These are the people in your BG

[Swaap]

Copied from our gforums.
The guy who posted it there copied it from WoW Forums.
Dont know original poster.

These Are The People In Your Battleground.
You know these people like family. Mostly, you hate them.

The Cast:

Neweighty- He's got 4 blues, 3 greens, and some unenchanted BOA stuff. He's pretty excited about his jump key. He's your backup in the throne room.

Your Driver- He's the guy behind the wheel of your demolisher. He's apparently a resident at some sort of assisted living for people who drool. You've got the single pursuing melee rooted/sheeped/cycloned/feared/disarmed/sent to timeout. Just to be safe, he'll turn around and attempt to ram.

Mr. Indestructible- He's a lock wearing full Wrathful. Kill his pet? Never. Kill the lock? Never. Run? Too late. Have fun. Oh, and your trinket is down.

He-Who-Will-Not-Be-Seen- This is a healer in full tier 10, probably a resto druid. He's preventing anyone on his team from dying and he'll never run out of mana. He sits in the back, not even bothering to move because he knows that he's completely invisible to your teammates.

The Ret Pallie- Yep, he's got it. That 51 point talent that removes all healing spells from his spell book.

That Friggin' Mage- You're pretty sure that was his fourth consecutive iceblock.

The Cliffdwellers- There's a 6v6 going on up at Lumber Mill, all elemental shamans, boomkin, and priests. Might be a good time for a warrior to go help at a node with nice, flat ground.

The Arms Warrior- Who says warriors are hard to play? Don't mess around with all that tedious stance switching. It's simple. Hit Bladestorm. Do not hamstring. Wait at the graveyard for your cool down, repeat.

The Rogue- He's been sitting in the hut that holds Warsong's mana/health regeneration leaf for 15 minutes. He's not afk. He's just... well, waiting. His own mother didn't like him. You don't either.

The Resto Shaman- He healed your team for 458,000 in a Warsong that went the limit. You know he was there because you can see his numbers on the board. Total heals to you – 0.

The Buffless- Heck no. Ain't nobody's gonna start up this here battleground until he gets his battleshout, kings, healthstone, and a paw.

Africa Is A PVP Server- That's the name of their 5's team. They were Gladiators last season. And the season before, but on entirely different toons. They're grinding out this season's new non-set epics. They hate doing it. They're pissed. They're all here. They will never be on your team.

Macroman- “GROUP1- GO LUMBERMILL, GROUP2-GO STABLES, GROUP3- HOLD FARM. . DO NOT FIGHT ON THE ROAD. HOLD THESE AND WE WIN.” Pure. Tactical. Genius.

Longshoot- You, a healer, a shadow priest, and a stealthed rogue are defending the stables. He's the hunter rezzing, petless, at the Allied base. He's sure that he can burst you all down, this time.

The Quitter- “OMG they've got 3 bases and we've only got 2!” “Just quit and let them win so we can get more honor.” This guy will likely die a virgin.

Thatonedude- Okay, so the point is to win and to do that you've got to kill the bad guys. But somehow, this punk has made it personal. Like, really personal. You're seriously wondering where he lives and how you can find out.

The Motivator- “OMG YOU GUYS SUCK. SOOOO FAIL. Y DO YOU EVEN TRY? NOBODY EVEN GARDED THE FLAG ROOM.” Plays (you guessed it) a hunter. His stats for the game- 4 kills, 9 deaths, 97,000 damage.

The Tattletale- Spends the majority of the game demanding that you report the afkers, completely unaware that roughly an equal number of horde and alliance afk. Doesn't actually do much. He spent a fair amount of time as hallway monitor and a somewhat larger amount stuffed in lockers.

The Bear- He's the druid tank with 67,000 health and, by God, your teammates are gonna teach him a thing or two about messing with melee.

The Unhealed- He's the rogue, hunter, or warrior who utterly fails to understand that until he rolls a healer, he'll never, ever get a heal. Screaming at the healers will effectively address this situation, right?

The Old Gladiator- He was big in the battlegrounds in Vanilla and in Season One. He thinks PVP has gone to hell. Heaven help you if you cap Snowfall, cause this dude is gonna go nuts. See Motivator, above.

The Crushable- You just hit him for 6k with a white attack. You don't recognize a thing he's wearing, but you do know what a 19,000 health pool means. And you're gonna run clear across the zone to find him again. And again.

The Raider- He's from a below average guild on a PVE server. He will assert that unless “EVERYONE ZERG”, your outing in the battleground will end in defeat. This is not, actually, because he fails to understand the value of a strong defense in AV. He's simply a player who fails miserably at PVP. Hey, it's scary in here.

The persistant. The one that targets you, and by GOD you are gonna die if it is the last thing he does in this world. And it usually is, as he will mindlessly follow you to his own death.

[Therastos]

So true.. So true..

[Relictus]

The AFKer- 10/15 of your BG.

[Zulluhead/Anguish]

Pure win and after reading this I have to say "GOD Bless I dont belong in any one of those categories".

[Qtulu]

Haha, awesome. I have been at least the persistent for sure

[Merlinsback]

You forgot "The Determined - Usually a hunter, you just killed him, he rez's and comes right back to you, you kill him again, he rez's and comes back and kills you since you only have 6k hp left, then taunts your corpse and thinks he's the shit."

[Kaynot]

hilarious, i am misssing nightelf hunters and dk kids

[Värgen]

Most of these are pretty much spot on.

[Tferr]

I made my own.

The Protection Warrior
"Can't do that while stunned. You are silenced."
The warrior with almost 50,000 health unbuffed. He might not be the biggest damage threat on the battlefield, but may the PvP gods have mercy on your team if he gets his hands on the flag. He's going to start running and you won't be able to stop him. And he'll do it 3 times in a row, without dying.

[10-2]

It's a good thing I don't PVP :P

[Vasz]

Fantastic bedtime reading.

[The Aphex Twin]

<---------------He-Who-Will-Not-Be-Seen

Spot on description lol.

[soxyboi]

The persistant. The one that targets you, and by GOD you are gonna die if it is the last thing he does in this world. And it usually is, as he will mindlessly follow you to his own death.

Hunting players on for 'Wrecking Ball' is my favourite BG passtime, if you get them on 19 KBs its even sweeter.

[trk182]

You forgot the cousins of The Cliffdwellers.

The None-Shall-Pass. Boomkins and Ele Shamans that do nothing but sit on the bridge in EoTS. Cap the flag...screw that I'm waiting on my cooldown to knock people off again.

[Koris]

Great stuff - was easily able to apply some of these to my experiences in battlegrounds. ;D

(Came in here expecting a Copy-Paste from WoWWiki :-X)

[Gasman]

excellent read...kudos

i laughed, cried, and realized I'm most all of the above mentioned at one time or another.

[sharpy]

The Resto Shaman Yep that's me.

[Fogsworth]

You should add 'The One'
That one player (usualy a rogue or cat druid or somtimes yourself) who attmpts to WIN the game yet is always killed due to them not being able to find a single ally player no matter what, & unfortunatly always meets the entire enemy team & there grandmothers.

[Butterbumps]

Just ran into a hilarious Persistent/Cliffdweller in AB on my rogue. A blood elf priest, spent the whole match repeatedly charging to the lumber mill, usually alone, and casting nothing but Mind Control, only to be unceremoniously murdered every time. I appreciated the entertainment and the free HKs.

[njd.aitken]

These threads are always so entertaining. Thank you.