may not have had?
    What he is saying is that you shouldn't complain about the queue when you treat the one guy that has the most thankless and complicated job (even with all the added aoe threat in Wrath) of the group like crap for the slightest mistake.

    As for the testicles, anyone that is tanking actually challenging instances has bigger ones than those whiny dps'ers that expect every tank to have 50k HP in a heroic.

    That being said, there are horrible tanks out there and if they aren't willing to learn, you have every right to let them know they suck at it. Just make sure you actually know what you are talking about.

  6. #6

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    Totally agree with this thread.

    DPS are the ones being carried, regardless of what they think. Without a tank, DPS will die. You can't do most heroics without a tank (some exceptions). Deal with it.

    Tanks are there to hold aggro and to not get crit. DPS are there to not pull aggro and to crit the enemy to death. They aren't there to shout at people, abuse them and generally act like an asshole.

    As I said to a 72 Warlock a few days ago when he was shouting at both the tank And the healer:

    "Shut up or get back into that 30 minute queue for a new group."

    He never did shut up, and got impatient with the fact everyone had to drink after the 3rd boss and pulled the next trash mob. He died, we lived (thanks to some fancy moves by myself, even if I say so myself), he ragequit, we got a better Warlock replacement, finished instance happily.

  7. #7
    The Lightbringer Gaiwyn's Avatar
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    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    I agree that in an ideal world everyone would be pleasant; especially to tanks that are doing their darndest to keep on trucking. From a healing perspective, there have been occasions when the tank was hard to keep up, and in situations where the DPS are just being retarded, it can really put a strain on you. As a DPS, I always compliment people if they are doing well; especially healers, since I don't feel that they get appreciated often enough, either. As far as tanks go, I just wish that everyone was grateful that they managed to get into a group that has a tank; because without him or her, the run just wouldn't be happening.

    TL;DR: I endorse and/or approve of this sentiment.
    Caerdwyn | Level 91 Fire Mage <For Instance> | Nagrand-US

  8. #8

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    Quote Originally Posted by Durandro

    DPS are the ones being carried, regardless of what they think. Without a tank, DPS will die. You can't do most heroics without a tank (some exceptions). Deal with it.
    Without DPS nothing will die, except the tank due to healer eventually running oom... and without a healer everyone would die. c wut i did thar

  9. #9

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    Quote Originally Posted by str4jo
    Without DPS nothing will die, except the tank due to healer eventually running oom... and without a healer everyone would die. c wut i did thar
    Actually, i'm fairly often 2nd-3rd on dps meters, and it doesn't take me that much longer to down mobs, you're redundant, we're carrying you.

  10. #10

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    Quote Originally Posted by str4jo
    Without DPS nothing will die, except the tank due to healer eventually running oom... and without a healer everyone would die. c wut i did thar
    LOL, You can duo any of the heroics besides H HoR with just tank/heals...stopy trying to fool yourself, as none of the bosses in heroics have any sort of enrage.

  11. #11
    Blademaster
    Join Date
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    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    Another method, gear up. I've found the better geared i get the lower my queue times are. Down to maybe 2-3 mins now at 6058GS. Of course being a DK, I've tanked most of the heroics in my dps gear anyways, lol.

  12. #12

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    In general I get what you're saying, but one point is that MD, and I'll assume Tricks are both on a 30 second cd. If we're only doing 1 pull every 30 seconds then something is probably pretty off. I suspect if everybody just played their own toon and spent a bit less time giving advice to everybody else the wait time might not go down, but everybody would probably enjoy their time in instances more.

  13. #13

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    Quote Originally Posted by str4jo
    Without DPS nothing will die, except the tank due to healer eventually running oom... and without a healer everyone would die. c wut i did thar
    Tbh mate tanks can do around 2,5k dps these days so stuff will die. My dk can do around 2.3k singel target dps and way more on packs... and im not that good geared

  14. #14

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    @OP:

    How hard exactly is it for ICC25 geared tanks to tank a heroic? Here are the steps you have to follow to complete an instance in 15 minutes:

    1) Click the queue button as tank. You are instantly rewarded a spot within 5 seconds.

    2) Run your face into groups of mobs, completely ignoring any of what other dps does, until you kill the last boss, and loot your frost emblems.

    Unless dps is pulling 4 groups at a time (which is impossible) you can handle anything in a heroic. Affixing your lips to a new tank's butt if he has done poorly in a run isn't going to breed a generation of new, amazing tanks, it will grow a generation of lazy slackasses, much like the ones already in heroics and raids today.

    Compliment the ones that do well if you have to, but not the ones that suck.

    If you think tanking is a thankless job, you probably aren't a very good tank.
    (This signature was removed for violation of the Avatar & Signature Guidelines)

  15. #15

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    Quote Originally Posted by FloppyD
    You are all wrong!

    All you do is dual box, invite a friends or family members druid/pally/warrior/dk to group and que as tank. Once que pops in 1 second leave the group so you are in front of the dungeon que to look for a tank. I have done this for 3 chars now.
    Word.

  16. #16

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    It's like the bill of rights for WoW! This is great stuff.
    Strikke 80 Holy Paladin/Darkspear US

  17. #17

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    This thread only enforced one theory, that tanks are elitist douchebags who think they're entitled to the freaking world. Way to go, Dungeon Finder. You just bred a whole new generation of arrogant jerks.

    Let's see you run an instance properly after pissing off the healer, dick-in-a-can.
    DEAL WITH IT.

  18. #18
    Titan
    Join Date
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    Location
    Rotherham, England/UK
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    13,177

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    Quote Originally Posted by Propain
    LOL, You can duo any of the heroics besides H HoR with just tank/heals...stopy trying to fool yourself, as none of the bosses in heroics have any sort of enrage.
    A lot can even be soloed.

    Quote Originally Posted by str4jo
    Without DPS nothing will die, except the tank due to healer eventually running oom... and without a healer everyone would die. c wut i did thar
    I see what you did there, and i think you're wrong. Yeah, there, i said it. Happy?

    Quote Originally Posted by FloppyD
    You are all wrong!

    All you do is dual box, invite a friends or family members druid/pally/warrior/dk to group and que as tank. Once que pops in 1 second leave the group so you are in front of the dungeon que to look for a tank. I have done this for 3 chars now.
    I like. Who needs other family members when you've got 3 monitors though?

    Quote Originally Posted by Clockworker
    This thread only enforced one theory, that tanks are elitist douchebags who think they're entitled to the freaking world. Way to go, Dungeon Finder. You just bred a whole new generation of arrogant jerks.

    Let's see you run an instance properly after pissing off the healer, dick-in-a-can.
    You do know that the majority of tanks couldn't give a shit about wasting time insulting people like you. Rolling a tank clearly makes you smarter than the average DPS, as you've just proven without doubt.
    [...]

  19. #19

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    Quote Originally Posted by Clockworker
    This thread only enforced one theory, that tanks are elitist douchebags who think they're entitled to the freaking world. Way to go, Dungeon Finder. You just bred a whole new generation of arrogant jerks.

    Let's see you run an instance properly after pissing off the healer, dick-in-a-can.
    You should see some of the mages who think it's hard to do 11k pressing 2 buttons.

  20. #20

    Re: How to shorten the LFG queue for DPS

    as a tank, i approve of this message; even tho i complete most heroics in 10 mins, it feels nice to have everyone at my mercy
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